Older mums advice please!

[12BeeMummy]

I have wrote a letter to my mum about sex and cotraception and wondered what you mums would think or say if you received this letter from your daughter?
I would love to hear your opinions please I'm hoping to give this to her tomorrow.
Oh and btw I'm 19 x

Mum this isn't the easiest thing for me to speak about to you, as it's normally you speaking bout it to me, I know your thoughts on the subject of sex, but if you would please just listen to me,without saying anything, I would be very
Grateful.
Its taken me a while to pluck up the courage to bring this to your attention but its eating me inside not being honest with my MUM. *I feel that this is the right time for me to talk to you about sex and contraception as i am well of age now, even though I wished you brought the 'contraception ' subject to me as i would of felt less awkward bringing it up to you on my own back lol Never mind I guess you didn't think you had a reason too and thought I would come to you, I just want to bring this to your attention mum because I know you would want me too and its a grown up thing to do I want
to tell you*that I have had sex and I am sexually active now, and i want you to know that serhan never forced me into anything,it was something I was ready for.*
Because i am having sex now i want to make sure I'm having SAFE sex and I am considering going on the pill for extra protection.*
I would be very grateful for your support mum. I feel much better telling you this because it's always playing on my mind, I'm sure this honesty will bring us closer. Like mum and daughter should be. ok once you have seen my letter please don't come to me about it straight away lol x LOVE YOU MUM. x **

Remi x

 

[LilDreamy]

I'm not an older mom, or a mom of a teenager in fact, I just wanted to say you sound like you have a very mature and wonderful daughter and I admire the closeness the two of you have. A lot of children/teens don't feel like they can approach there parents that well. Congrats on such a lovely family.

The best thing I could say... Is support her. no one wants to think of their little once upon a time baby having sex. It's horrifying to think of it... But it will happen and it is part of life. best of luck to you.

and wanted tom say, I can only hope Alexa and I have as good of a relationship as you and your daughter.

 

[LilDreamy]

Whoops! Just realized you're the daughter. lol my bad. Anyway, I think it's a very good letter and couldn't imagine her thinking negatively about it. You are 19, so it is most deffinately expected.

 

[NickyT75]

sounds good hun but just wanted to let you know that you can speak to your doctor about going on the pill without involving your Mum if you feel awkward about the subject xx

 

[12BeeMummy]

Thank you for both of your replies even though you thought the first one was the mother lol it was still very lovely to hear that from some one x
I'm so nervous to give it to her tho lol my boyfriend doesnt really want me to tell her that we are having sex because he feels awkward for when he comes round and whatever, but should I let that stop me? He thinks that I don't need to tell her, just put in that I want to go on the pill, and to let her wonder if we are having sex. Do you think this is wrong?? Xx

 

[12BeeMummy]

I had this in mind but dont like the thought of my mum finding out with me telling her x lol x

 

[NickyT75]

If you are 19yrs old & have been with your boyfriend for over 3yrs im sure your Mum already knows you are sexually active hun

I think it's nice that you want to involve her but at the end of the day you are an adult now & the decision is yours to make xx

 

[JASMAK]

I agree...I bet your mom knows you are having sex. I think the letter is fine. I don't have older kids...mine are 1,7, and 8 years old, and I am 37 years old. But, I always think talking one on one is better. But, if you are too embarassed, I think a letter is better than not talking at all. I think it's great you are having protected sex, but you are a grown up now, and you can make your own decisions. If you want 'support' from your mom about sex...assuming she has never spoken about it with you before, she probably isn't too comfortable talking about it??? (guessing here). It might be good to open up the channels of conversation if that is what you feel like you need from her.

 

[12BeeMummy]

Thank you jaz and nicky.

I might re-write my letter now that I have thought more about it, like you said she probaly knows I have sex but just isn't really
Letting me know that she knows even though sometimes she will say
Silly jokes about it when I go to my bf's house x
My mum has always told me that I could come to her about anything and she has gave me the sex talk quite a few times it's just she hasn't recently
Even though she says comments to me that
make me think ...ahh she knows
I'm just kind of shy to bring it up to her because I don't want her to think bad of me x
Sorry if this is confusing xx

 

[JASMAK]

Why would she think bad of you?? You are an adult! You are in a relationship. I am glad you have spoken to her about it before, that's good. LOL...I hope I am a good mom like that too. It's hard sometimes.

 

[12BeeMummy]

I don't know it's props just me x I'm sure you will be a great mum x just let your children know that you are there for them whatever they do.. Good or bad. ) xx

 

[minties]

I'm not really sure if I understand? At 19 I would think it was no ones business but yours about sex. When I was 19 I didn't want to involved my mum. You're well into adulthood.

 

[julietz]

Im not sure why you posted it here, kids and teens, your an adult 19 yrs of age, if you feel nerveous dont do it, only do things your comfortable with, im sure the time will come when your mum may ask or comment that your probably having sex now and you can say yer ofc, i think your feeling very young in yourself that you need mum approval, what will you do if she say i hope not? it nice what you both have but cant you maybe just bring it up in conversation and laugh about it, tell her you were gona write a letter to her and giggle it off, im sure your worried about nothing gl.

 

[Sam Pearson]

I think it's a great letter. I agree with other's that there is no need to involve your Mum in your private life but it's lovely that you want to invite her to communicate more with you about personal things openly and on a different level now that you are both adults. Good on you for keeping things real and opening those lines of communication with your Mum.

 

[amotherslove]

letter seems fine.. heck you could write "hey i'm having sex and buying birth control" and it'd be fine.. youre 19!!! lol i asked my mom for contraception at 16. if youre 19 can't you just.. go buy it?

either way i hope you and your mom make things work

 

[suzib76]

i dont know why, at 19, you feel the need for it at all tbh

i would sya if you were 15, maybe even 16 its a possible, but at 19 years old i just dont see the need