NTNP but reallllllllly wanting??

[Amy-Lea]

Since being a bit more active on here recently I am becoming so broody.
I think also that I am falling more in love with my OH everyday as Hallie is getting older and I am seeing how they are together. He is a wonderful father to Hallie and boasts about his daughter but it kills me that I cant let Hallie call him 'Daddy'. I am going through court for Hallie biological dad to get access so obviously one day he is going to have to be called dad so to not confuse her I make her say 'my Darren' to my OH, I just wish he could be her Dad as he has been there since i was 5 months pregnant and frankly her biological dad has saw her for a mere 4 minutes!.

I just long to have a baby with him as I think it will be the icing on the cake in the bond we have together. I know it will be hard but I dunno, I stil want one

When we we just withdraw when he ejaculates, so last night I basically said to him , obviously doing what we are doing we know there is a chance we can get pregnant (we use this method due to me being too scared of gaining weight on contraception methods and condoms make us both itch ) I asked if I never had Hallie and we had still been together for this length of time does he think he would be thinking he wanted to be a dad by ..say 30.

He said he deffo would want to be a dad, but when he was financially stable and had written his debts off etc, but he was so thankful he has been given
Hallie as his 'test run' and he gets a daughter to love and not have to be under pressure (for example he doesnt have to pay for Hallie, he just gets bits when were out for example nappies etc and will buy her a few christmas presents and a part of her christmas/birthday clothes etc)

My main reason for not wanting to get pregnant is too loose weight first, I was 10st13 when I got pregnant and now I am over 13stone I just want my chance to be skinny again before I go on and gain more weight, I would be so careful during my second pregnancy with regards to what I eat etc.

But I cant get it out of my mind lately.

Bit of a ramble really but can any one relate, as they really want one, but theres a reason not to?

 

[bubbles]

can't really relate but didn't wanna read and run.

 

[Serene123]

We've decided fate made a good choice for us once, so we'll let her do it again when she's ready. There are a couple of reasons I didn't want to, weight loss, saving for baby etc.. but I just think, we've done fine with our first suprise, what's one more?

 

[morri]

Hi , Basically I have heard though it is not a problem for the kids themselves to call a person dad even if he isnt her dad. Most just say they have two das, or they have one dad and another dad, so I don't think it is a problem with your kid. I think mostly it is rather a problem with the adults.

 

[Amy-Lea]

We've decided fate made a good choice for us once, so we'll let her do it again when she's ready. There are a couple of reasons I didn't want to, weight loss, saving for baby etc.. but I just think, we've done fine with our first suprise, what's one more?

See that's what I am thinking. Obviously I would prefer to be cured with my agoraphobia as it wouldn't be fair on a new LO, but soon as that is sorted, i'm guessing money wise you just have to manage, it's not a case of not having money. You just have to look at some of the girls on here to see its more than managable! I just need some super motivation to loose weight.

Hi , Basically I have heard though it is not a problem for the kids themselves to call a person dad even if he isnt her dad. Most just say they have two das, or they have one dad and another dad, so I don't think it is a problem with your kid. I think mostly it is rather a problem with the adults.

I know I understand that but I don't want her to face un-ruley questions in school as to why she has 2 dads etc.

I'm just waiting for the day when she says 'well you are my dad' and chooses herself to call Darren dad.

 

[Pinkgirl]

aww hunni, its hard and know exactly how you feel.
At the moment i am having a huge dilemma on when to TTC Dec or wait till July!
Its hard but at the end of the dad if you two can provide for a baby why not. Go with you heart. You could always set a TTC date so you have somthing to aim for?
x

 

[Serene123]

We've decided fate made a good choice for us once, so we'll let her do it again when she's ready. There are a couple of reasons I didn't want to, weight loss, saving for baby etc.. but I just think, we've done fine with our first suprise, what's one more?

See that's what I am thinking. Obviously I would prefer to be cured with my agoraphobia as it wouldn't be fair on a new LO, but soon as that is sorted, i'm guessing money wise you just have to manage, it's not a case of not having money. You just have to look at some of the girls on here to see its more than managable! I just need some super motivation to loose weight.

Hi , Basically I have heard though it is not a problem for the kids themselves to call a person dad even if he isnt her dad. Most just say they have two das, or they have one dad and another dad, so I don't think it is a problem with your kid. I think mostly it is rather a problem with the adults.

I know I understand that but I don't want her to face un-ruley questions in school as to why she has 2 dads etc.

I'm just waiting for the day when she says 'well you are my dad' and chooses herself to call Darren dad.

I agree it's managable! I can't wait to be pregnant. I'm finding it really hard to not 'try'

 

[bubbles]

I know I understand that but I don't want her to face un-ruley questions in school as to why she has 2 dads etc.

I'm just waiting for the day when she says 'well you are my dad' and chooses herself to call Darren dad.

in all honesty though hun it'll be the norm for kids to have 2 dads by the time LO's at school. Don't mean that to sound harsh or judgemental

 

[bigbloomerz]

Hey hun didnt wana read and run, Can imagine it must be really frutstrating for you seeing Hallie bonding with Darren and not calling him Daddy, We were waiting to TTC till September ue to moving house and losing weight and money and things, but we had a sit down and chat about it all and decided to just NTNP till September and if nothing happened by then, then we will get the OV tests and things out!
At the end of the day there wasnt a big enough reason to not have children, we can afford them and we will have moved by time they need their own bedroom and im trying really hard to lose the weight, it is hard isnt it!
Good Luck to you and hope u sort it all out soon xx

 

[morri]

We've decided fate made a good choice for us once, so we'll let her do it again when she's ready. There are a couple of reasons I didn't want to, weight loss, saving for baby etc.. but I just think, we've done fine with our first suprise, what's one more?

See that's what I am thinking. Obviously I would prefer to be cured with my agoraphobia as it wouldn't be fair on a new LO, but soon as that is sorted, i'm guessing money wise you just have to manage, it's not a case of not having money. You just have to look at some of the girls on here to see its more than managable! I just need some super motivation to loose weight.

Hi , Basically I have heard though it is not a problem for the kids themselves to call a person dad even if he isnt her dad. Most just say they have two das, or they have one dad and another dad, so I don't think it is a problem with your kid. I think mostly it is rather a problem with the adults.

I know I understand that but I don't want her to face un-ruley questions in school as to why she has 2 dads etc.

I'm just waiting for the day when she says 'well you are my dad' and chooses herself to call Darren dad.

nowadays it is so common that people go apart and kids lget to know new partners of their mothers. and she could just say anyway that one of them is her step dad, although I think young kids don't make much of a fuss about that.

 

[Sparky0207]

Hey honey

Is losing weight such a big issue for you? I think you look gorgeous and not overweight at all!
I really wanted to lose weight before I had the next one. I put on 4 stone with Lucy and have only lost just over 2! Because im so short as well its really noticeable. I just thought, if I work really hard to lose the weight now, im only gonna put it all back on again so why not have the next baby and then work hard to get it off?

Not really got much advice other than do what feels right for the pair of you. Good luck with whatever decision you make honey! Fate will play a part, if its meant to happen, it will! xxxx

 

[Amy-Lea]

Weight is a major factor in my life, Its affected me since i was young I have a terrible relationship with food, I think weight plays a big part in my agoraphobia too. I'm terrified of going out and seeing people who knew me before I was this size and commenting on me as I know what people can be like.

I just figured I would rather loose weight, then be healthy during my pregnancy and have less of an effort after wards rather than being double my size now and giving up on myself!

 

[Serene123]

Amy, you are gorgeous btw! I would KILL to look like you post-pregnancy, let alone before!

 

[Amy-Lea]

Amy, you are gorgeous btw! I would KILL to look like you post-pregnancy, let alone before!

I only post good photographs that are mainly boobs up hahaha

I'm a sneaky one! Thanks though, I'd love to say the same to you however I've seen no more than your eye & nose, you are BnB's very own resident ninja hahaha Do pictures of you even exist ?

 

[Serene123]

Yeah didn't you see the meet pictures? I'm minging since having Caitlyn, but Rich still loves me do I don't care anymore...... That's a lie, I do care, I just like food now

 

[Amy-Lea]

Sounds like me only I am convinced he is lying and wants skinny amy-lea back haha

 

[lozzy21]

Iv got two dad's my dad and my step dad. If my step dad came into my life earlier (i was 13) i would have called him dad. If i want some thing i call him dad, sounds funny considering hes only 9 years older than me. Couldent she call them Daddy and then their name like i did with my nanna's. Any one can be a father but it takes some one special to be a daddy.

 

[Amy-Lea]

Iv got two dad's my dad and my step dad. If my Any one can be a father but it takes some one special to be a daddy.

I have a plaquard above my door with that saying on

I dunno I think I might see if she calls him daddy and then not correct her.
Then the other feller can be dad when he eventually comes into her life.
I know it sounds silly but I'm scared of the looks and whispers from other people we know.

 

[lozzy21]

Iv got two dad's my dad and my step dad. If my Any one can be a father but it takes some one special to be a daddy.

I have a plaquard above my door with that saying on

I dunno I think I might see if she calls him daddy and then not correct her.
Then the other feller can be dad when he eventually comes into her life.
I know it sounds silly but I'm scared of the looks and whispers from other people we know.

Shes only going to call him daddy if some one refers to him as daddy. I used to call my dad jim as no one else called him dad.

Sod every one else hun its what its best for you and your family. If hes going to be the one picking her up when she falls over and threataning to beat her first BF up he's her daddy.

 

[morri]

I aklso had my dad (father) and my foster father. In the end I ended calling both on first name , but for example the kids of the woman my granpa married 10 years ago didnt hesitate to call my granpa 'dad' (they were younger than me too xD)