Not doing " Father Christmas "

[BigLegEmma]

We don't do Father Christmas in our family. I won't lie to my children by telling them something is real when it isn't. They know it is just a story, it doesn't spoil their fun.

We are cutting down on presents too. This year our children have one present each and we are not buying for adult friends and family. Next year I'd like to cut out bought presents completely. I hate the consumerism and waste. We'd like to encourage our children to focus on giving instead of getting.

My kind of Christmas.

 

[freckleonear]

Can I ask a question, those who don't do santa now did your parents do santa with you when you were growing up?

As children my brother and I used to hang up our stockings for Father Christmas, but we always knew he wasn't real.

 

[Natsku]

I don't do Father Christmas. My parents didn't do it either. We knew all our presents came from them and they were under the tree days before Christmas and to me that was the most magical thing as I could read the clues on the tags and shake them and try and guess what I was guessing. I definitely feel that I didn't miss out and so I am sure Maria won't miss out.

 

[lozzy21]

In my house Santa was just a delivery man who would leave you something small and that's the way were doing it with Niamh.

 

[MrsPear]

Can I ask a question, those who don't do santa now did your parents do santa with you when you were growing up?

We didn't 'not' do Santa, it wasn't a philosophy on my parents part- but I just don't remember believing in it because my elder brother told me it wasn't true, so we never did anything like writing letters to him or whatever other Santa related activities there are. We still had a stocking at the end of the bed. It was filled with 'stuff'...always the same things each year...a torch at the top so we could see to open it in the dark, an apple/orange, 20pence (I always remember being disappointed with the fruit and the money!), a packet of chocolate coins, a pocket diary, a pen/pencil/rubber/ruler...and probably a few more I've forgotten.

The presents under the tree were always from my parents.

I didn't believe in Santa but it was still SO exciting to wake up and find a stocking on the bed. I'd still be excited by that now!!! And my parents always furiously denied any knowledge although they never really 'promoted' santa either, but it was just part of the tradition to deny any knowledge and act shocked about there being stockings on the beds.

x

 

[catty]

We've always done it, but now I can completely understand why you wouldn't as my nine year old still believes but I am having to consider telling him the truth as I don't want hi teased at school. I also don't want to hurt him

My mum had to tell me when I was 11 as she didnt want me to get bullied when I went to academy school haha. I actually had queried it for a few years but my mum and dad were not well off and to get the presents we got I just assumed there was no way the could afford it. I was a bit sad when I found out that everyone knew even my sister and theyd all been pretending but I got over it fairly quickly. ( I did believe in anything though I used to think harry potter was a true story)

 

[Jchihuahua]

I do the whole Santa thing with mine and I feel that it adds to the magic of christmas in our house.

One thing did make me feel sad about Santa though a couple of years ago. After the Christmas holidays a child in my class (4 years old and from a culture that doesn't celebrate christmas) came up to me and said 'Why doesn't Santa like me? Am I naughty?'. It turned out that she had listened to everyone talking about Santa for the last month, seen him on the telly, on adverts, in stories, songs etc and assumed as kids would that he was real and left presents for all the boys and girls. After the holidays the children were talking about what they'd got from santa and it clicked for her that he hadn't been to her house and she hadn't had any presents. It was really difficult as a teacher as the other children believed Santa to be real and obviously I wouldn't spoil it for them by saying any different but at the same time making this child feel that she'd not done anything wrong. I felt really sad for her though.

 

[freckleonear]

I do the whole Santa thing with mine and I feel that it adds to the magic of christmas in our house.

One thing did make me feel sad about Santa though a couple of years ago. After the Christmas holidays a child in my class (4 years old and from a culture that doesn't celebrate christmas) came up to me and said 'Why doesn't Santa like me? Am I naughty?'. It turned out that she had listened to everyone talking about Santa for the last month, seen him on the telly, on adverts, in stories, songs etc and assumed as kids would that he was real and left presents for all the boys and girls. After the holidays the children were talking about what they'd got from santa and it clicked for her that he hadn't been to her house and she hadn't had any presents. It was really difficult as a teacher as the other children believed Santa to be real and obviously I wouldn't spoil it for them by saying any different but at the same time making this child feel that she'd not done anything wrong. I felt really sad for her though.

That's so sad.

 

[sparkle_1979]

That's awful. I think if you do not do santa u need to make your child never feel like this

 

[Kate&Lucas]

I do the whole Santa thing with mine and I feel that it adds to the magic of christmas in our house.

One thing did make me feel sad about Santa though a couple of years ago. After the Christmas holidays a child in my class (4 years old and from a culture that doesn't celebrate christmas) came up to me and said 'Why doesn't Santa like me? Am I naughty?'. It turned out that she had listened to everyone talking about Santa for the last month, seen him on the telly, on adverts, in stories, songs etc and assumed as kids would that he was real and left presents for all the boys and girls. After the holidays the children were talking about what they'd got from santa and it clicked for her that he hadn't been to her house and she hadn't had any presents. It was really difficult as a teacher as the other children believed Santa to be real and obviously I wouldn't spoil it for them by saying any different but at the same time making this child feel that she'd not done anything wrong. I felt really sad for her though.

Oh no poor thing!

 

[lhancock90]

OH had actually never discussed this. Until this thread.
He feels that he doesn't want to promote or deny Santa. We are both against using Santa as a punishment. I hate the whole "be good or Santa won't come" threat.
As a kid I believed in Santa and when I found out I didn't feel lied to at all. Just like I believed in the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny.
I was a "spoiled" child in the sense that I always had a lot of presents but I remember being 8 and using my pocket money to buy presents because I loved to give as well. I brought my one cousin coat hangers
The tooth fairy didn't always bring me money, she wrote me letters or left me plastic gems. I was very much a kid with a wild imagination who found Easter, Christmas and losing a tooth completely magical.
I want that magic for my own babies, but I know that it's far more than just presents, its decorating the tree, reading Christmas stories and singing Christmas songs etc.
Evelyn's first Christmas we went insane with presents and I absolutely regretted it from the moment she woke up, she was 7 months, overwhelmed with things she didn't need and never used.
Last year was a lot more low key and this year will be too. We have got them presents but we haven't spent hundreds because it's just not needed, Evelyn adores books and films I don't want to overload her with toys she'll never use just for the sake of spoiling her. It's not what I want for them at all. We have encouraged family who want to buy to go small or to buy things they'll need or that are educational.
I know we probably sound like complete Scrooges to a lot of people but the magic of Christmas for me goes so far beyond presents.
This year is about a whole day with my girls and their Daddy to draw and paint and play, to read and sing and dance. We rarely get to go do that as a family what with work etc.
I'm not religious so for us, Christmas will always be about family. Especially what with losing the baby, a grandad and an uncle and a friend at this time of year, it just makes me want that family day even more.
I completely respect families who choose to do Santa and who choose not to, everybody is different. Why should we all conform to being the same?
We aren't even having a turkey, I refuse to pay £20+ for a meat my OH hates when I could get a chicken for a fiver that is to us, much tastier! And Christmas puddings? Bleurgh! Trifle all the way!

So basically yes we are having a magical Christmas, but it's not based around presents. They are a very small part of our perfect family day.

 

[ShanandBoc]

As a Jehovahs witness thought i should comment

As Christians we dont celebrate xmas at all, for reasons Frecklonear explained well in this thread, but completely respect others right to do so

I never celebrated it as a child but didnt miss out, mum used to give presents all the time.

Yes Jesus we know wasnt born in December, the date of his birth is not mentioned nor any record of it being celebrated yet the date of his death was given and he specifically instructed us to commemorate it. Also virtually everything about xmas and its traditions are pagan and not biblical / chritian in origin. Also has become very commercialised etc. So thats the reasons in a nutshell.

We still give gifts and dd receives them throughout the year on no specific date.....theres a few things i know she would love atm so early in the new year we will buy her some things, wrap them and give them to her as a complete surprise.

We have parties, bbqs etc so nothing wrong with any of that. People seem to think we dont give gifts, have fun etc but we do all throughout the year and over the holiday season too as most are on holidays from work etc

This year we will be camping down the beach with family and friends over the xmas period so will be having BBQs, playing games, swimming, fishing, having a few drinks (well not me this year as im pregnant!! ) but yeah our xmas day wont be too different to the rest of you.

 

[SophiasMummy]

What ever happened to Christmas spirit, the magic of Christmas and encouraging children to have an imagination. My daughter loves to imagine things like dragons in the trees snd indians in the forest when we're out walking and loves to make stories up its amazing and refeshing to have a child not ruined by a sociaty that prefers to sit there child infront of a tv or computer instead of reading storys, playing games and going outside. I wont tell my LO santas not real she is a child and deserves a childhood not to be thrown into the awful world of our sociaty which she will no doubt quickly learn about considering how quickly kids grow up these days. Just think how much most of us miss being kids being excited about seeing santa and playing with new toys and reading books how is it fair to take that from our own children

 

[ShanandBoc]

What ever happened to Christmas spirit, the magic of Christmas and encouraging children to have an imagination. My daughter loves to imagine things like dragons in the trees snd indians in the forest when we're out walking and loves to make stories up its amazing and refeshing to have a child not ruined by a sociaty that prefers to sit there child infront of a tv or computer instead of reading storys, playing games and going outside. I wont tell my LO santas not real she is a child and deserves a childhood not to thrown into the awful world of our sociaty. Just think how much most of us miss being kids being excited about seeing santa and playing with new toys and reading books how is it fair to take that from our own children

With all due respect, just because a parent doesnt teach their children about santa doesnt mean they dont have an imagination or that they plonk their child in front of a tv and not read them stories etc or that their child misses out on playing with new toys?

DD loves being a princess, putting her fairy outfit on, pretending to be a lion etc. I dont see how not teaching a child about santa takes any of that away?

I agree theres nothing more beautiful than a childs innocence and imagination

 

[SophiasMummy]

What ever happened to Christmas spirit, the magic of Christmas and encouraging children to have an imagination. My daughter loves to imagine things like dragons in the trees snd indians in the forest when we're out walking and loves to make stories up its amazing and refeshing to have a child not ruined by a sociaty that prefers to sit there child infront of a tv or computer instead of reading storys, playing games and going outside. I wont tell my LO santas not real she is a child and deserves a childhood not to thrown into the awful world of our sociaty. Just think how much most of us miss being kids being excited about seeing santa and playing with new toys and reading books how is it fair to take that from our own children

With all due respect, just because a parent doesnt teach their children about santa doesnt mean they dont have an imagination or that they plonk their child in front of a tv and not read them stories etc or that their child misses out on playing with new toys?

DD loves being a princess, putting her fairy outfit on, pretending to be a lion etc. I dont see how not teaching a child about santa takes any of that away?

I agree theres nothing more beautiful than a childs innocence and imagination

By telling a child something isnt real that a lot children do believe is real is taking away some of there innocence as children (I meant ruining the innocence of childhood not just imagination sorry) in my opinion but obviously thats just my opinion. Ive lost count of the number of people who have told me how amazing it is to see such an imaginitive happy child as my LO is and I couldnt bring my self to take away that innocence by saying santa or the tooth fairy etc isnt real, she doesnt care about money or how many presents she gets, she just loves to believe in magic and santa and to see all her family on christmas day

 

[lhancock90]

What ever happened to Christmas spirit, the magic of Christmas and encouraging children to have an imagination. My daughter loves to imagine things like dragons in the trees snd indians in the forest when we're out walking and loves to make stories up its amazing and refeshing to have a child not ruined by a sociaty that prefers to sit there child infront of a tv or computer instead of reading storys, playing games and going outside. I wont tell my LO santas not real she is a child and deserves a childhood not to thrown into the awful world of our sociaty. Just think how much most of us miss being kids being excited about seeing santa and playing with new toys and reading books how is it fair to take that from our own children

With all due respect, just because a parent doesnt teach their children about santa doesnt mean they dont have an imagination or that they plonk their child in front of a tv and not read them stories etc or that their child misses out on playing with new toys?

DD loves being a princess, putting her fairy outfit on, pretending to be a lion etc. I dont see how not teaching a child about santa takes any of that away?

I agree theres nothing more beautiful than a childs innocence and imagination

By telling a child something isnt real that a lot children do believe is real is taking away some of there innocence as children (I meant ruining the innocence of childhood not just imagination sorry) in my opinion but obviously thats just my opinion. Ive lost count of the number of people who have told me how amazing it is to see such an imaginitive happy child as my LO is and I couldnt bring my self to take away that innocence by saying santa or the tooth fairy etc isnt real, she doesnt care about money or how many presents she gets, she just loves to believe in magic and santa and to see all her family on christmas day

What about Muslim, Hindu, Buddist and Sikh families who choose not to celebrate Christmas because its really, based on a religious event? Is it okay for their children not to hear about Santa? Genuinely curious there.

 

[BigLegEmma]

By telling a child something isnt real that a lot children do believe is real is taking away some of there innocence as children (I meant ruining the innocence of childhood not just imagination sorry) in my opinion but obviously thats just my opinion. Ive lost count of the number of people who have told me how amazing it is to see such an imaginitive happy child as my LO is and I couldnt bring my self to take away that innocence by saying santa or the tooth fairy etc isnt real, she doesnt care about money or how many presents she gets, she just loves to believe in magic and santa and to see all her family on christmas day

Knowing the origins of the Santa myth - no, not St Nicholas, the bloody, sacrificial ones - I'm just not comfortable involving children in that. We will create some other family tradition that allows bump to use his/her imagination and feel the magic of childhood. Maybe we'll do Chanukah. I imagine Jesus celebrated Chanukah.

 

[ILoveShoes]

By telling a child something isnt real that a lot children do believe is real is taking away some of there innocence as children (I meant ruining the innocence of childhood not just imagination sorry) in my opinion but obviously thats just my opinion. Ive lost count of the number of people who have told me how amazing it is to see such an imaginitive happy child as my LO is and I couldnt bring my self to take away that innocence by saying santa or the tooth fairy etc isnt real, she doesnt care about money or how many presents she gets, she just loves to believe in magic and santa and to see all her family on christmas day

Knowing the origins of the Santa myth - no, not St Nicholas, the bloody, sacrificial ones - I'm just not comfortable involving children in that. We will create some other family tradition that allows bump to use his/her imagination and feel the magic of childhood. Maybe we'll do Chanukah. I imagine Jesus celebrated Chanukah.

What are the origins? The bloody sacrificial ones? This isn't something I've ever heard of.

 

[sparkle_1979]

I was wondering about schools, do the non believers ( for whatever reason ) tell the other children. I'd find it hard to believe they don't, kids being kids and all.

In my school everyone believed so parents didn't have that to worry about. I supposed kids now stop believing much earlier xx

 

[skc22]

We are doing Santa. I'm not too bothered but my oh feels pretty strongly about it.

My parents didn't do Santa with my brother and myself. Christmas was still a magical time!! I was certainly not deprived if anything and my parents were not mean :/ I have never felt hard done by.