Not quite a teen but worried about telling parents

[ClaRav]

Hey, I hope I'm okay to post here, I'm 20.. is that too old for the teen pregnancy thread? I thought my post would best fit in here.. I used this a lot in my last pregnancy. I have a little boy who will be 27 months when this baby is born. I live with my partner and I'm about 13 weeks pregnant, waiting for 1st scan . . I'm just so scared to tell my parents I'm pregnant again. With my first my mum found my scan pic which was easy I didn't have to pluck up the courage. Now I don't live with her I don't know how to tell her. She was disappointed with me when she found out with my 1st.. I was in college applying for universities and I gave it all up (missed a lot of college as I was really ill) etc. . Now I'm a full time mummy and I love it I'm just struggling to get too excited about this pregnancy because I'm worried about her reactions. We are not extremely close but she's always there sees my son often . Lends money if I need it.. just not very open with each other.. HELP?! LOL thanks girls x

 

[ClairAye]

Yes, there are a few girls in their 20's, or at least there used to be!

I told my mum face-to-face that we were expecting again, I did it on the walk home so she couldn't lose it haha, she was disappointed for all of a few days then got over it, it was a million times easier than the first time! My son was just 11 months old at the time.

Congratulations too! I'm Clair, I'll be 20 in a couple of months and I'm a single mum to my 2 year old Jason and 8 month old, Lily

 

[nic18]

Congrats!
I'm Nicola 19 & mummy to a 3 month old boy

I think like PP said with her mum, she will be disappointed for a few days and will come around, she will just have to! Your having this baby weather she likes it or not Good Luck x

 

[723Hope]

Hey, my name is Amanda. I am eighteen years old, and I just found out I am pregnant with my first. While my fiance, who is seventeen, is in love with the idea, I am beyond worried. I am more worried about my family's reactions than anything else. I am a freshmen in college so I hope to remain in college after my child is born.

My family has always been very proud of me. They have also always warned be about the dangers of having sex, getting pregnant, and getting married young. I am so terrified of disappointing them because they don't even know about the engagement, yet.

I hope you can figure it out, and I hope I do too :/.

 

[lisaalove]

I 100% understand. Im 19 almost 20 my son is currently four and I am 5w4d im going to alaska in a week to see my parents I just moved state at the begining of the year. I feel like the small bond I have with them is going to deminish when I tell them like I will be banished or something then again thats pretty much what happened when I was 15 and had my son they did get over it and realized it helped me more than ended up harming me. The big problem is ill be there for a month and staying with them the whole time. I really hope the signs dont point themselves out before I can get up the nerve to tell them..

 

[hollybb]

I totally understand you. I'm a mother and the best advice I can give you is not to be scared. She's your mom and she is the only person who will understand you first. Here's another idea, how about telling her over the phone if you are really not comfortable telling her face to face. Anyway congratulations on your 2nd baby

 

[Foogirl]

what's important here is, do YOu feel you made the right decision to give up college and Uni to be a mum first? If YOU know you made the right decision, and YOU are happy with your situation, then rejoice in your pregnancy and look forward with all the same hopes you had the last time. You are still young yet and maybe once your children are both at school, you can look in to applying to college or Uni again. It's totally do-able. You'll be 25 and starting college, what the hell is wrong with that? Maybe your mums problem is that in her day once you had children you had pretty much closed the door to education and career, and she doesn't want that for you. It is different now though, you still have all the opportunities you would have had a couple of years ago. Maybe explain to her any plans you have for the future and she'll calm down. If she loves you really, she'll be happy to see you happy.

 

[skyesmom]

...and back in the day, having a Uni degree really meant having a better job or better chances for a stable employment with a better paycheck... nowadays it is absolutely a no guarantee and now way too many people struggle with being overqualified for the position so no one wants to employ them (as technically you'd had to pay them more for the degree they have).

and the whole race with the time to finish Uni as quick as possible also makes little sense in the world of today. maybe if your mom is scared of these things, remind her that the things have changed.

it took a couple of years to my parents to notice how the employment market has changed; they saw it when us and the children of their friends started looking for jobs... and they were pretty shocked. we all have at least a Master degree in my family (several with PhDs), so i speak out of an experience in those, formerly highly proficient titles that used to land you any kind of job before.

 

[ClaRav]

Thank you for all the lovely replies. Makes me feel a lot better!

Well a few days ago my mum came round.. later that day I got a message from her asking if I'm having another baby!! I've got the start of a bump so she must have guessed. I finally said yes last night.. All over Facebook messaging haha. She hasn't replied to that but has messaged about non relevant stuff so I'm guessing she's not very happy but hey what can I do .

It makes me a bit angry to be honest. When my children grow up I will raise them knowing that they never have to be scared about telling me anything! No matter what it is, I want them to be able to tell me without being worried about my reaction. I am their mum and I would want to be the first person they can go to! I will guide them, give them my advice when they need it but never ever judge them or be disappointed in their decisions if that is what they want.

It's annoying because my mum is the only reason I'm still living iin this city.. I would feel bad about moving my son away from her she loves him so much but I am beginning to think about me too.

Sorry for the rant...

I will update when I know what her reaction is. I'm unsure at the moment but pretty sure she's not happy haha.

Thanks ladies for lovely replies x