OH is a @#!@$%... so angry!!!

[pinklightbulb]

So I had a bit of an unsettled night with Liam.
So OH decides to crack a strop at 5 am after Eamon woke up along with me and him because Liam was crying. In fact he throws such a stupid tantrum he says,

"I don't care about the baby. All he does is eat, shit, and scream. I care about Eamon because that's different but I don't give a fuck about the baby. You wanted him and I don't have to be happy about it."



WHO SAYS THAT about their own baby???!!!

He wonders why I'm not speaking to him and seriously considering taking both my sons so he can be fucking "happy" again. Prick. I am SO angry right now. I don't know what to think.

He isn't even sorry for it because I blasted him again before he left for work about what an awful, horrible thing that was to say. I'm tearing up again right now thinking about it. I really think he meant it. He even admitted to having no bond with him and not wanting one He said there's no point bonding to something he doesn't care about "right now". He doesn't love him or anything and has no interest in trying because the baby is "fucking useless". Yeah, seriously. He's that mature he called a 4 week old useless and said there was no point to him.



Did I mention my OH is a $!@#$^???????

How can you not care about your own baby... and say it!!!!! If something happened to me, OH is Liam's father and should look after him. But I don't want him to after that. I don't care if it sounds spiteful. You DO NOT say you don't care about your kid. Or that you don't love him because he's useless.

What do I do... someone tell me what to do. He's just waltzed off to work like he didn't just say the most hurtful, awful things you could say about your own baby. And expected to carry on a normal conversation after it with me. Which I found very hard to do... very hard. I can't even look at the stupid **** the same way right now. If I ever will again for a while.

How do you get past this????

 

[jenniferttc1]

I don't really have any advice but me personally, I don't think I would ever forgive if my husband said something like that about our baby.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I could cry all over again. I'm just devastated right now.

 

[Cupcake19]

Sorry you're going through this Personally, I don't think I could see past this, that's really hurtful. Does he have depression or anything like that which may affect his mood?

 

[pinklightbulb]

No. He's just an asshole. I wish he had an excuse but there isn't any

 

[pinklightbulb]

Just looking at Liam's little face and want to cry all over again. How can anyone be such a **** about something so tiny and small. I want to just leave right now. I really do.

 

[Sparkes]

Similar happened to us when Belle was born and I left for a few days, he eventually took his hand out of his arse and came and apologised to us and I agreed to come back when I realised he meant it.

Heard of the expression "you don't know what you have got till its gone?". Maybe your "OH" needs to learn it.

 

[AngelUK]

I don't think I could past this, I honestly would never be able to forget or to forgive something like that. I am so deeply shocked by what you told us I don't even know what to say to comfort or advise you. But I am sending you loads of

 

[PitaKat]

I don't think I could get past that

 

[pinklightbulb]

I'm still stunned. He had some dramas bonding with E but never said anything this horrible. Now I wonder if he was thinking things like it though. I'm just so upset and disgusted.

 

[m0mmyCool]

That is so heartless and very sad that father can say that about his child. The baby looks so sweet and precious!

 

[Kaede351]

Oh Hun, I really want to give you huge now. I am so sorry your OH is being a huge dick I really don't have any advice, but you need to do what you think is right, whatever that would be.

again chick.

XxX

 

[MummytoSummer]

Im so sorry hun, what your oh said is utterly dispicable. I'm disgusted for you. How can he say that about his own son.

To say that you were the only one who wanted him??? Um, hello, he was there when you made him and knew full well what unprotected sex leads to! If he was so against another baby then he should have used protection.

I get that sometimes men don't bond too well with newborns as they don't really do much. My oh was the same, he didn't get too involved in the first few weeks. He finds them too small and a bit boring. But even him not getting very involved hurt my feelings so can't imagine how you must be feeling now, but I knew he still loved her to bits. He just finds it easier to interact with our eldest (she's 2). But oh my god, if he ever turned round and said anything like that I could never forgive him. It's heartbreaking for your lo.

If I were in your shoes then I'd have to pack a bag, take my kids and find some place else to stay. I'd really need to think hard about whether I can get passed it or not.

I'd leave a note to let him know why you've gone and I think I'd even quote exactly what he said just so he can see it in black and white and hopefully see how heartless his words were.

No child on earth, wanted or not deserves to be spoken about in such a truly awful way. He deserves the love of his mum AND dad.

Just take comfort in that your lo knows you love him. Give human extra big cuddle tonight and tell him how loved he is.



X

 

[pinklightbulb]

I hate him right now, the wanker. He's so fucking selfish.
When I left him a few months ago you'd have thought the world ended. I took Eamon and went to Mum and Dad's because I was so sick of him. Well, if I didn't get the whole box and dice-- crying, begging, promising to change, blah blah blah. Stupid me for believing him. He hasn't changed a bit the self-centred prick. This isn't the first time he's said awful things. I've accused him of only wanting to be a Kodak dad and got told I was a c**t who has no brains and couldn't raise a kid if I tried. He wants to be there for all the picture perfect moments and put none of the hard work in. His answer to Liam being a bit unsettled when we were first home was to let him scream because he has to learn... at a week old.

Ha ha ha... but I''m a bad parent???? Yeah OK.

What a joker he is. WHO looks after HIS babies all day? He thinks I sit on my ass all day. He thinks I do jack crap. He thinks about himself and how hard his life is. That's about ALL he thinks. My dad has lent him money to help him at the moment and I am seriously considering paying Dad back myself right now and just leaving.

But I'm scared to because I know what he can be like He's threatened to take E off me before because he thinks I'm useless and I wouldn't put it past him to try it on. He said this morning when I threatened to take the boys and walk that he didn't care if I took Liam but I better think again if I was thinking about taking Eamon.

%^$^$^%& PIG. WTF am I supposed to do now???

 

[kaths101]

Im do sorry hun, what your oh said is utterly dispicable. I'm disgusted for you. How can he say that about his own son.

To say that you were the only one who wanted him??? Um, hello, he was there when you made him and knew full well what unprotected sex leads to! If he was so against another baby then he should have used protection.

I get that sometimes men don't bond too well with newborns as they don't really do much. My oh was the same, he didn't get too involved in the first few weeks. He finds them too small and a bit boring. But even him not getting very involved hurt my feelings, but I knew he loved her to bits. He just finds it easier to interact with our eldest (she's 2). But oh my god, if he ever turned round and said anything like that I could never forgive him. It's heartbreaking for your lo.

If I were in your shoes then I'd have to pack a bag, take my kids and find some place else to stay. I'd really need to think hard about whether I can get passed it or not.

I'd leave a note to let him know why you've gone and I think I'd even quote exactly what he said just so he can see it in black and white and hopefully see how heartless his words were.

No child on earth, wanted or not deserves to be spoken about in such a truly awful way. He deserves the love of his mum AND dad.

Just take comfort in that your lo knows you love him. Give human extra big cuddle tonight and tell him how loved he is.



X

^^^ this exactly.. I'm so sorry. Have you got family you can take your 2 boys to and leave the ass to stew on what he's said. If he begs and pleads you back then maybe but anything short of begging and profuse apologies NO!! What he said is out of order and so unfair on you and your baby

 

[pinklightbulb]

I know, he makes me sick. I don't know what to do. My sons don't deserve this shit. I don't care what he says to me but I don't want them to think any of that is OK

 

[kaths101]

Sorry posted above reply as you were typing yours... LEAVE HIM!!

 

[kaths101]

I know, he makes me sick. I don't know what to do. My sons don't deserve this shit. I don't care what he says to me but I don't want them to think any of that is OK

No and how are you going to feel knowing he loves one of your sons more than the other??
This may 'just' be a bonding issue but that is some pretty hurtful stuff to say! He sounds very immature. He doesn't deserve a girlfriend and 2 beautiful children.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I'm still sat here just reeling I don't know what else to do anymore.

 

[MrsEmo]

I think you need a few days space!! Maybe go to your mums but its ok saying that and alot harder to do!!