On the road again graduates

[Starry Night]

And I'm getting so fat! Like, truly fat and not just pregnant big. Yesterday, as i was showering, I noticed I had chub gathering on my friggin' knee caps! I really didn't think I was eating that much more than normally and I'm definitely eating better than I was with my son's pregnancy (no brownie diets). Yet I'm still gaining fat. And now with my GD close call (still hoping to pass the next test) I think I need to open my eyes and just do better. It's too cold to go outside for walks but we do have a 1980s' exercise bike. I'm sure I could do a gentle routine on that. I'm already craving fruit in this pregnancy so cut back on the treats. I know I can't diet or undo what's been done already but I've still got 3 months to go and it's only going to get worse. I've gained 30 pounds already. I gained 60 with my son and I really don't want to repeat that.

 

[Left wonderin]

Starry on your knee caps lol !!! How can you even see them with your bump I really am doing fine now , well over the trauma and would do it again 10 times over and more if it resulted in a Sean I am so so in love with him . This eerie nice would not put me off from giving Sean a brother or sister my OH though will need some persuasion as he was very scared and shook up . We will give him time

I am also surprised how quickly recovery from c section is and that I'm not in any major discomfort or pain . It feels stiff and uncomfortable sometimes if I do too much or walk too much and it is a BIG pain I cannot drive for 6 weeks ! But other than that I'm great

Red I totally agree with you re induction I now know why lotsofwomen are so against it . I'm now one of them , I I can avoid it in the future ( should the need arise ) I will at all costs . Think I'd even prefare a planned c section .

Hope everyone is having a great weekend xxxxxxx

 

[Starry Night]

Having a fairly good weekend. I'm finding it hard to give up bad habits like snacks in the middle of the night (such as now). I'm just so hungry! And I baked all these goodies for a guest we were having. Yeesh. ha ha Even my healthy meals I eat too much negating all goodness. And I think DS is coming down with pink eye and there is a manufacturer's shortage on eye drops so we have to wait for the walk in clinic to open. Yay.....

Left - give yourself a small rest to make a sibling for Sean. But broodiness is catchy so I"m sure your DH will warm up to the idea eventually. I was able to talk DH down from waiting a year after DS was born to 10 months. A small concession but once he was on the TTC train he was full-on. And we had had our scares too. Broodiness is very strong and not to be reasoned with.

And I'm glad your recovery is going well. The worst part of recovery for me actually was the post partum bleeding but I'm a bleeder so that was to be expected, I suppose.

 

[skyesmom]

LEFT!!! your birth story has shocked me and given me shivers!!! so so SO glad Sean and you are all right and that it all ended well!!
that silence gave me chills only to read that, can't imagine how you must have felt. no wonder you went in shock, that is normal after a physical and emotional stress like that, it is not only the reaction to section and epidural but your own adrenaline and endorphins shooting up and then withdrawing. SCARY!

anyway i'm on the same page with Red here - these horror induction stories make me angry... but anyway... it has all ended good and the little Sean and you are doing great and that is all that matters in the end!!

now - pics, Topanga you too!!!

as for broodiness, it was literally KILLING me these days, OH also seemed to get some cold feet at the idea again and our angelversary is coming up the next weekend and it all just crushed me, honestly.
broodiness is so so heavy to deal with and i really try not to overwhelm the OH as i know this puts him off and it's totally understandable but still... it sometimes makes me feel very very lonely.

but anyway, feeling better today and he is warmed up to the idea again so all fine but wow... these couple of days last week were pretty rough i must say!

topanga, i had to think of you so so much when you wrote how amazing it felt that your OH was getting all excited about Lauren and how you had to wait for such a long time to have her and to convince him... insane what one can survive and go through.

 

[Topanga053]

Skye, . It's so painful when our SO's get cold feet. I don't know if anyone understands unless they've been there. I remember crying my eyes out before we were TTC because DH said (yet again) that he didn't know if he ever wanted kids. It felt like he was rejecting me! Even with the loss and TTCAL, I knew his heart wasn't in it as much as mine was. I don't think it was until my second or third trimester that Lauren became REAL to him (whereas she's been real to me since before we even started trying!). The change was instantaneous and he became the doting father who held me when I was walking on the ice, cried at her birth, and sings to her every day now before showering her with kisses. But it took him years to get here. It was several months of me being hysterical before he would agree to TTC (my mother in law has told me since that she was worried when she knew he wasn't agreeing to TTC and was planning on talking to him about it before he changed his mind because she didn't think it was fair to me! Lol!). It's now been over two years since I wanted to start trying for a baby and it will be two years next month since we started TTC. It was a long, painful journey, ESPECIALLY those times when DH wasn't on board or having second thoughts, but it was so worth every second of it. I know you'll get there Skye, and your OH's bouts of cold feet will melt away too when the time comes and he realizes what a precious little life the two of you have created! I can't wait to be there when that all happens for you!

 

[Left wonderin]

Morning everyone its a beautiful morning here , you can almost feel spring around the corner . Skye I'm sorry your feeling down . Angelvarsarys are always a time of high emotions and sadness . It brings all the pain and sadness to the fore . All you can do is be kind to yourself , go with the feelings and trust that it is very normal to feel like that . I also find it helpful to plan something re remembering for the day , visit a special place , go out and buy a special candle to light for the day , complete an act of random kindness in honour of my angel .
I'm lucky that oh has always been on board with ttc despite finding it very frustrating at times .

Topanga lol I'm laughing it will be two years in two months that we also made the decision to ttc . It was at a wedding on the May bank holiday . That was me done I became immediately obsessed !! AFM I think I've picked up a nice dose of cystitis I hope its not a uti that needs anit biotics. Ill try manage it with cranberry juice for a couple of days and see how I get on .

 

[skyesmom]

Topanga, your post almost made me cry... and smile. This feeling of knowing your child before it's even there, and feeling them and wanting them; and on the other side knowing they're not as much as wanted from the OH all the time is horrifying. sometimes when he gets cold feet i feel like i am the only one who wants that baby and that he couldn't care less and that it is me pushing him into things (and i know it's far from truth but this is how it feels when this feeling comes!)....

i wouldn't wish this on anybody... yet it is such a relief when you know there is someone, somewhere in the world who has experienced this feeling and who can understand... i find it healing, really.

THANK ALL OF YOU girls for being there for me!!!!

oooh and when this rainbow comes, it will be such joy!!!

 

[RedWylder]

Hi Left! Hi Topanga! Glad to hear things are wonderful for you two on the other side. I can't believe how fast time seems to be speeding up. I'm 32wk6d and that's just crazy. I'm not quite ready for my LO's birth but she's coming ready or not!

Skye- Men cope so much differently than women. It's important to understand that he might just be getting cold feet as his was of coping. But you guys will figure it out. Don't ever feel alone because we've all been there and done that.

 

[Starry Night]

My dh was always worried about whether or not we could afford a child. I had to point out he and I were in careers that were not going to increase much in the way of pay so if we waited until we could "afford" kids then we'd never have them. I've been lucky that he has otherwise been on the baby train. He said he was one of those guys who always knew he wanted to get married and have kids. He said in highschool his friends made fun of him for it, but that's what he wanted. Though he only ever wanted two kids. I had gotten him to agree to three (and was secretly plotting to get him to agree to four) but now that I feel 'done' with all this TTC I think he's very, very happy that I've become happy with the idea of two. lol

Red - I was thinking about you this morning and wondering when you'd be full-term. It's getting close!

afm - had my second glucose test this morning. It was so frustrating. I got there first thing in the morning and there was already a huge lineup. I was there for half an hour and they had not called a single name! I was fuming as my sister was back at my house and she is flying home tomorrow. I guess the computer had been down but once they got it going they started going through the names faster. The test was more involved than I was expecting. My finger still hurts from the poke they gave me.

I technically passed the first test (it was just very close) so I'm hoping I more clearly pass this one.

 

[Topanga053]

Starry, sorry to hear about the frustrations with the second test, but so glad it's finally behind you! Hopefully the results are good! And oh my goodness, four kids! Just the idea exhausts me! DH and I have been talking a lot and we're pretty sure Lauren is going to be our only child. We both always said we would only have one IF we had kids (believe it or not, I always said growing up that I NEVER wanted kids. Then the TTC bug hit me.. hard!!). We love her to pieces, but we also love traveling and working and a lifestyle that's just harder to maintain with multiple kids. So, it's still under discussion, but right now we're pretty convinced this is it!

 

[Starry Night]

We are giving ourselves a year after this one to possibly change our minds but we're pretty set now that we're going to have two. I used to think two kids was 'boring' as I imagined I was going to love having babies. Truthfully, I do love having babies--the baby stage was terrific with DS--but I just can't handle pregnancy or the prospect of another m/c. I really feel I'd have to go through at least one before another live birth and I just can't face that.

 

[skyesmom]

it's insane what the losses do to you. they make you crave the baby even more, even if you were never a baby-person, and at the same time they also make you dread the whole journey and in the end have less children than you wished for... Honestly, when i think of an impact they have on human lives, and how life-long and life-determining that impact is, i am shocked (still to this day) that miscarriage is still such a great taboo, and so so much underrated.

 

[Starry Night]

Exactly. That insanity and baby-obsession is a big part of why I want to stop after two now. I'm tired of the TTC train. I feel drained and don't like how much it has taken over my life. Other than the 10 month break between DS and the start of our TTC#2 journey, I have been in this world since fall of 2009. I'm just so weary. If I were younger maybe I could handle taking a few years off and reconsider then but I'm in my 30s already and I also just feel I can become a better person if I move on with my life.

And I think since most couples choose to only have one or two kids it reduces the odds of them ever having a miscarriage. If everyone was still having 5 or 6 babies then more of our peers would have had at least one as well. Though I'm glad so many of my friends do not know the pain of miscarriage firsthand even though some of their flippant remarks are painful.

 

[Carybear]

I can understand that. I think its awesome that you are having one of each! What a blessing...

Life has been so busy for me that it has been a little easier to not obsess about it... More than anything in the work I want to hold my rainbows in my arms, but no amount of wishful thinking will get me there. Just patience and hard work. I'm finding that right now hard work seems to be my life. I know though that when my little blessings come I will be able to ease up and enjoy them.

 

[skyesmom]

Cary you're a trooper honestly!

i admire you so so so much! i hope when my angeversary passes this week, that it will be easier to focus on other things! thank you for all your incredible support ladies!

 

[Left wonderin]

Where has everyone gone ??????? Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelooooooooooooooooooo hope everyone is doing ok ? For those waiting how is pg going ? Those with new arrivals how are ye feeing ? For those still ttc Or ntnp how are things with ye ??

 

[Starry Night]

Been battling a stomach bug which has really left me flat. 48 hours later and I still feel like junk though I think there is some improvement.

I haven't heard back from the doctor yet about my glucose screening results so I'm hoping that's a good sign. With my first test I had heard back the next day. My next appointment is on Tuesday so I'll know for sure one way or the other then. And I'm hoping I go to 2 week appointments after this. I think things will go quicker which more frequent check-ups. Third tri has just started for me and I'm already so tired of it all. I feel as cranky as I did with DS at 35 weeks. Can't imagine how hard I"m going to be to live with when I am that far along. I just want baby Hannah to be here safe in my arms.

 

[RedWylder]

Hi left! I'm just waiting. I don't have much to say at the moment. 33 wks and counting. It's all going quite quickly right now and I'm enjoying the last few weeks I have alone with my daughter.

 

[Left wonderin]

Oooooh your all just flying by !! In no time we will have some new arrivals I can't wait to see all our on the road again babies that obviously includes Cary and Sky me and Sean are doing just fine I can't believe how it feels like he has been here forever and he is only 2 weeks old ! Here we are having a cuddle after a feed this morning

 

[Left wonderin]

And one when we are little more decent ! Ready to to to granny for dinner