Odd limbo between WTT and TTC?

[Ammolite]

Does anyone find that you have entered this odd state of not necessarily being as careful as you could be, but not necessarily TTC or being irresponsible?

My Husband and I are both WTT, and we are pretty careful (w/d method and occasionally condoms), but there are a few days a month where we allow ourselves to go whole hog. We have a fair amount of trust in natural fertility methods, but considering that I don't temp. and that there's always a small chance of pregnancy anyway, it still feels like we're taking small risks...and I somehow think we both like that a little. It's thrilling.

Neither of us are ready to throw caution to the wind, or to actually start TTC, and we both have concerns for pregnancy occurring right now, but yet we still find ourselves willing to take calculated risks sometimes. Despite being concerned about (and terrified of) the possibility, we both got a little disappointed when AF came a few months ago.

Anyone else experiencing the same kind of thing?

 

[lovehearts]

well yes lol. The last few months we have been like this - odd days where we just let whatever happens happens....and were gutted when af showed her ugly face!!
xxx

 

[MinnieMoo.x]

My OH and I use the same methods as you, with some occasional slip ups. Neither of us are 100% ready but we know we could cope if it happens.
Making the choice to actively TTC is a very difficult one to make, so I suggest you just enjoy your sex life as it is, and see this is practice for when you finally make that huge step to try. As long as you are not purposely doing the baby dance without protection during your fertile periods without him knowing (I'm not saying you are at all so please don't take offence) then there is no harm in the odd 'oopsy'. I hope the wait goes quickly for you. X

 

[Linzi]

Yes same here, we aren't using anything atm, and not TTC for a few reasons but my cycles are messed up & I dont think Im ovulating so I kind of feel like even if we were trying then it wouldn't matter. If that makes sense.

I dunno its really strange. Completely irresposible for us both.

x

 

[beccad]

We don't use any contraception unless it's close to ovulation - we won't have unprotected sex between days 9 and 22, for example.

I did spend a few months being sad when AF turned up, but it was starting to send me a little loopy, so I gave myself a stern talking to and just put the idea out of my head.

 

[AmeliePoulain]

We are in limbo a little bit - my cycles are pretty regular so the chances are tiny of anything happening...but right after AF and at the end of my cycle we don't use condoms and don't use pull out method either.

It sounds crazy but part of the reason we do it is so DH can get used to sex without condoms again...the past 3 years we have used them and been really really careful. He admits that he gets a bit panicky when we dont use them, so we both thought it best that he gets over that before TTC!

But yes...also I do always feel a little bit sad when AF shows up

 

[anita123]

yes we're the same and using the same method as u - OH is quite careful tho but i'm secretly hoping for that BFP and i think he is too - but i would never do anythin to make it happen if he wasnt happy about it!!
and it can be quite dishearting when AF turns up

 

[Auerbach059]

Me and my husband are in exactly the same situation, we are not being that careful, but using a kind of calender method, vaguely avoiding the danger days. It is hard as one minute we just want to go for it, then the next we feel that we are being irresponsible as I still have my degree to finish (bring on May/June!) and couldn't really cope with being pregnant before that. However every single month, we both get totally bummed out when AF shows up.

 

[thinknboutbby]

Oh my, there is someone out there like us,

We are in the exact same boat. I dont temp, chart, etc. Yet we are completely "unprotected" and I am completely saddened when AF appears. I actually got my hopes up this times, as AF was a bit late. Which bums me out since the whole cycle I didnt have my head in it, but every time I went potty, I got my hopes up pretty quickly!

 

[thinknboutbby]

Ok, I just posted a thread in the buddies forum for those of us who arent TTC, but arent preventing, LOL! Heres the link. Please come and chat!

https://www.babyandbump.com/ttc-buddies/289884-wtt-but-not-preventing-either.html#post4659269

 

[Ammolite]

Oh my, there is someone out there like us,

We are in the exact same boat. I dont temp, chart, etc. Yet we are completely "unprotected" and I am completely saddened when AF appears. I actually got my hopes up this times, as AF was a bit late. Which bums me out since the whole cycle I didnt have my head in it, but every time I went potty, I got my hopes up pretty quickly!

Totally been there...

When AF was due in Jan., I got more and more nervous with every day that AF didn't show yet...but of course, it did. Then, all of a sudden, the disappointment sat in, especially once my Husband even admitted a little bit of him was, too (despite being mostly relieved).

 

[thinknboutbby]

Hows everyone doing???

Im really headed toward TTC, I cant stand it anymore!

 

[TattooedMama]

I'm in almost the same boat, so glad I'm not the only one!! My DH wants to have a baby and so do I, I have a son from a previous marriage who he adores. Its just so hard to not actively try. We both know at this point we should wait until we are more prepared, financially, emotionally etc, he will need surgery before the year is out and I really want to go to school. We haven't gotten to the point of me being fertile and ovulating since we had the baby discussion so I'm not sure what will happen. Its hard because I know my cycles so well and I can't push from my mind when I'm ovulating, so I know I will tell him & we will probably get carried away and try. I know its irresponsible and completely not smart on our parts but we both get baby crazy. I don't know what to do!!! I'm hoping the next 2 months will play out into our favor and things will be going well enough by then to make a decision. Here's to hoping we don't lose patience and throw caution to the wind before then!!!

 

[thinknboutbby]

Well, I have my gyno appointment next Tuesday and I bought some folic acid today (just in case). Yeah, loosing patience, LOL! I guess I feel like we got a late start and we may very well be one of those couples that it takes a year. Thats assuming everything is ok and that we can even concieve in the first place!

GOOD LUCK!

 

[babyjiva]

sorry, i'm eavesdropping because this sounded so much like me and i was just about to click on first trimester but saw this... can i just give my two cents. my husband and i were exactly the same way... many period brought subtle disappointment but also relief... therefore we never actively tried but at of love and excitement, we let plenty of caution blow to the wind... anyhow, and here we are with a baby growing in my bell and we are really not ready!!! it is exciting, but if i could do it over again, i'd wait. just depends on what ready is though. we aren't financially ready so i'm scared!!

 

[thinknboutbby]

Thanks for sharing!

Our, well...my, biggest issue of waiting is to see if all is ok on my part first. I have never been to the gyno because I had no problems (knocking on all wood around me). I am on high blood pressure meds and Im thinking they may change that , even if we arent ttc, I am have never and will never (unless absolutely nessecary) be on birth control. As far as finances, well, they could always be better, but my big thing is health!

Congrats on your pregnancy, so happy for you!