Nursing and rocking baby to sleep

[Starlight32]

How bad is this? I read in books not to do this and her pediatrician said it will prevent her from learning how to fall asleep on her own. I don't know how else to get her to sleep. She's 9 weeks. Any advice? Anyone else nurse or rock to sleep? I feel so guilty.

 

[broodymrs]

I rocked and nursed to sleep, and I'd do it again. I got loads of people telling me to let ds learn to self settle but imo there's plenty of time for that when they're older. Babies want and need contact with their parents, it feels nice for them, nice for us, they go to sleep. Win win! I know people told me it makes a rod for your back but I honestly think you either get a good sleeper or you don't. I'll be honest, I didn't get a good sleeper and maybe it was my fault for rocking but as he's growing up and he's so independent I really cherish the memories of those baby snuggles. I wouldn't trade them even for a good sleeper. And even now when he's upset (he had a bad dream last night) a mummy cuddle still makes everything better (and yes I was rocking a bit while doing it!).

 

[Snufflepop]

Honestly I would ignore the book and the doctor. Babies nurse for more than just food. Comfort nursing is just as valid a need as hunger. Your baby is still tiny and needs you, cuddle her, nurse her and enjoy it while you can because soon she will be a grumpy toddler 😂

 

[Nibblenic]

Personally I didnt with my last and havent with this one. I do however have spinal problems and even rocking a 8lb baby hurts let alone when they get over a stone so I am mindful not to create patterns for them that I wont be able to uphold. This will go onto her not being picked up and carried around as much as the average toddler too.

Its a personal choice, if that is how you want to settle your baby and it works then thats fine. I am sure you will know that you'll be doing it for a while and creating a routine based on that, if your happy and baby is happy then who cares.

 

[Starlight32]

Nibblenic, how do you settle your baby?? I do worry about how I will do it when she weighs more.

 

[JessyG]

Its fine, honestly its fine in fact its great! Do it if you want to, you will miss it when it goes. I did it for 2 years with my girl and i am so so so glad i didnt listen to everyone say i should let her self settle (she wouldnt, she wasnt ready) i didnt rock her as such but i did cuddle her until she was 2+. I miss it terribly now she says she isnt a baby and I secretly love it when she falls asleep on me.

What i am saying is they grow out of it and if you enjoy it and it makes her feel happy and secure than just relax and do what you feel comfortable with.

That being said my OH and I did gently encourage her to go to her big girl bed at 2.5 and for a while had to sit outside her room or beside her bed until she would go to bed nut she is super secure in the knowledge that we will be there in a heartbeat if she needs us, hell eveb if she just wants anothet cuddle. (She does sounds push it but again, do i really want to complain about extra cuddles and kisses before bed....)

Oh and btw i did EVERYTHING wrong according to experts when it came to sleep and my daughter sleeps well now and is freaking awesome so i sincerely dont believe i have fucked her up for life.

 

[noon_child]

Paediatricians are experts on physical development and childhood illness. They aren't parenting experts. There is very little real research in to what "self-settling" really means. The young of most animals fall asleep on their mothers but they don't spend the rest of their lives unable to sleep without them.

Humans are social creatures with longer childhoods than most animals, and we also come out of the womb less mature than most animals too meaning we aren't designed to be parted from our mothers. Newborns have not got the ability to regulate their own breathing and heart-rate properly, but contact with primary care givers is shown to create that regulation while they are being held. Same is true of temperature.

I really wonder what cultures that don't have separate bedrooms and have no choice but to live and sleep together would make of the assertions of some western doctors that children who aren't 'taught' to settle alone will have bad habits for the rest of their lives and be lacking in self-comforting strategies.

 

[Nibblenic]

Nibblenic, how do you settle your baby?? I do worry about how I will do it when she weighs more.

My first liked being swaddled and had a dummy. She was always fed and put down milk drunk/drowsy but not asleep. Then if she wriggled or was fidgety we would just put a hand on her chest until she dropped off

This one we do milk drunk and drowsy but she likes being tucked in, so the blanket is tucked around her moses/crib then doubled over at her chest level and tucked in tight so she can have her arms out. She likes behind her ear gently stroked. She isnt bothered by a dummy but seems to like her baby moov, which is a sleep positioner.

So basically both of them it is down drowsy then some gentle chest pressure till they drift off. Dont know if thats just my babies though, im sure theyre all different

 

[Left wonderin]

Rock away , its a precious precious time and goes so quickly . I did it with my first and at now 2.5 we sit by his bed till he falls asleep which takes 5 mins , my baby is 5 months and nurses to sleep .she can do it as long as she wants as her babyhood is already going by too fast .. Soon enough like the other poster you will need an invitation into their room and you will yearn for those snuggles . Just enjoy them if they work for you xxxxxx

 

[jodilee6]

I cuddle DS2 to sleep at 12 months still, he sleeps 13 hours a night

I cuddled DS1 until he was old enough to say no more (2 1/2 from moment) but he still has the odd moment where he asks me to lie in bed with him until he falls asleep now at 4. Again he sleeps 13 hours a night and wasn't one to wake up

Just do what feels right to you, they only stay little for so long, before you know it they are too old for cuddles

 

[minties]

Feeding to sleep, whether by breast or bottle, is natural and beautiful. Same goes for cuddling, rocking or snuggling with your baby. It's instinctual and we have these instincts (both parent and baby) for good reason!

I assure anyone who's worried that you aren't still nursing or rocking them to sleep when they are big kids - unless of course that's your thing!

I'm currently in the camp of being close to fed up with holding, rocking and nursing my newborn, but she knows what she needs and she will only be little for a short time. Babies change a LOT as they grow and so do their needs and sleep habits.

 

[SarahBear]

Don't feel guilty for giving your child what she needs. I nursed my oldest to sleep until it stopped working. Then we moved on to other developmentally appropriate means of getting to sleep. Now at 3.75, we're working on her falling asleep without me in the room. I'm currently sitting in the doorway while she lays in bed. Her brother is asleep and I nursed him to sleep. He's 16 months old. Yes, some people get their kids to fall asleep alone much sooner than nearly 4; however, I know from talking to people that both the kid and the parents aren't any better off for it. Additionally, I believe it's much more psychologically healthy for kids and babies to have help getting to sleep until they are ready to be independent with it.

 

[laila 44]

Nope! Not anymore I used to because my baby refused to be put down etc. However I was very adement about putting baby down in her space to teach her how to self sooth and it took Lots of patience and trying but she eventually got the hang of it! Now she settles on her own and goes right to sleep. No more rocking, bouncing etc.

 

[minties]

I also forgot to say I never nursed or rocked Sophie to sleep (maybe a couple of times as a brand new baby), and she still doesn't sleep through and wakes a lot. I don't think what you do with them as infants ruins them or sets up good/bad habit later really. Sophie would have her dummy and go to sleep by herself even as a newborn but doesn't mean she sleeps well now, she wakes me up more than Emma does.

 

[laila 44]

Don't feel guilty for giving your child what she needs. I nursed my oldest to sleep until it stopped working. Then we moved on to other developmentally appropriate means of getting to sleep. Now at 3.75, we're working on her falling asleep without me in the room. I'm currently sitting in the doorway while she lays in bed. Her brother is asleep and I nursed him to sleep. He's 16 months old. Yes, some people get their kids to fall asleep alone much sooner than nearly 4; however, I know from talking to people that both the kid and the parents aren't any better off for it. Additionally, I believe it's much more psychologically healthy for kids and babies to have help getting to sleep until they are ready to be independent with it.

I disagree. The people that I know whose kids cannot self settle and don't sleep etc are both miserable ( kids and parents). in my experience with my own kids, the best gift you can give your child (aside from love and affection) is to teach them how to self sooth/settle. This leads to longer and more restful sleep as they don't need or look for you in the wee hours of the night when they come out of a sleep cycle to resettle, they can just nod off on their own. For me it's been absolute bliss and I cannot imagine things being any other way.

 

[jessmke]

Don't feel guilty for giving your child what she needs. I nursed my oldest to sleep until it stopped working. Then we moved on to other developmentally appropriate means of getting to sleep. Now at 3.75, we're working on her falling asleep without me in the room. I'm currently sitting in the doorway while she lays in bed. Her brother is asleep and I nursed him to sleep. He's 16 months old. Yes, some people get their kids to fall asleep alone much sooner than nearly 4; however, I know from talking to people that both the kid and the parents aren't any better off for it. Additionally, I believe it's much more psychologically healthy for kids and babies to have help getting to sleep until they are ready to be independent with it.

I disagree. The people that I know whose kids cannot self settle and don't sleep etc are both miserable ( kids and parents). in my experience with my own kids, the best gift you can give your child (aside from love and affection) is to teach them how to self sooth/settle. This leads to longer and more restful sleep as they don't need or look for you in the wee hours of the night when they come out of a sleep cycle to resettle, they can just nod off on their own. For me it's been absolute bliss and I cannot imagine things being any other way.

This isn't necessarily true for all babies. Isla has always self settled herself to sleep for naps and at bedtime and she still wakes up screaming the house down 3 or 4 times a night and can't settle herself back to sleep.

 

[AndreZZ]

Don't feel guilty for giving your child what she needs. I nursed my oldest to sleep until it stopped working. Then we moved on to other developmentally appropriate means of getting to sleep. Now at 3.75, we're working on her falling asleep without me in the room. I'm currently sitting in the doorway while she lays in bed. Her brother is asleep and I nursed him to sleep. He's 16 months old. Yes, some people get their kids to fall asleep alone much sooner than nearly 4; however, I know from talking to people that both the kid and the parents aren't any better off for it. Additionally, I believe it's much more psychologically healthy for kids and babies to have help getting to sleep until they are ready to be independent with it.

I disagree. The people that I know whose kids cannot self settle and don't sleep etc are both miserable ( kids and parents). in my experience with my own kids, the best gift you can give your child (aside from love and affection) is to teach them how to self sooth/settle. This leads to longer and more restful sleep as they don't need or look for you in the wee hours of the night when they come out of a sleep cycle to resettle, they can just nod off on their own. For me it's been absolute bliss and I cannot imagine things being any other way.

Totally agree with laila44

 

[Starlight32]

My daughter currently does (usually) go back to sleep when she wakes at night. In the past week, she's been sleeping thru the night most nights although that's a new thing because before she was consistently waking up one time to eat. She needs help going to sleep at the start of the night it seems. Anyone else baby similar?

 

[Left wonderin]

Yes my LO is a super sleeper as was /is her brother . Both needed a little help ( if I would even call it that ) to fall asleep but had no issues after That and sleep soundly through the night , well my 5 month old wakes to feed once but settles herself back to sleep once put down .

 

[noon_child]

"the best gift you can give your child (aside from love and affection) is to teach them how to self sooth/settle. :

But would you advocate this with a 9 week old baby? I am quite happy for parents to make different decisions to each other based on the individual personalities of their babies and other needs of their families, but at 9 weeks old the OPs baby is has a long way to go before it understands that being put in a cot is safe and is not being abandoned to be eaten by lions!

That's not even considering the heart rate, breathing and temperature regulation that regular physical contact brings newborns, which I mentioned earlier.

I don't think anyone should feel like they HAVE to hold their child all the time or it will be damaged, but similarly I don't believe you MUSTN'T hold your child all the time or they'll be damaged.