sheryl: I like josh william too, you have good taste! has hubby thought of any boys names you like at all? my hubby is not going to have much of a say. Im cooking it, Im naming it.
Sorry to hear about the medicaid thing
dew: that is dissappointing, luckily my periods have been on time. one month I did have a 32 day cycle though and I had a little hope. so did your temp ended up dropping when you finally got your period? so I guess they are correct, but you just cant get your hopes up either. I hope you catch that egg this weekend, I would be soooo happy for you! I cant wait for you to get pregnant as I think it will really help you with your grief from the MC.
oh yay for the smiley!!!! (Im typing in order as I read the posts!)
ny: omg dont get me going. my MIL has gone on and on about my hubbies achievements however small, meanwhile I do not go on bragging about mine even when they are better than hubbies!! its nice that she was encouraging and super excited about everything he did, but I dont need to hear about it 10 years later. Ive also been told about his meningitis scare at 2 years old about a million times. I worry when we have a child she will assume every little illness is meningitis.
I feel so bad for you, and agree with everything you have said. a lot of what you feel is probably excellerated by hormones, but also a lot of what you feel is very very valid. First of all, I dont like that he says 'you dont pay so you dont have a say'. thats BS. you are a team, and both contribute different things to the relationship. That does worry me a bit, that and him being so stubborn. I earn more than my hubby, but I would never in a million years think that he wouldnt have a say in what we do with our money equally. (the only time I mentioned it was when he was somewhat complaining about something I spent and I just said I dont care, look at what I earn, I can afford it).
I wonder why he is so stuck on loosing that money from buying the house at a higher price. It doesnt sound like he hurt for money growing up, but did his parents act weird about money all his life? Im just wondering. I am much more generous than my hubby with money, as I grew up with generous parents even though they didnt earn much. one year I got many toys I wanted, but many were 2nd hand. his parents have struggled a bit and are not overly creative or generous. so I can see why he is the way he is, and how I am too. Obviously no-one wants to loose money, and unfortunately the US economy has lost a lot of people money, but he cant just then shut off and live this way, with a risk of loosing his wife, just because of $20,000.
I think you need to tell him exactly how infair it is that he thinks that you dont have a say because you are not bringing in money. You are a team and need to decide things together. Tell him that you cannot live in this house forever and need a plan. If he cannot listen to you and take into consideration your feelings, then tell him you might have to reconsider everything. If he knew how upset you were perhaps he would listen? sometimes men just think we are generally nagging and dont realize. My hubby is a wonderful guy but has an impatiance in him that I hate. It makes him snappy with me and the worst is when we work together (he helps me with technical things so we work together a lot). I sat him down once and said to him I would not put up with it any longer, and he needed to work on it. I think the fact I was so serious made him really try. Its not perfect, but he is aware more of my feelings and does try. thing is, he has so many amazing qualities that I try to be patient with his one flaw. Perhaps you could list all the things you love about your husband so that you can see past the anger you have right now and make it easier (nothing gets solved when one person is really hurt and angry).
anyway, I would never tell someone to leave their husband and I hope that will never happen, but he needs to open up more, think of you as a true partner in life, and not be so stubborn. shutting down is not a good way to be, he needs to talk and listen. perhaps you could see a counsellor? unfortunately what you are saying about him is similar to my friend who I just told you they are divorcing. her hubby would not budge on things and didnt communicate. my friend put up with it, and it was him more that was unhappy and wanted to leave, but now she looks back and realizes she walked on egg shells a lot and was always trying to please him, but not getting much in return.
sorry for the essay, I just really feel for you.
babyhopes: thats great she made an effort. who knows perhaps the baby will be a good thing for your relationship. I hope it is with mine, but it could go the other way and I'll be more annoyed by her!!
mummy: I completely agree, Ive been seeing a therapist as I have unresolved grief from my dad passing and some food/weight gain issues. I was telling him how Id get annoyed at hubby for not being involved with my cycle and he felt that I was probably not communicating it to hubby the way it should be. you are so right, we can get all annoyed and naggy and they switch off and get defensive. I find its much better when Im calm and talk to him calmly about my feelings.
hi flying!!!!
(no relevance to that smiley, it just looked cool lol)
so have some idea of how frustrating it is getting through to them... but I wanted to suggest something....
Hope the cramping is just that uterus on the move!!
Thanks!
Hoping tomorrow will be a better day...cheer up girls!
