Not doing " Father Christmas "

[hopeandpray]

Well I do think it's a lie. It is a lie. But it's not a mean lie. I'll probably end up telling lots of lies to my children. Like that their blobby painting really looks like Mummy
As someone who relies on logic and science rather than just belief, I did consider not doing santa. However, I really loved it growing up. I think it's probably good for them to challenge what they're told and figure out for themselves that he's not real.

 

[freckleonear]

I think it's incredibly mean to deprive your children of the magic of christmas.

And I think that is incredibly rude. You have no idea about my family's cultural or religious background! You wouldn't dream of applying that same statement to other parenting choices (at least I hope not), so why get so riled up over something as trivial as Santa?

 

[Vesta]

My Dad didn't want to do the whole "santa" thing. Thank god my mum convinced him to along with it. I feel I would have missed out otherwise. The belief in Santa is just so magical.

My Dad felt it was important that we understood that the presents came from them. So in our house mum and dad bought the presents, then gave them to Santa who brought them back on Christmas Eve after we'd gone to bed.

 

[stephx]

I think it's incredibly mean to deprive your children of the magic of christmas.

And I think that is incredibly rude. You have no idea about my family's cultural or religious background! You wouldn't dream of applying that same statement to other parenting choices (at least I hope not), so why get so riled up over something as trivial as Santa?

Not rude at all- I find it mean. Obviously if your religion/ culture goes against christianity. But for the sheer reason of being opposed to consumerism and not wanting to lie to your kids, yeah I do sorry!

 

[tallybee]

Being opposed to consumerism is perfectly legitimate and not wanting to lie to your kids is also valid IMO. Each to their own

 

[emyandpotato]

I was never let to believe that Father Christmas was real but I still loved Christmas, and still do! I do sort of wish I'd had that, though.

I debated it myself but have decided to do it, but only one gift from Father Christmas so that he chooses one special thing to ask for, and so that he doesn't wonder why some children get more than others. I won't say that every child gets a present from Father Christmas either, but I think I'll go with every child who believes gets a present from him (with all other presents being from other people), and then if he asks more I can explain that not everyone lives within the same culture, and that some children can't believe in him, and then I can say because they won't get a gift cos they don't believe we can give them a gift instead, and then work together to do shoeboxes or something... Sorry I'm rambling! It isn't the lie itself that bothers me it's the implication that Christmas is all about the gifts and forgetting people in need that bugs me about it. But it is so magical that it's definitely a nice thing to be able to believe.

 

[emyandpotato]

Hmm, as an atheist I carefully considered what I was going to do. My family has always celebrated Xmas in a secular way, we did do Santa as kids and I did eventually give the same 'magic' to my children. I can understand why people wouldn't though. The idea that 'good' kids get gifts from santa is all very well but it kind of implies that kids whose parents have no money aren't 'good' if they don't get much. Each to their own. My two have figured out that santa's not real and I've explained to them it's to make 'magical' memories for little children. I've asked them to remember how great it was for them and not to spoil it or other kids - which means not saying santa is not real at school etc.

I absolutely detest the idea of the naughty list. Why it is in every bloody santa film I do not know. It's outdated and horrible. Will not be using it, not even as bribery.

 

[freckleonear]

I think it's incredibly mean to deprive your children of the magic of christmas.

And I think that is incredibly rude. You have no idea about my family's cultural or religious background! You wouldn't dream of applying that same statement to other parenting choices (at least I hope not), so why get so riled up over something as trivial as Santa?

Not rude at all- I find it mean. Obviously if your religion/ culture goes against christianity. But for the sheer reason of being opposed to consumerism and not wanting to lie to your kids, yeah I do sorry!

Mean would imply that it has some kind of detrimental effect on the child. Either that effect is universal across all non-believing children or it is non-existent (based on my own experience of growing up knowing that Santa isn't real I'll go for the latter). Therefore to say that some reasons are more valid than others is ridiculous.

Incidentally, there are plenty of Christians who don't believe in celebrating Christmas at all, let alone Santa.

 

[MrsPear]

Personally I won't be building a big story around Father Christmas although I'm sure LO will still enjoy the 'magic' of him e.g. when he comes to nursery and so on. But at home I don't think I'll say presents are from him or so on.

I never believed in father Christmas since I had an elder brother who told me, but I still enjoyed Christmas!

Basically for me, Christmas is about showing the people you love that you love them. So that includes visiting family, having special food with them, and getting them little things to say thank you for being the lovely people they are.

I'd like to make a big tradition with Joni in the run up to Christmas- choosing little gifts for the people she loves (granny, grandpa and so on). Could be home made, bought, anything- just something we chose together that represents our love for that person, could even be planning a special cake for them when they come to our house at Christmas.

And, she'll learn that the people who love her will also make Christmas special for her. So they'll buy her little gifts and do things she wants over Christmas. So, I guess if she wanted to go to Santa's grotto, I would take her. But we won't be doing the whole santa fairytale at home.

Even as a small child I took such pride in choosing gifts for people, it was genuinely fun. And it isn't just about the presents- it's about doing something that person will love. I loved that aspect of Christmas, and still do. People get so much pleasure from giving their children presents and I think children get a similar pleasure from giving their families special things. So, I genuinely think that Father Christmas would impede that.

I don't really get the whole, "You'll get presents if you're good" although I know a lot of people don't include that in their version of Santa. I buy gifts for Joni because I love her, so that's what I'll tell her. It's nothing to do with being good or naughty.

 

[emyandpotato]

Even as a small child I took such pride in choosing gifts for people, it was genuinely fun. And it isn't just about the presents- it's about doing something that person will love. I loved that aspect of Christmas, and still do. People get so much pleasure from giving their children presents and I think children get a similar pleasure from giving their families special things. So, I genuinely think that Father Christmas would impede that.

I don't think it does at all. We'll just be doing one santa present and the rest from us and family, and he will be choosing/making gifts too. Father Christmas is just that tiny extra.

 

[pinkpolkadot]

Each to their own, I guess I can to an extent understand why some people don't do Santa. The lying thing doesn't really bother me personally, I don't see a problem with a bit of make believe for the kids. I am starting to dislike the whole commercial aspect to it though, and we don't spend that much, I prefer to buy thoughtful not so expensive gifts or even make something (you can tell who feels the same way when they receive said DIY gift, reactions range from those that really appreciate the time and thought put in to those that just think you are a tighta*se )

Having said that, for me, nothing compares to that amazing magical feeling when I was a nipper, going to bed Christmas Eve all excited and waking up Christmas morning wondering if he's been! I can't wait to let my DD experience that, she was too young to 'get it' last year but this year I think she may do a little

 

[stephx]

I think it's incredibly mean to deprive your children of the magic of christmas.

And I think that is incredibly rude. You have no idea about my family's cultural or religious background! You wouldn't dream of applying that same statement to other parenting choices (at least I hope not), so why get so riled up over something as trivial as Santa?

Not rude at all- I find it mean. Obviously if your religion/ culture goes against christianity. But for the sheer reason of being opposed to consumerism and not wanting to lie to your kids, yeah I do sorry!

Mean would imply that it has some kind of detrimental effect on the child. Either that effect is universal across all non-believing children or it is non-existent (based on my own experience of growing up knowing that Santa isn't real I'll go for the latter). Therefore to say that some reasons are more valid than others is ridiculous.

Incidentally, there are plenty of Christians who don't believe in celebrating Christmas at all, let alone Santa.

That's my opinion- it differs to yours, so what??

Christians that don't celebrate the birth of christ is not something I ever heard of during my 20 years weekly church attendance, but whatever..

I think you are taking this too seriously to be honest. A few people have agreed that they personally think it is mean, no need to get defensive about it.

 

[R_x]

Without Santa it's just like a birthday? You go down and you get presents of your family and friends. Exciting but not magical.

 

[Amber4]

I can never imagine not doing santa with my child/ren. It's so magical and an amazing time to spend with family. Whether I bought my children 1 gift or 100 I still would do Santa. When I found out he wasn't real it didn't seriously affect my life! It's so harmless really imo! I can't wait for my little girl to start believing in him really as she doesn't understand just yet. I never heard of not doing it until BNB and in my honest I don't understand why (unless religious) x

 

[Eternal]

I can get the idea of not doing santa and even mentioned it to my husband, but decided to go with it. I can see it form both sides really, but Christmas really has been blown out of all proportion and I do love the sounds of a simple Christmas although I admit I go over board every year and then wish I hadn't.

Steph - there people who identify themselves as Christians who do not celebrate Christmas, Jehovah's Witness' for example and those who fellow the actual date (which we know is y Christmas as that was a pagan tradition) and then those who don't do Christmas as it's done today but follow a simpler christ focus traction without the gift giving, or Christmas trees etc.

However, I'm a Christian who does do the whole Christmas thing with Santa and trees and sleigh bells lol. But I can understand the other side of it too.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

I have relatives who've never done it. I actually do feel a bit bad for lying to be honest! Me and Lucas have a really relaxed relationship and it feels really weird to pretend something as big as Father Christmas but he loves it all. We're doing elf on the shelf at the minute and it has really captured his imagination.

I know some people aren't a fan of the naughty list BUT I have learned recently that it comes in handy when they encounter a non-believer!
"So-and-so told me Father Christmas is just pretend"
"Ahh, that's because he's on the naughty list and doesn't get any presents!"

 

[stephx]

I can get the idea of not doing santa and even mentioned it to my husband, but decided to go with it. I can see it form both sides really, but Christmas really has been blown out of all proportion and I do love the sounds of a simple Christmas although I admit I go over board every year and then wish I hadn't.

Steph - there people who identify themselves as Christians who do not celebrate Christmas, Jehovah's Witness' for example and those who fellow the actual date (which we know is y Christmas as that was a pagan tradition) and then those who don't do Christmas as it's done today but follow a simpler christ focus traction without the gift giving, or Christmas trees etc.

However, I'm a Christian who does do the whole Christmas thing with Santa and trees and sleigh bells lol. But I can understand the other side of it too.

Ah ok thanks! My Church was all for christmas too, and at the church school I went to it was fully celebrated!

 

[freckleonear]

I think it's incredibly mean to deprive your children of the magic of christmas.

And I think that is incredibly rude. You have no idea about my family's cultural or religious background! You wouldn't dream of applying that same statement to other parenting choices (at least I hope not), so why get so riled up over something as trivial as Santa?

Not rude at all- I find it mean. Obviously if your religion/ culture goes against christianity. But for the sheer reason of being opposed to consumerism and not wanting to lie to your kids, yeah I do sorry!

Mean would imply that it has some kind of detrimental effect on the child. Either that effect is universal across all non-believing children or it is non-existent (based on my own experience of growing up knowing that Santa isn't real I'll go for the latter). Therefore to say that some reasons are more valid than others is ridiculous.

Incidentally, there are plenty of Christians who don't believe in celebrating Christmas at all, let alone Santa.

That's my opinion- it differs to yours, so what??

Christians that don't celebrate the birth of christ is not something I ever heard of during my 20 years weekly church attendance, but whatever..

I think you are taking this too seriously to be honest. A few people have agreed that they personally think it is mean, you don't need to get defensive about it.

It may be your opinion, but you didn't need to be so offensive. If someone said "I think it's incredibly mean to leave your baby to cry/deprive your baby of breastmilk/put your toddler in timeout" there would be an outrage. And unlike those examples, there is absolutely no evidence to suggest that not believing in Santa is in any way harmful to a child!

 

[Eternal]

I can get the idea of not doing santa and even mentioned it to my husband, but decided to go with it. I can see it form both sides really, but Christmas really has been blown out of all proportion and I do love the sounds of a simple Christmas although I admit I go over board every year and then wish I hadn't.

Steph - there people who identify themselves as Christians who do not celebrate Christmas, Jehovah's Witness' for example and those who fellow the actual date (which we know is y Christmas as that was a pagan tradition) and then those who don't do Christmas as it's done today but follow a simpler christ focus traction without the gift giving, or Christmas trees etc.

However, I'm a Christian who does do the whole Christmas thing with Santa and trees and sleigh bells lol. But I can understand the other side of it too.

Ah ok thanks! My Church was all for christmas too, and at the church school I went to it was fully celebrated!

Yeah mine too, but I guess Christianity covers a massive spectrum of beliefs. When I ran the children programme at my church the kids Christmas party had a Santa come visit.

 

[stephx]

I think it's incredibly mean to deprive your children of the magic of christmas.

And I think that is incredibly rude. You have no idea about my family's cultural or religious background! You wouldn't dream of applying that same statement to other parenting choices (at least I hope not), so why get so riled up over something as trivial as Santa?

Not rude at all- I find it mean. Obviously if your religion/ culture goes against christianity. But for the sheer reason of being opposed to consumerism and not wanting to lie to your kids, yeah I do sorry!

Mean would imply that it has some kind of detrimental effect on the child. Either that effect is universal across all non-believing children or it is non-existent (based on my own experience of growing up knowing that Santa isn't real I'll go for the latter). Therefore to say that some reasons are more valid than others is ridiculous.

Incidentally, there are plenty of Christians who don't believe in celebrating Christmas at all, let alone Santa.

That's my opinion- it differs to yours, so what??

Christians that don't celebrate the birth of christ is not something I ever heard of during my 20 years weekly church attendance, but whatever..

I think you are taking this too seriously to be honest. A few people have agreed that they personally think it is mean, you don't need to get defensive about it.

It may be your opinion, but you didn't need to be so offensive. If someone said "I think it's incredibly mean to leave your baby to cry/deprive your baby of breastmilk/put your toddler in timeout" there would be an outrage. And unlike those examples, there is absolutely no evidence to suggest that not believing in Santa is in any way harmful to a child!

Fair point, sorry if I came across offensive