NTNP because we can't TTC....

[ferens06]

Basically, I'm here because me and OH are having sexual problems that mean we can't DTD whenever we like. OH is having erection problems, and it's putting a real strain on everything. I just don't know what to do and say. I made him cry last night because I said it hurts me and feels like rejection

We were fine for the first year and a half, just the last 6 months has been a struggle in the bedroom with more times he hasn't been able to get it up than he has

Anyone had this problem and have ideas on what to do?

 

[kail]

Hi,

When my hubby and I first got together we had some issues. He just could not get it going. After lots of research and experimentation with natural supplements, toys, etc he's right as rain. Have you guy tried anything different yet? Has he expressed what he thinks may be the problem?

Big hugs to you! I know how much it can affect one's own self esteem. Please understand that it is not your fault even though it may feel that way. Something like this is as hard for the man as it is for the woman. Maybe even harder.

Kudos for being strong

 

[ferens06]

Hi,

When my hubby and I first got together we had some issues. He just could not get it going. After lots of research and experimentation with natural supplements, toys, etc he's right as rain. Have you guy tried anything different yet? Has he expressed what he thinks may be the problem?

Big hugs to you! I know how much it can affect one's own self esteem. Please understand that it is not your fault even though it may feel that way. Something like this is as hard for the man as it is for the woman. Maybe even harder.

Kudos for being strong

Thank you Kail, it's good to know someone else has had the problem..! I don't really know what to try to be honest. I think discussing it is making it worse because I think it becomes a vicious cycle of him worrying he won't get an erection and therefore doesn't....so I think the first stop will be to just be as relaxed as possible for a while and not mention it, see how it goes.

I've asked him a lot of questions about what he thinks is causing it, he says he doesn't know. I was convinced he doesn't find me attractive anymore but he insists he does.

What did you try? x

 

[ferens06]

As in natural supplements etc? My OH is only 23 too so it seems even stranger that this is a problem.x

 

[MackMomma8]

May I ask, how long have you been TTC? Please don't take this the wrong way, because I'm not quite sure how to word it, but maybe the stress of TTC and/or the reality of having a baby is doing something in his head that is causing this problem?

I hope that came out right. :/

 

[NotNic]

I was going to suggest that MackMomma. My OH has never had an issue with keeping it up before, but he has experienced issues in the last week or so. I think it is the pressure he feels to 'perform'. Making love is now more than just that, it's now also making a baby.

 

[MackMomma8]

Thanks, NotNic - I just couldn't think of the word 'perform' for some reason.

 

[ferens06]

May I ask, how long have you been TTC? Please don't take this the wrong way, because I'm not quite sure how to word it, but maybe the stress of TTC and/or the reality of having a baby is doing something in his head that is causing this problem?

I hope that came out right. :/

No, I should have said. We've not been TTC for long (about two weeks) but this has been happening on and off for 6 months. Don't worry, I expected the question!

 

[SyllyPoohBear]

My OH and I had a lot of problems in our first year. It ended up with us REALLY talking about our feelings and what we like in bed. BEST conversation we ever had(as far as sexually) After that we never had any real problems either way (with it hurting me or him not being aroused) TMI my OH loves a good BJ. That always gets him going. lol and it is more comfortable if we don't do missionary style. TMI it hits my cervix to hard. Try being on top or more doggy style. TMI sorry but I am just trying to help. lol We are all having sex right?? So what's the big deal! lol Also, does he drink at all? Sometimes just a slight buzz can make you relaxed enough to be aroused.

Psychological factors that can affect ED include:

— Performance Anxiety

— Death in the family

— Death of a spouse

— Child being ill

— Financial problems

Health-related factors that can cause ED, according to the American Urological Association, include:

— Nerve damage caused by longstanding diabetes (diabetic neuropathy)

— Cardiovascular disorders affecting the blood supply to the pelvis

— Certain prescription medications

— Operations for prostate cancer

— Fractures that injured the spinal cord

— Multiple sclerosis

— Hormonal disorders

— Alcoholism and drug abuse

Not saying that any of these apply but these are the most common.

 

[kail]

We tried yohimbe, horny goat weed and various herb combinations. I got him to be more open about sex, which is something he had never done. When he discovered he could have a voice and it wasn't just about rubbing parts together, things got way better. I gave him more control and did not assume it was strictly physical for him. He discovered a more dominant side and the rest is history. We have no problems now

 

[Mrs.Felton]

I had a friend experience this. They were having sex everyday an then all of a sudden the issues started. Turned out to be back problems but things are much better now.

 

[ferens06]

Well I took the advice of Kail and asked him loads of sex questions haha. Turns out he was nervous that he couldnt get an erection and itd become a viscious cycle! Now we've BD'd 3 times in as many days which we havent done in such a long time so its looking good!

 

[SyllyPoohBear]

Yay good luck! Baby dust!

 

[MackMomma8]