OH will NOT take things seriously

[LostandFound]

So i bet this is a common issue. However, i'm almost 39 weeks and trying to get the place in order and OH will just NOT get on board at all. The place is a mess. Every time i clean something, it gets dirty again due to his habits (which we fight about anyway even when i'm not pregnant).

I feel like there is just too much to get done this week and it's making me really anxious (hormones I know) so I decided to hire a cleaner to do some parts and gardener to take care of outside. however, when OH found out he's not happy and says we shouldn't spend the money, he will TOTALLY get round to stuff. But I know this just isn't true. I've been waiting weeks and weeks already.

He's also just not participated at all in any appointments, antenatal.... basically done nothing at all to prepare for being a birth partner. It's like he doesn't want to adjust at all to our current circumstances so I feel alone in it all.

No idea what to do!

 

[Jessicahide]

My dh is obsessive, he has been worried about nappies since before we got pregnant, had everything planned down to a fine detail before he asked me to try for another..... I think he is not so typical though xxx

 

[tallybee]

I know how you feel. I'm 38 weeks and my oh is spreading crap about the house and leaving it everywhere. I give up. Once I'm in labour it can be literally thrown out the door I don't care. Having a home birth means it needs to be clear. He's going to get a shock when lo gets mobile and he can't leave tools and crap everywhere! He also does getting pissy if I pay somebody to do jobs he "was going to do" lol. He is currently sitting hogging my laptop to send ebay messages while all the stuff is everywhere. sorry no use at all but you're not alone x

 

[JennaSmith]

In with you too everything is in a minute then I do it and I should be resting chance would be a fine thing. Why am I worried is his answer well I don't want house like this when who knows when labour could happen xx

 

[icegurl470]

Mine was the same way the first time around. But after she was born he rearranged the bedroom so the bassinet was in easy reach for me and ran out and bought a wipes warmer after I barely even mentioned that it would be nice to have one. When she was having issues spitting up he went out and bought her a rocker that kept her slightly inclined to sleep in, he was great.

This time around it's pretty much the same deal. At my last apt my dr said they would not try to stop labor after 36 weeks so we're basically looking at anytime between the 1-4ish weeks so I really want him to hook up the infant car seat bases in our two vehicles. There's no way I can maneuver well enough back there with this big belly to do it myself. He hasn't yet. It probably wont happen until I'm in the hospital lol, guys are so weird. Even though we already have one, It probably wont really click for him until she's here.

 

[Mississippi03]

Yes this is typical.. I clean, its just as messy again by morning. I ask dh to do something and he wont. He did clean the house this am.. Typical sunday he gets ocd and gets mad at me the whole time because i want to be lazy for one day.. Since i did everything the rest of the week!

The car seat took me six weeks to talk him to putting it in my car.

I made him go to two mw appts with me.. But he wont go to any other ones. Hasnt done prenatal classes, he refused. Hasnt done any reading.. Honesly has no idea what to do while im in labour or how to support me.

Cant give any advice, but you arent alone!

 

[LostandFound]

Yeah.... I had a sad suspicion I wasn't alone in this. What a downer. We do have a child already and he made me so stressed last pregnancy that i had a big 'talk' with him this time round about helping me get prepared nice and early so that it wasn't stressful. May as well not have bothered really. I think i might just go ahead and hire a cleaner and let him get mad about it later if he wants to.

 

[StarAngel]

I had a conversation with my oh the other eve just asking him has he done any reading up on labour so that he is not caught of gaurd and knows what is expected of h during labour, he replied that he hasn't but he must start soon. He said he feels like there is loads of time, I am 37 weeks this Friday and even though I am few weeks off due date realistically I could go any stage. For men, I think they think there is loads of time even when coming to the end. Not condoning their behaviour because it can be blood boiling, women seem to be better at organising. if he isn't helping you than you were right to hire someone in to help you. Now is not the time for him to expect you to nurse his ego. You do what needs to be done he will get on board then in no time.

 

[charliekay]

I had a paddy today and my oh soon moved and did some work around the garden! I just do the jobs around the house myself because he would just get it all wrong anyway and to be honest I get bored of hearing myself nag at him! Have a pregnant hormonal paddy and he may just listen haha x