Now I feel like a bad Mum

[Serene123]

Read the quote in my sig

All mums are different. We all have different wants and needs. The sooner we stop caring if anyone is judging us the better!

The fact you even posted this thread shows you are an amazing mummy. No worries!

 

[binxyboo]

Daniel was about 2 weeks old when we left him with my mum for the first time!
Hubby and I went out for the evening.

 

[PresqueVu]

As everyone is saying, you are allowed to need a break every so often! I've done this a few times due to my DH parents and a very good friend. I think it makes you a better mum overall as sometimes you just need a bit of distance to appreciate them

 

[Sam9kids]

wish someone would have my lot once a month lol!

 

[Buffy71]

Silly monkey! You're a great mum!

At somepoint everyone will realise that every mum and baby is different and will stop jumping all over each other thinking that one way is the right way. Then we can all stop feeling guilty over things that arent worth worrying about and realise what a great job we are doing in loving our little munchkins.

You're fab - dont even think about it.
xxxx

 

[Happy Hudson]

Oh bless you are not a bad mum at all.

My mum takes my 6 week old one night a week so we can catch up on some sleep.
It means I can recharge my batteries and be more awake and happier when I pick Paige up in the morning. xxxxx

Take no notice of anyone who says you are a bad mum xxx

 

[annawrigley]

Well, to each their own I guess, but I agree with the others, I hardly think once or twice a month makes you a bad mum. Everyone has different opinions on the matter, but how I feel about it is, before I'm a mum, I'm me - and I have to take care of me before I can take care of my son. My MIL has my little boy once a week. That one time a week I do things for me - paint my nails, catch up on things that need to be done, SLEEP, etc. When my son comes back home I feel energised, and I feel like I'm a better mum. Now granted some women can go 24/7 looking after their children. And that's fine, but again, everyone is different and I think it's really horrible for someone, especially family, to chastise you for having a bit of time for yourself.

Beginning in October, my son is going to also be in nursery 2 additional days a week so that I can do my final year at university. Again, don't think that makes me neglectful or selfish, quite the opposite actually. I'm continuing in education so that I can provide the best for my son.

aaaaaaaww your avatar is precious!

 

[RJsMum]

Why should you feel bad for having an occasional night off? Like a PP said, it's not like you're leaving LO every night to go out clubbing until ungodly hours.

I haven't left my LO for any extensive amount of time, but it's due to several factors. He is a pretty high-needs baby so I would feel guilty in a way putting that on anyone else. I think it would be a different story if he were more laid-back. The other reason being that I want to be with him all the time...and that's mommy-clinginess on my part, sadly.

But I don't think it makes you love your child any less nor does it make you a bad mom. Go out and enjoy yourself and ignore anyone who gives you crap for it - joking or not.

 

[haylie_bbz]

kiera stays at my mums every weekend she would stay at OHs mums 1 night a week but she never has bothered after saying she will have her overnight she spoils our plans to go out for a meal or watch a film

 

[MrsT&Ben]

I must be a terrible mummy! My little man stayed at his aunties house when he was 10 days old! We just couldnt function and needed some sleep. It was the best thing EVER! We havent looked back since. He's been looked after by his Granny (my mum) on numerous ocassions. I personally think that being the only person that looks after your baby can create a clingy baby and a depressed mummy.
You have to do whats right for you hun, dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

[SKATERBUN]

You deserve a night out once a month at least!

I only had my first night out last week when LO was 7 weeks old. I felt bad leaving her with my sis at her house for the first time and couldnt relax all evening. But it did us both good in the end. I got to let off some steam,have a break from the routine, and be my old self again (not mom!) and LO loved being with her aunty. She got to see her niece and play games with her.
It really helps their social development to be with other people, different faces and voices as they get bored so easily.
I would do it again and dont feel bad. I would feel worse leaving her with strangers (i/e nursery) but friends and family is cool. I would feel more guilty if she saw nobody but my face day in day out! LOL

 

[Hollys_Twinny]

I commented on a thread similar to this last week. I work part time and start at 6 am so save dragging Morgan out of bed at 4:30am he stays at my mums every weds night. He loves it, My mum has just as many toys and dvds as we do here, his face lights up whenever he see's my mum. So I dont see a problem with it. If my friends arrange a night out but OH has something planned my mum will have him then too which is usually every other weekend. Im making the most of it while Morgan is happy to stay over there and before I have another baby. I dont feel bad about it atall. Gettimg a bit of " me " time keeps me sane and I dont think it reflects how good/ bad a mother I am. Some people dont have the option to have a break, others would just rather their LO's stay with them. I think everyone has different opinions on it. Each to their own. Dont feel bad hun xx

 

[SilasLove]

I hardly ever left my son anywhere - he has stayed with my cousin a handful of times overnight though. But other than that - he really is just with me and his father. And now we face the issue that he freaks out every single time we leave him anywhere because he is not familar with anyone. Its terrible, we cannot do anything. He is getting to the age where it is easier to let him stay places but he wants none of it.

So I think that there are negatives to each side of this. If you never let your child go anywhere or stay anywhere you face my situation, and then if you leave them too much people look down on you. But I think it sounds like you have a nice balance. I really do not think that is too much. I wish I would have done this more.

 

[XfairyhopesX]

I really don't wanna start an arguments, but I feel crap this morning. I just read another thread where mummies were saying how LO doesn't get looked after by anyone but them. It wasn't intended to upset ppl (and a good friend started the thread!!)

It's just Ben is looked after by my MIL maybe once a month (only for a lil while) and he has stayed out overnight twice with my mum so I could have a night out.....but now I feel bad for doing so, and think 'oh no I'm a bad mummy for not having him all the time'

My mum and sister constantly make digs at me for it. My sis didn't leave my nephew with anyone until he was gone 2 and she reminds me about it whenever he's out (even with OH). I think it's good for him to be used to other ppl, surroundings etc and I has in hospital a lot in his first few months so I had to get used to not being with him very quickly.

Sorry this is so pointless, I just feel awful.....is there anyone else out there like me??

i leave aiden at my mums angel i think folk who dont are too clingy.. dont shoot me just what i think its good for both of you to be apart sometimes its healthy xx

 

[sunshine114]

Don't worry about it! My lo is almost 3 weeks and we have already left him once with my mum and once with mil. Granted it was only an hour at a time so dh and I could go snc get him some more clothes, but I wouldn't hesitate to let my mum or mil look after him again. I would only leave him with them though.