Oh's Gender disappointment rubbing off on me.

[Louise88]

My oh got serious GD when we found out we were having a girl last time, he didn't talk to me for 2 days and wouldn't let me go out and buy baby girl clothes because he kept convincing himself that they were wrong and it was really a boy. It took him a few months to bond with our dd and even now isn't fussed about looking after her etc. his friend has 3 boys and when their 3rd boy was born (knowing that they wanted a girl) he turned to them and said I don't why you's want a girl I'd love 3 boys. He has also turned to me and said this baby better be a boy I don't want another girl and admitted he'd be devastated if it was. This has now put pressure on me as I feel if this babies not a boy then he'll not bond with her as I get the impression if its a girl he won't give her the time of day basically. He's also said we're going to keep having babies until I have a boy! I've drawn a line at 3 regardless. His ex gave birth to a little boy in march and he went really funny about it and mentioned if he'd stayed with her that would have been their boy (which obviously hurt me as I feel our dd isn't good enough for him) its put me in a massive panic incase this babies another girl and has got me praying for a boy for his sake it's starting to give me GD.

Sorry for rambling on I just feel this is the only place I can talk to others about gender disappointment.

 

[onetwothreebp]

What an arse!!

I would have said to him 'You better hope you shot a Y chromosome if you want a boy so badly then!'

I'm sorry you have to listen to his remarks.

 

[laila 44]

Wow what an incredible asshole. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Maybe read him some stories from the neonatal losses section to bring him some perspective. If that were my dh I would have a serious talk with him and let him know his attitude is un-acceptable. Period. Don't feel bad even if it is another girl, two sisters are wonderful. My dh and I couldn't be happier having another girl! Sisters r the best

 

[tinkerbelle93]

Sorry you're having to go through this

I know that eveyone deals with gender dissapointment in a different way but your OH is being completely unfair. If your baby is another girl then it's down to the 50/50 chance that is fate, not anything to do with you- if anything it is the MAN who determines what the sex of the baby is so the statement he made about his ex completely lacked any logic or truth whatsoever.. there was no more chance of him having a boy with her then there is of him having a boy with you and that was a really hurtful thing for him to say. If your OH was not being this way, would you have a preference? xx

 

[Louise88]

I think my oh is the way he is because his dad walked out when he was young and had nothing to do with him so since being little he's only ever been surrounded by girls no boys so I think that itself has a lot to do with his need for a boy as he doesn't want to be surrounded by girls all over again but I have already said I'd happily have a 3rd baby if this one is another girl I've even let him pick the girl name.

As for do I have a preference I would love a little boy as I have also grown up around girls so it would be nice to have a little boy but I grew up with a sister and we have always had a strong bond and I'd love my little girl to have that closeness with her sister aswell if it turned out to be a girl. So I think I'd accept either sex I just can't help but feel bad and be disappointed for my oh if it is another girl so its makings pray do much its a boy.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I'm sorry your OH is being like this, that sounds incredibly stressful! I hope that you hear blue, but if not I hope your OH bonds a lot quicker and is happy with his girls

 

[Misscalais]

If be telling him, well dear your sperm are the ones that determine boy or girl so at the end of the day he can't blame it on you.
I can understand that he wants a son but the way he is handling it is not right at all.
When do you get to find out?

 

[Andypanda6570]

I totally understand about GD, but you have no control over the sex and I understand his feelings, but I feel he is being over the top and really mean. You have enough stress just being pregnant and then you have to worry about him also. I am so sorry, I hope he changes his ways.. XOXO

 

[Glitter_berry]

I would have lost it at the ex girlfriend having a boy comment.
There is GD then there is downright nasty, hurtful and rude!!
I hope if you get your boy he wakes up to himself and realises both sexes are great and equal and doesn't favour the boy.

Sorry you have this pressure on you. I really hope you get your little boy to give you one of each. Xoxox

 

[maybebaby3]

He's being horrid. I think you should remind him it's his sperm which determines the gender not you! If its another girl it's down to him!!! When do you find out?

 

[littlebabyboy]

Thats horrible of him! anyway it was his ex's boyfriends sperm that made her have a boy not his ex! just put the pressure back on him afterall its his sperm that chooses! for your sake i hope its a boy just to make life easier for you but not for him. he needs to cop on.

 

[Louise88]

I have already explained the whole sperm thing and so has his family he says he knows I just don't think he can accept it, the whole comment his ex did turn into a massive argument and I explained to him that if they'd had a baby it may have been a girl but he only seems to listen to what he wants to hear he also wanted to go see his ex and her little boy when she first had him I firmly put my foot down to that! He seems to have gotten over that now though as it was 3 months ago now. Il not find out the sex until 20 weeks so another 10 to go unfortunately

Personally I think he's driving himself crazy over wanting a boy! I really hope this babies blue for his sake and hopefully we can then have a normal happy family.

 

[Louise88]

This is really freaky but I've just bumped into a friend and her mum in the street her mum claims she has psychic abilities anyway she actually turned to me and said this baby is going to be another girl and apologised apparently the people above wont give my oh a boy until he becomes grateful for what he has in 2 beautiful girls, we will go on to have another baby and apparently if my oh doesn't change his attitude I will have another girl but if he does then he will get a boy. Sounds very fairy tale I know! But the weird thing is neither my friend or her mum know about my oh being desperate for a boy and how he's gone on so unless something freaky is going on then they've obviously stalked me on here lol

Don't really believe what she said I just thought it was weird

 

[maybebaby3]

Very weird!

 

[Toms Mummy]

You're OH doesn't sound like he's worthy of his daughter, let alone another child regardless of gender! I hope for your daughter's sake that he changes his attitude. It's not nice for her to grow up knowing that she wasn't what he wanted x

 

[Paperhearts]

Did you ever find out the gender?

 

[Louise88]

ah yes we found out baby was a boy so very happy our families complete

 

[amazed]

He's being horrible it's not your fault the ex comment would of pushed me over the edge x