Now I really feel like a failure.

[bostonblonde]

It's coming up on the one year anniversary of my first BFP, April 2010, and I'm not pregnant. AF came Friday. It was bad enough reaching my original due date in December. But coming up on the one year mark of finding out I was pregnant the first time is somehow even harder, because I still have nothing to show for it.

My first BFP came at the perfect time because it was my Dad's 60th and it was the best present in the world when I told him he was going to have his first grandchild.

Well it's one year later, and it's almost his birthday again, and not only do I not have a baby yet, but I'm not even pregnant. In fact not only do I have no baby, I have negative babies, because I have had 3 losses since that first BFP.

I have this real feeling of hopelessness and despair. My family is so small. My remaining grandparents are really old and will now most likely never meet their grandchild because precious time keeps passing with no result. They would have met him or her, if I had had my baby when planned. But it had to go wrong on me three times. Right now I can't even imagine ever having my own healthy baby in my arms. I can imagine getting pregnant easily, but I can't actually imagine that it will go right. Ever.

Anyone else reach the anniversaries of their first BFP and feel really depressed?

 

[gueyilla1985]

Hugs hun im so sorry. i have those bad days too

 

[Neversaynever]

Hun you're not a failure

I'm sorry for your losses, life sometimes deals a really crappy hand but you will get your forever baby.

I imagine it must be hard approaching dates, I've yet to get there and you have gone through MC three times. My heart goes out to you. Have you been referred to a specialist?

Hugs and be kind to yourself

XxX

 

[nattys]

I'm sorry you're feeling rubbish you are definately not a failure xx

 

[August79]

Sorry hun that you're feeling this way *hugs*

I'm approaching what should have been my due date and it's killing me. I wonder if maybe we would have had our little baby already. I'm not to the anniversary of my BFP but I wonder if I will be pregnant again by then. Everything is up in the air for me right now as far as wtt/ttc/ntnp.

I hope that you find peace of mind soon!!

 

[trixie79]

im so sorry,

im having the same battle with myself as my due date is soon. we are not failures....maybe slightly depressed!!!but certainly not failures.
xxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

You are not a failure, please please don't talk like that or think like that. Good things will happen for you, I know you can't see that now, but don't give up . I am so sorry for your losses , I know it hurts so so much , but you will be blessed one day, please believe that

 

[nicb26]

I'm so sorry Hun. Life is so unfair sometimes, but you are definitely not a failure.
Take care xx

 

[GiuliaM]

Hey hun...I'm kinda new here, but I saw this post and it made me think of my mommy. She always told me about her difficulties getting pg. She had 4 m/cs before my brother came along...and then she thought, 'well, that pregnancy was hard enough to get, doubt I'll have another'....then I came along when my bro was 8months and my mom was still breastfeeding him heavily. She has PSOS (or HAD it, I guess...) and had an operation done to remove a small wedge in her overies. Guess it worked....Keep your chin up and know that it will come faster with positive thoughts and a loving heart. xoxo