With my first pregnancy I was very excited. I would talk to my bump all the time, and I honestly thought about being pregnant and having a baby constantly. I had a very early miscarriage at the end of last year, and am now pregnant for the third time. This pregnancy was planned, and we are having a girl which is what we both really wanted. My problem is I'm just not that excited this time around. I don't know if it's because my 2 year old keeps me very busy, or because I don't really need to buy anything, or maybe it's because I'm very scared of giving birth again. Is anybody else feeling this way?
Not feeling very excited about this baby.
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PurpleIvy44
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To be honest, yes I did at first. This baby was also planned but it happened so much quicker than I expected. I wanted a spring baby so I wanted to try in June/July but when AF didn't show in March I took a test and boom! I was pregnant and due in November. I should really count my blessings b/c I'm 38 with PCOS so it could have been a totally different story.
I then started to wonder if we were doing the right thing b/c our DD is really a great little girl and maybe one child is enough. People try to freak you out that the 2nd is going to be the opposite and terrible (real nice, huh?) Financially I started to worry that it would be a bit more expensive since they both will need daycare. All of the things swirled around my head my 1st trimester. Not to mention I was so sick the first 3 mos and had no symptoms the first time around.
Once I hit the 2nd trimester I started to come around. I was getting excited to think my DD is going to be a big sister and it's a girl so she'll have a sister, which I didn't have. We don't have to buy much at all either but I find that a blessing b/c it can get expensive. I worked it out with my boss so I can work from home 2 days a week, which will hugely impact our daycare costs.
I do worry about childbirth though. My water broke at 4 am and I never started contractions on my own. It took 25 hrs till she arrived and with DD at home now, I worry about leaving her. So that does still get to me but I am looking forward to meeting her.
I think it's quite common to feel that way and it's nothing to feel bad about. Our hormones are going crazy and we have little ones to run after. Since you don't have all that down time to focus on your pregnancy I think it does take a bit away from the excitement. I hope all goes well for you and you future DD!
I then started to wonder if we were doing the right thing b/c our DD is really a great little girl and maybe one child is enough. People try to freak you out that the 2nd is going to be the opposite and terrible (real nice, huh?) Financially I started to worry that it would be a bit more expensive since they both will need daycare. All of the things swirled around my head my 1st trimester. Not to mention I was so sick the first 3 mos and had no symptoms the first time around.
Once I hit the 2nd trimester I started to come around. I was getting excited to think my DD is going to be a big sister and it's a girl so she'll have a sister, which I didn't have. We don't have to buy much at all either but I find that a blessing b/c it can get expensive. I worked it out with my boss so I can work from home 2 days a week, which will hugely impact our daycare costs.
I do worry about childbirth though. My water broke at 4 am and I never started contractions on my own. It took 25 hrs till she arrived and with DD at home now, I worry about leaving her. So that does still get to me but I am looking forward to meeting her.
I think it's quite common to feel that way and it's nothing to feel bad about. Our hormones are going crazy and we have little ones to run after. Since you don't have all that down time to focus on your pregnancy I think it does take a bit away from the excitement. I hope all goes well for you and you future DD!
tigerlilly
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Hi hunni I am the same. I had 3 losses last year. I think it's a self protection thing and not wanting to be hurt. I'm taking it one day at a time and trying not to worry too much.
aley28
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This is my third baby - but fourth pregnancy. It took me nearly 3 years to convince my husband to have a third child, and then when he finally came around, it just happened so fast. First he agreed to the baby, then he wanted to immediately TTC. I delayed it a bit so we could have an epic vacation without kids, so I could drink and enjoy the week. But then we started TTC immediately when we got home and I got pregnant on the 3rd cycle - when I expected it to take closer to a year, like the other 2 did.
In less than six months I went from 'I'm never having anymore kids' to "pregnant on purpose" and it REALLY took me a while to wrap my head around it. Then I was so sick with morning sickness, and hormonal and... yeah. I was not nearly as excited for this pregnancy as I wanted to be, and that made me feel so guilty.
I started coming around about 16 weeks or so, I'd say - truly getting excited about it all. Before that I could at least act like I was excited, but really I was just sick - and so over vomiting.
I don't know what caused the switch, but once I started feeling better in general, I felt more excited about the pregnancy. I was still a bit depressed for a few more weeks because my pelvis was giving me fits - but I'm seeing a physio now and I'm just thoroughly happy to be pregnant and SO excited to meet her.
Be gentle with yourself - its not bad to feel the way you feel, and you'll come around. Having older children does make pregnancy harder to cope with, and it definitely makes it harder to think about the pregnancy as toddlers are so demanding for attention.
It was much easier to be excited after the anatomy scan was over with and I could relax about the baby's health.
In less than six months I went from 'I'm never having anymore kids' to "pregnant on purpose" and it REALLY took me a while to wrap my head around it. Then I was so sick with morning sickness, and hormonal and... yeah. I was not nearly as excited for this pregnancy as I wanted to be, and that made me feel so guilty.
I started coming around about 16 weeks or so, I'd say - truly getting excited about it all. Before that I could at least act like I was excited, but really I was just sick - and so over vomiting.
I don't know what caused the switch, but once I started feeling better in general, I felt more excited about the pregnancy. I was still a bit depressed for a few more weeks because my pelvis was giving me fits - but I'm seeing a physio now and I'm just thoroughly happy to be pregnant and SO excited to meet her.
Be gentle with yourself - its not bad to feel the way you feel, and you'll come around. Having older children does make pregnancy harder to cope with, and it definitely makes it harder to think about the pregnancy as toddlers are so demanding for attention.
It was much easier to be excited after the anatomy scan was over with and I could relax about the baby's health.
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I was similar until I got a decent bump and felt more positive movements. With DS we lost 4 before him so once we got to safe stage everything was exciting......
This time baby wasn't planned and came out of the blue while on the pill (taking it religiously I might add). I wouldn't change it for the world regardless after so many issues... But it took until hearing a good string hb and feeling baby to feel closer.
I think sometimes it just takes time. It's nice to you're not alone though xxx
This time baby wasn't planned and came out of the blue while on the pill (taking it religiously I might add). I wouldn't change it for the world regardless after so many issues... But it took until hearing a good string hb and feeling baby to feel closer.
I think sometimes it just takes time. It's nice to you're not alone though xxx
PurpleIvy44
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That's a great idea. Lord knows we do so much that it is hard to find time for ourselves. Feeling the baby kick is a definitely a huge plus to kick start some excitement.
Keza
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Im going through this at the moment too. Ive had such a horrible pregnancy so far that is continuing to not get better even though im now 14 weeks. Im completely disconnected from this pregnancy and try not to think about it much. Im not looking after myself and hate being pregnant. I didn't enjoy it much with my son. But this time I despise It even more. Then feel guilty for having such thoughts.
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I can relate to this I have a toddler he is my world and I love him to bits and DH wanted to TTC so I agreed thinking it would take ages as it did with my son and we dtd a lot less since having him due to being tired etc etc anyway 2nd cycle in and only dtd once I was pregnant a total shocker 
I was so sick this time around (I am still on anti sickness meds) and I didn't connect to this baby really until my 20 week scan when we found out the gender and now I can call her by name and get excited about buying pink things
But I was the same with #1 all I thought about was being pregnant etc but I do not have the time now to focus on pregnancy with a 17 month old and working full time - I do try to make sure I have some bump cuddles and focus on her tho in some quiet down time even if it is just when I am going to sleep or strangely enough when I pop to the toilet at work
I now cannot wait to meet her and I am almost wishing pregnancy away but not this last special months I have with just my son
You will get there don't be hard on yourself
I was so sick this time around (I am still on anti sickness meds) and I didn't connect to this baby really until my 20 week scan when we found out the gender and now I can call her by name and get excited about buying pink things
But I was the same with #1 all I thought about was being pregnant etc but I do not have the time now to focus on pregnancy with a 17 month old and working full time - I do try to make sure I have some bump cuddles and focus on her tho in some quiet down time even if it is just when I am going to sleep or strangely enough when I pop to the toilet at work
I now cannot wait to meet her and I am almost wishing pregnancy away but not this last special months I have with just my son
You will get there
don't be hard on yourself
Mrs_Bump
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I think it's normal. It's hard to find time to think with a toddler. I've also got nothing ready for this one. I'm happy she's here but it's not like number one where I could tell you how many weeks I was at the drop of a hat and exactly where the baby was developmentally.
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