OMG

[Novbaby08]

So I haven't seen Harley's dad since she was born, and all of a sudden tonight I get a message on myspace from him, and a friend request, he had had me blocked before.
He wants to start seeing her every Saturday. And he went on to say he has nothing against me, he just had a hard time accepting that he was a dad. But he even got on the phone with me. I guess when he heard Harley was sick he got worried, even though its just a little cold lol. What do you guys think.
But he said he would help me out when he's over and stuff...

 

[ColtonsMom]

If your in America, (if he is on the birth certificate) he has a right to her every OTHER weekend. I wouldn't give her to him every weekend, especially if you work.
But if he is willing to help and wants to spend time with her, I wouldn't deny him that.

 

[ryder]

Do what you are comfortable with.

I am a believer of children having 2 parents, and if he wants to be responsible and does things right then I see no problem with it. If he is going to help out, thats great, it will give you some time to yourself, even if its just a nice bubble bath!

 

[missjess]

Do what you feels comfortable for you and your daughter.
I don't know what's your story with him, but I would have a hell lot of questions to ask him if that would be the father of my child!!

I would agree on him seeing her, but he'd have to prove me how good he is with her and earn my trust before getting her on his own.

Hope it turns out great for your little family xxx

 

[Novbaby08]

he isn't on the birth certificate, and she has my last name. I'm ok with him coming over. I just am suspicious about how long it will last, if he will actually stick around and all.

 

[ryder]

Well maybe just not call him "daddy" right away.. Let him come and be friends for awhile and see how it goes? The age Harley is right not will be a good test, cause it can be a little dull at times for some men, lets face it month olds dont do a heck of alot at this point. So if he is cool with just coming and enjoying feeding and bathing etc and sticks around, then who knows? Maybe he actually will stick around?

 

[brownhairedmom]

I would let him. At least if it doesn't work out, you can tell her you tried.


(remind me of my great advice when my turn comes and I'm not feeling quite so generous)

 

[Novbaby08]

I'm letting him see her, because I want to be the better person and as Rae pointed out I want her to know I tried if it doesnt work out. He may biologically be her dad, but legally he's not. He has no rights to her. But I'm giving him a chance to prove their not all the same, and try and show that he wants to help with her. He won't be on the birth certificate though. Just me

 

[Sherileigh]

Well he could also fight you if he wanted too...he could ask for a DNA test and get legal rights to her! So it's probably best to let him try some supervised visits and see how he does!

 

[kayjor04]

hmm this is a toughy for me... i haven't seen or heard from Jordyns father since she was born, and if he came back around, i dont know that i would be keen on him being in her life... BUT he made some awful threats about taking her away from me. despite knowing he'd NEVER get full custody... it just wasnt worth it.. I often wonder what he would do/say if we ever ran into him.. as much as i wuold like for her to know her father.... i get the feeling he'd be full of empty promises.. and she doesnt deserve that... So shebetter off without him..

But its worth a shot if you can trust him. all you can do is feel the situation out, and see how he is with your LO!
goodluck!

 

[Novbaby08]

He never threatened me, in fact we were really good friends, then we went out and suddenly he took off when I got pregnant, I was like 5 weeks when he left, he avoided me when I was pregnant, didn't talk to me or anything, then when I had her he asked to come to the hospital so I let him. He asked to come again, and he came the next night, and I haven't seen him since then. He knows she's his. She looks just like him. HE just hasn't been around. So I'm going to let him try and prove himself, but I also want if it doesnt work out, when Harley gets older and asks about him, she can know that I tried. Its hard to say how this will go. His sister is part of Harley's life so. Its complicated.