Chel
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I have PND support group every friday, and I'm going tomorrow. I'm there because Jasper stopped breathing at 1 week old for a few minutes so I'm suffering from anxiety more than anything.
Part of the program involves having the babies/children in care of 2 childcare staff for the 2 hours that the support group goes for, the babies are just in the next room, we're free to leave the group to check on them, see a 'free' (well.. we did pay for the councilling itself... so I assume that cost was included) service provided so that we have the oportunity to not be distracted by the bubs while we deal with 'stuff'.
Last week was the first week I was ready to leave him with someone else, I was checking in frequently, when I heard ANY cry I'd pop my head in, just in case it was him... at the first break (at 1 hour) I went in and settled him to sleep in his pram and then left him, asking them to bring him into me if he wakes and that was fine.
The session ran a little over time, I actually got QUITE emotional towards the end, I hadn't noticed the time at all (as its a group councilling session, I'm not watching the clock!) and over that hour all the other babies had been crying and we being held by their mums in the group.
I could hear Jasper crying a little, but I was really needing to finish what I was saying, so I didn't jump up, knowing someone else was there for him. When I could hear him SCREAMING in the end and I got up and went to him.... and... the room was empty! The carers had packed up, turned off the lights and left my baby on his own! I couldn't believe it! I was so shocked and upset I nearly cried (mind you, I was already emotional about the session) and I even looked around for the girls but they'd totally left the building!!! I know I was only a few meters away, but they could have told me they were leaving him!!! I suspect they forgot he was there, as he was asleep, and all the other babies were back with their mums!
I feel ripped off now, because I really wanted to be able to leave him for that time so I could have some 'me' time to deal with some stuff, so that I can be a better mummy, but I just cant trust these girls now!!!
I'm also really emotional about it all, so that doesn't help... I'm thinking to tell the facillitator, as I think it would be inappropriate for me to directly talk to these girls... as... I'd probably end up telling them off too harshly.
But even if I tell the facillitator, and she talks to the girls, I still cant see me wanting to leave him again.
I dont know what to do... I think I mostly needed to vent that, its been upsetting me all week!
Part of the program involves having the babies/children in care of 2 childcare staff for the 2 hours that the support group goes for, the babies are just in the next room, we're free to leave the group to check on them, see a 'free' (well.. we did pay for the councilling itself... so I assume that cost was included) service provided so that we have the oportunity to not be distracted by the bubs while we deal with 'stuff'.
Last week was the first week I was ready to leave him with someone else, I was checking in frequently, when I heard ANY cry I'd pop my head in, just in case it was him... at the first break (at 1 hour) I went in and settled him to sleep in his pram and then left him, asking them to bring him into me if he wakes and that was fine.
The session ran a little over time, I actually got QUITE emotional towards the end, I hadn't noticed the time at all (as its a group councilling session, I'm not watching the clock!) and over that hour all the other babies had been crying and we being held by their mums in the group.
I could hear Jasper crying a little, but I was really needing to finish what I was saying, so I didn't jump up, knowing someone else was there for him. When I could hear him SCREAMING in the end and I got up and went to him.... and... the room was empty! The carers had packed up, turned off the lights and left my baby on his own! I couldn't believe it! I was so shocked and upset I nearly cried (mind you, I was already emotional about the session) and I even looked around for the girls but they'd totally left the building!!! I know I was only a few meters away, but they could have told me they were leaving him!!! I suspect they forgot he was there, as he was asleep, and all the other babies were back with their mums!
I feel ripped off now, because I really wanted to be able to leave him for that time so I could have some 'me' time to deal with some stuff, so that I can be a better mummy, but I just cant trust these girls now!!!
I'm also really emotional about it all, so that doesn't help... I'm thinking to tell the facillitator, as I think it would be inappropriate for me to directly talk to these girls... as... I'd probably end up telling them off too harshly.
But even if I tell the facillitator, and she talks to the girls, I still cant see me wanting to leave him again.
I dont know what to do... I think I mostly needed to vent that, its been upsetting me all week!