not sure I dare even ask it...

[Indigo77]

I'd feel gutted, incomplete, unfulfilled and have a HUGE feeling of regret and I'd be scared about the future when I'm ancient and on my own and who would I leave my millions too.......!!! God I sound so insecure and I'm not really, I have all the things that you have in all your posts, but somehow (and this is going to sound awful bad) they just don't seem quite enough at the moment...... But we ARE GOING TO BE MUMMIES!!!!!!!xXx

aw jax...u're breaking my heart....

 

[NorthStar]

Well I had kind of thought when I left my awful first marriage that I WOULD be childless, it's only my second partner who has put it back on the table for me, in the past year or so.

I was all set with a lovely house, great job with tons of travel, pets, nice holidays, all that kind of good stuff - and now the goalposts are moved. Someone I love thinks we're great together and could make a nice family, and I'd do anything to make him happy... Also I know my mum would love to be a grandma.

So the baby thing is actually Plan B for me, and we've only just started this TTC journey, I have trouble actually visualising what my life would be like a baby in it. Because for so many years with my selfish ex this was not an option, I just got on with other things.

 

[Jax41]

I'd feel gutted, incomplete, unfulfilled and have a HUGE feeling of regret and I'd be scared about the future when I'm ancient and on my own and who would I leave my millions too.......!!! God I sound so insecure and I'm not really, I have all the things that you have in all your posts, but somehow (and this is going to sound awful bad) they just don't seem quite enough at the moment...... But we ARE GOING TO BE MUMMIES!!!!!!!xXx

aw jax...u're breaking my heart....

I've just read it back, it was a bit of the raw version must admit but that's how it is.....not prepared to consider a future yet without our . Thanks for the hugs Indigo!!!

 

[onmymind17]

I'd feel gutted, incomplete, unfulfilled and have a HUGE feeling of regret and I'd be scared about the future when I'm ancient and on my own and who would I leave my millions too.......!!! God I sound so insecure and I'm not really, I have all the things that you have in all your posts, but somehow (and this is going to sound awful bad) they just don't seem quite enough at the moment...... But we ARE GOING TO BE MUMMIES!!!!!!!xXx

aw jax...u're breaking my heart....

I've just read it back, it was a bit of the raw version must admit but that's how it is.....not prepared to consider a future yet without our . Thanks for the hugs Indigo!!!

Awwww, this breaks my heart, i wish i could give you your dream right now!!

 

[onmymind17]

Well i guess for me I never really thought about having children, then i met my dh, and he really wants kids, well then i caught the fever of it. We have struggled for 3 years, with 4 losses, and it breaks my heart that i cant give my DH what he mosts wants. I guess i am kind of already in the stage of its never going to happen. As for us, we have decided that if we cannot have a bfp then we will go on cruises, and maybe to Hawaii, and do things and buy things that we would not be able to do with a child. It does not make it any easier, but what can you do, i love my DH so very much, and i am so thankful and blessed to have him and my wonderful dog in our lives. I could not adopt, i know that sounds bad, but my dad passed away 2 years ago and he meant everything to me, and i feel like if i adopted, or used donar eggs that my dad would be lost, am i making any sense?

 

[Indigo77]

I was all set with a lovely house, great job with tons of travel, pets, nice holidays, all that kind of good stuff - and now the goalposts are moved.
So the baby thing is actually Plan B for me, and we've only just started this TTC journey, I have trouble actually visualising what my life would be like a baby in it.

yep, same here...

 

[Indigo77]

I could not adopt, i know that sounds bad, but my dad passed away 2 years ago and he meant everything to me, and i feel like if i adopted, or used donar eggs that my dad would be lost, am i making any sense?

i always wanted to adopt until my dad passed away almost 4 years ago and since then i feel like i want to have one naturally...to get a piece of him back, somehow...

still want to adopt, as well, though

 

[Baby4MJ]

Well i guess for me I never really thought about having children, then i met my dh, and he really wants kids, well then i caught the fever of it. We have struggled for 3 years, with 4 losses, and it breaks my heart that i cant give my DH what he mosts wants. I guess i am kind of already in the stage of its never going to happen. As for us, we have decided that if we cannot have a bfp then we will go on cruises, and maybe to Hawaii, and do things and buy things that we would not be able to do with a child. It does not make it any easier, but what can you do, i love my DH so very much, and i am so thankful and blessed to have him and my wonderful dog in our lives. I could not adopt, i know that sounds bad, but my dad passed away 2 years ago and he meant everything to me, and i feel like if i adopted, or used donar eggs that my dad would be lost, am i making any sense?

It's as if I wrote this myself, OMM. It's been 3 years since I lost my dad, and you've summed it up perfectly how I feel about him as well (you and I have a lot in common across the forums where our dads are concerned I think ). I feel so selfish about it sometimes, but adoption and donor eggs are not on the table for DH and me either. I want to look into the face of my child and see my DH's eyes...or see him or her lift an eyebrow at me the way my dad used to when he thought I was being crazy ("The Belushi Brow" my family calls it - both my nieces can do this and it never fails to make me think of my dad every time they do it https://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee185/syatherley/Smileys/Smiley-YahooRaisedEyebrow.gif). I want to see my dad's mannerisms and sense of humor live on...so as selfish as it may seem to others, that's how DH and I both feel. We want our child to be part of us and to carry on parts of the ones we love.

 

[sarahincanada]

I could not adopt, i know that sounds bad, but my dad passed away 2 years ago and he meant everything to me, and i feel like if i adopted, or used donar eggs that my dad would be lost, am i making any sense?

i always wanted to adopt until my dad passed away almost 4 years ago and since then i feel like i want to have one naturally...to get a piece of him back, somehow...

still want to adopt, as well, though

awwww I know exactly how you feel....my dad passed away 8 years ago and Im still devastated, having a baby without him around is going to be sooooo hard. I got married without him being there and that was bad enough. I hope to have a boy so I can give him my dads name as his middle name.

 

[sarahincanada]

I was all set with a lovely house, great job with tons of travel, pets, nice holidays, all that kind of good stuff - and now the goalposts are moved.
So the baby thing is actually Plan B for me, and we've only just started this TTC journey, I have trouble actually visualising what my life would be like a baby in it.

yep, same here...

yes me too....I sometimes panic about how it will change my life. but I know I will love it as Im close to my family. my mum tells me: look at how much you love your pets and multiply that by a million. and I love my pets a lot

 

[Indigo77]

I hope to have a boy so I can give him my dads name as his middle name.

same here...

 

[Baby4MJ]

I hope to have a boy so I can give him my dads name as his middle name.

We're planning to do the same if it's a boy...and we've managed to re-work my dad's middle name into a girl's name if we have a girl...

p.s...Love your mantra!

 

[Macwooly]

My dad passed away when I was 16 and my brother used his name as a middle name for his second son which whilst it was lovely also really upset me as I had said since my dad died I wanted to use it.

But DH and I are agreed we will still be using my dad's name as a middle name for our first born son if we're blessed with a boy.

If it is a girl the name we have planned is my dad's step-grandmother's name and my dad adored her and felt she was more of a mother than his own as she raised him from the age of 4 to 16 years old.

I do hope everyone gets their much deserved BFP and sticky beans

 

[NorthStar]

I was all set with a lovely house, great job with tons of travel, pets, nice holidays, all that kind of good stuff - and now the goalposts are moved.
So the baby thing is actually Plan B for me, and we've only just started this TTC journey, I have trouble actually visualising what my life would be like a baby in it.

yep, same here...

yes me too....I sometimes panic about how it will change my life. but I know I will love it as Im close to my family. my mum tells me: look at how much you love your pets and multiply that by a million. and I love my pets a lot

Yeah I love my doggie, so I expect it will be like that only more so. Can't picture actually having one though, have been forced to discount it by my circumstances for quite a few years now, so can't make the leap of imagination required as yet. Course that maybe an element of self protection, I don't want to want something I can't have, hmmm.

 

[Jax41]

Oh my feel even more sad now! I lost my lovely Dad only last year and it filled me with complete panic that he would never see, hold, kiss my baby(and he loved little babies)....now my Mum seems to have filled that spot....

Baby4MJ and Onmymind, I agree I know it sounds selfish not to adopt but apart from the fact that I know DH wouldn't consider it, I want a mini me/mini him....who we are and where we're from to live on through them....

All your 'Daddy' stories are wonderful, they really are the first and most important men in our lives aren't they?

BIG hugs girls, I know EXACTLY how you're all feeling

 

[dachsundmom]

On my feel even more sad now! I lost my lovely Dad only last year and it filled me with complete panic that he would never see, hold, kiss my baby(and he loved little babies)....now my Mum seems to have filled that spot....

Baby4MJ and Onmymind, I agree I know it sounds selfish not to adopt but apart from the fact that I know DH wouldn't consider it, I want a mini me/mini him....who we are and where we're from to live on through them....

All your 'Daddy' stories are wonderful, they really are the first and most important men in our lives aren't they?

BIG hugs girls, I know EXACTLY how you're all feeling

I don't think it's selfish at all not to choose adoption, and I am adopted! Lol. Parenting is a very personal decision and however one does it is entirely up to them. My mom always knew she wanted to adopt; she grew up seeing pictures of the Korean war and decided that one day she would adopt a Korean daughter, and she did. I feel guilty that DH and I haven't looked into adoption more, but we're not sure that it's the right decision for us.

 

[Macwooly]

I don't think anyone should feel guilty for the decisions they make regarding becoming a parent, not becoming a parent, adopting or not adopting

DH & I have discussed adoption a lot as we were warned in 2009 that without IVF we may not get a BFP and we are not candidates for IVF on NHS. We have made the decision not to pay for IVF, not to use sperm donors or donor eggs and after looking into adoption and realise it is not the right option for us.

It may seem selfish but I want a biological child that is me and DH and if that doesn't happen naturally then we have to live with that and the heartache that will bring with it.

 

[Baby4MJ]

My dad passed away when I was 16 and my brother used his name as a middle name for his second son which whilst it was lovely also really upset me as I had said since my dad died I wanted to use it.

But DH and I are agreed we will still be using my dad's name as a middle name for our first born son if we're blessed with a boy.

If it is a girl the name we have planned is my dad's step-grandmother's name and my dad adored her and felt she was more of a mother than his own as she raised him from the age of 4 to 16 years old.

I do hope everyone gets their much deserved BFP and sticky beans

I think even if your brother used your dad's name it is perfectly fine to also use your dad's name for your own child. Three of my aunts all gave their sons the same middle name to carry on the family name...one aunt has three sons and she gave all three the same middle name! If DH and I have a daughter, we will give her the same middle name my eldest niece has (which is also my maternal grandmother's middle name). I think it's lovely to want to carry your family names on in your children, I'm glad you've decided to do so

 

[Desperado167]

My dad passed away when I was 16 and my brother used his name as a middle name for his second son which whilst it was lovely also really upset me as I had said since my dad died I wanted to use it.

But DH and I are agreed we will still be using my dad's name as a middle name for our first born son if we're blessed with a boy.

If it is a girl the name we have planned is my dad's step-grandmother's name and my dad adored her and felt she was more of a mother than his own as she raised him from the age of 4 to 16 years old.

I do hope everyone gets their much deserved BFP and sticky beans

Awk Hun,that is so lovelyAnd don't forget u are having twins,so maybe a boy and a girl

 

[Desperado167]

I don't think anyone should feel guilty for the decisions they make regarding becoming a parent, not becoming a parent, adopting or not adopting

DH & I have discussed adoption a lot as we were warned in 2009 that without IVF we may not get a BFP and we are not candidates for IVF on NHS. We have made the decision not to pay for IVF, not to use sperm donors or donor eggs and after looking into adoption and realise it is not the right option for us.

It may seem selfish but I want a biological child that is me and DH and if that doesn't happen naturally then we have to live with that and the heartache that will bring with it.

And u will get your own,just hold tight,