Not putting fathers name on the birth certificate?

[xolily]

I was watching Jeremy Kyle this morning and there was a girl on there who was patently in love with the FOB (who didn't want to be with her) but said his name wasn't on their sons birth certificate cos he didn't "deserve it". IMO she was just being spiteful and immature (from what we heard on the show). Is it just me and jezza who think that this is not about "deserving" or "showing you can be a good dad" before you are put on the birth certificate.. surely it's a RIGHT? IMO if you know who the FOB is, you should put him on the birth certificate.

What do you all think?

My opinion at the moment is that the only reason for not putting FOB on the birth certificate should be that you don't know who it is. If you REALLY don't want FOB on birth certificate, I feel it should be down to some sort of "higher power" to decide - look at the facts, reasons why etc. I really don't believe mums should just be able to make the decision to not name their childs fathers for whatever reason.. how would we feel if dads could do it?

 

[Lightworker]

Yeah I agree. All FOBs should be on the certificate regardless of any issues between mom and FOB. Children have a right to know who the father is.

 

[moomin_troll]

my dad is a scum bag who doesnt even think im his and my mum still put his name down because hes my father!

its rediculas the amount of stupid girls u get on jeremy kyle who do things like this for no good reason.

i do believe a fathers name shud be on the birth cert, but saying that if the man wont go with u and ur not married theres not much the mother can do

 

[Nibblenic]

I think in that siuation it is pretty simple that yes if you know who the FOB is and you are not putting the name down to maintain some sort of power it is wrong

However its not just as simple as that anymore. For example we have a family friend who is infertile. So to create thier child they used a sperm donnor as he had literally nothing in there. Now they as a couple know as these things are no longer private who that donor is. However I dont think he should be on the childs birth certificate. Infact I think it should be the 'dad'. Which I think goes for all 'annoyamous' sperm donations.

There is also the case where a mother may know the father but he may not be willing to come to the registaration of the birth. What do you do in that case?

I also think it is wrong that a the husband is presumed father and doesnt HAVE to be in attendace at the registration either.

I also think it is wrong that the Birth certificate gives the man on it automatic rights to decisions regaurding the child if for example the relationship has broken down or never really started. Such as gaining a passport etc. I think these 'rights' be they real or perceieved and missunderstood are a huge factor in women avoiding putting thier Lo on the BC.

I think if concieved in the conventional way every child has the right to know who thier father is. However if concieved through donation I think the second parent should be able to be on the BC and the genetic father remain unknown if that is the couples wish

 

[Blah11]

Hm, i dunno. If I had a FOB who wasn't interested in my pregnancy and had no intention of seeing my baby, no, he would not be going on the birth certificate. It takes a lot more than DNA to be a father IMO, even more to be a daddy.

 

[summer rain]

I think all dads should be named on the birth certificate, maybe in some cases a dad who would have grown up and taken part in his child's life more had he felt a part of things that bit more, ends up pushed out forever because he feels no connection to that child because he isn't named on the BC? Xx

 

[KaceysMummy]

It shouldn't be up to the mum what she wants to put on the birth certificate.
Its a factual document that is infact her childs - her child deserves to have a birth certificate with the whole truth on it - that includes her dads name too.
People can change.

 

[AppleBlossom]

It depends. If FOB is interested in your pregnancy and the baby when it's born then yes, they should be on the BC. If they don't want to know then I don't think they should be. It takes more than a 2 minute shag to make someone a father imo and you have to earn that title

 

[anna matronic]

Evan's dad isn't on his birth certificate. I have no problem with him going on it. We are not married, therefore he has to be present and he wouldn't so he didn't go on it. It doesn't bother me. I will still tell Evan about his dad regardless of this.

 

[Nibblenic]

It doesnt even say father on a BC anymore though does it. It doesnt make them a Dad. They have a two minute shag, they show up for 10 minutes to sign a document saying that this child shares thier genetics and that they are part responisble for creating its life. Its more for historical records than anything else.

I totally agree that you have to earn the title of father/dad but that has nothing to do with whether they are on the BC or not. That is to be decided by the child over the course of their lives and at any point in thier lives.

 

[KaceysMummy]

Some mums can be just as bad as the dads, well especially the kind that would flaunt their personally lives on the Jeremy Kyle show...
A mother doesn't have to earn the title she just automatically is - however they too may not even deserve it.
But I do think just cause their name is there doesn't mean they get the 'title' and just because its not doesn't take away the fact that he is a dad...

 

[anna matronic]

It doesnt even say father on a BC anymore though does it. It doesnt make them a Dad. They have a two minute shag, they show up for 10 minutes to sign a document saying that this child shares thier genetics and that they are part responisble for creating its life. Its more for historical records than anything else.

I totally agree that you have to earn the title of father/dad but that has nothing to do with whether they are on the BC or not. That is to be decided by the child over the course of their lives and at any point in thier lives.

There are 2 types of BC. The free one with basic name, dob and place of birth and then the full one that you pay for with both parents details on it x

 

[Nibblenic]

It doesnt even say father on a BC anymore though does it. It doesnt make them a Dad. They have a two minute shag, they show up for 10 minutes to sign a document saying that this child shares thier genetics and that they are part responisble for creating its life. Its more for historical records than anything else.

I totally agree that you have to earn the title of father/dad but that has nothing to do with whether they are on the BC or not. That is to be decided by the child over the course of their lives and at any point in thier lives.

There are 2 types of BC. The free one with basic name, dob and place of birth and then the full one that you pay for with both parents details on it x

Still says parents one and two though doesnt it and not mother and father? Thats what it says on my Los one anyway

 

[lou_w34]

My LO's father is not on the BC.

She is 16 months old and he has seen her a grand total of two times, and each time he saw her had a year apart inbetween visits.

My situation is kind of different, as he wouldnt go with me to sign it, but im not at all ashamed to admit that i am glad about it. He had the chance to go on it, he blew it. Now i have full responsibility for my daughter, i dont need his permission for anything, and too be honest, why should i need a mans permission who doesnt even see his daughter??

Yes my LO's BC is hers, but she will no who her dad is, because i will tell her, and if she decides when the time comes that she wants to meet him, then i will happily help her to do this.

I can completley understand why some people do this, i dont agree with it when its done for 'power' reasons, that is obviously wrong, but their are many reasons why some women choose not too, its not because they are selfish, but they genuinley believe they are doing what is right for their child. My daughter is not going to suffer for it, she doesnt need a piece of paper to tell her who her father is.

xx

 

[Laura2919]

Well if FOB doesnt want anything to do with LO and they dont turn up to the registry office they cant be put on the BC anyway, I do believe though that all fathers should be on the childs birth certificate for the child when they are older.

 

[annawrigley]

Some mums can be just as bad as the dads, well especially the kind that would flaunt their personally lives on the Jeremy Kyle show...
A mother doesn't have to earn the title she just automatically is - however they too may not even deserve it.
But I do think just cause their name is there doesn't mean they get the 'title' and just because its not doesn't take away the fact that he is a dad...

This!
I watched the JK and this is exactly what I was thinking. We don't have to earn the title of mother before we are allowed to be documented as one! She moodily agreed to put him on it, but I bet she won't.

 

[krissie1234uk]

Doesn't being on the BC give a father parental responsibility? So they have a say in making decisions regarding the child. If this is the case, then why would you hand someone this responsibility who doesn't want to know your child.
Surely if the father doesn't want to know the child and wants nothing to do with them, they won't want to be on the BC anyway. It's not just for your child to know who their father is in my opinion. If it was, then fair enough all fathers should be on there but as it isn't, there are situation where the sole care giver should be able to make that choice.

 

[CharlieKeys]

I hate it when this is done out of spite! My OH isn't on his daughter's birth certificate and when he was talking about it he was like 'yeah I'm on it' then when we had to go do Stephen's I was like well what do we have to do? He said 'how am I supposed to know, I didn't go with [mum's name]" - so then this got into the whole conversation about he can't get put on there without turning up etc etc! He wanted to go but she never told him the time or date she went! (bitch!)

There's no way I would not put the FOB's name on the certificate - he's their dad and unless I wasn't 100% sure who their dad was then there's no excuse for it imo.

 

[TwilightAgain]

I think both parents should be on the birth certificate, every child deserves to know who their parents are. As someone has already pointed out, a mother doesn't need to prove herself as one before its on the birth certificate, so why should the father?

You know what irritates me? Is those mothers who are only interested in their own rights and disregard the rights of the father. I'm not talking about mothers who have genuine reasons for keeping the fathers away. I mean like the women on Jeremy Kyle who won't have it on just because they don't like them, or because they've split up, that IMO is selfish.

Also I believe that the father also has to be present at the birth registry to have his name on the birth certificate, if he can't be bothered to show his face (unless having a legitimate reason) then the mother is quite within her rights to tell him where to shove it.

 

[ttc_lolly]

I don't think it's a right As a PP said, anyone can biologically be a father... if the man has shown an interest in the pregnancy and the child then yes, he shouldn't be denied his name on the BC. Same goes if it was the other way round.

I don't think not having the father's name is denying the child the truth on who their parents are - they can just take your word for it!