Once you've given birth

[Miss_Bump]

Sorry ladies im tri-hopping
I have a question about when you go into labour.
Obviously we will phone the mums and dads when my waters break etc but will tell them they don’t need to do anything or go anywhere until I get to the crucial point.

Now the thing that is worrying me is that BF’s dad & Step mum have to be the first with everything and always HAVE to know everyones business are just general busy bodies.

Once ive given birth how long before family can come in and see you? I KNOW the in-laws will somehow worn their way in and ruin it all for us GRRRR!

Can we tell the midwifes we don’t want anyone visiting for an hour or so, this is my first baby so I really don’t know what goes on.

Any help will be great thanks
xx

 

[LouLou78]

Well depending where you are and certainly here in the South West we only allow two birthing partners through those delivery ward doors. There is no visiting. Visiting takes place on the post delivery ward during visiting times. Even when you have delivered and the baby has been weighed etc your birthing partners will want to call family and tell them the good news, but you are usually on the labour ward for approx two hours in a normal situation before you are transfer to the ward. Even though you have delivered there is still no visitors on labour ward. There is a VERY good reason for this. Not saying your trust in the Sout East is the same but that is typical in the many trusts I have had experienced in the area. So the relatives normally have to wait to see you when you are on the ward, usually many hrs later if you deliver in the night for example.

 

[_Vicky_]

oohh not a clue but why dont you NOT call them when you go into labour and just get oh to call them when you are ready to see them - sneaky but hey beats them crashing the party too early xxxxxxxxx

 

[JayDee]

It depends on the hospital, the one I'm going to has strict visiting hours so even if baby arrives first thing in the morning no-one other than DH will be allowed to see me until mid afternoon.

I'd check on that first. Plus, you could always say that you're not exactly sure what the hours are and only ring them once you're happy to have visitors.

 

[Miss_Bump]

Ooo thanks girls youve made me feel very happy.
I hoping my hospital is the same with visiting hours etc.

I just want those first precious moments of her in the world to be special for just me, her and BF.

Ill defo ask when i have to start doing my birth plan and see if its something we can put on there.

Thanks again
xx

 

[katekatekate]

Just call them after and say OMG IT HAPPENED SO FAST WE DIDNT HAVE TIME TO DO ANYTHING BUT GET THE BABY OUT.

 

[_Vicky_]

Just call them after and say OMG IT HAPPENED SO FAST WE DIDNT HAVE TIME TO DO ANYTHING BUT GET THE BABY OUT.

lol I like it!!!!!!!!!

 

[Squidge]

It varies from each hospital i think. Although, i'd agree with above and say it happened so quick you didn't have chance sort of thing. Unless your in labour for hours on end (hope not, mind) then you can't really say that

 

[EmmaDueInFeb]

Deffo call them after if you think they will all turn up.....if you tell them before they'll just be like caged lions, wandering up and down their livingrooms waiting, or worse walking the halls of the hospital

Usually they have to adhere to the ward's visiting hours (i.e. an hour in the afternoon & an hour in the evening)

 

[LouLou78]

If there is no visiting aloud at the time then there won't be any need to say that it happened quickly. They simply will have to wait until visiting time.

 

[Noodles]

At my hospital, grandparents are allowed a 15 min visit ourside of normal visiting hours once the baby has been born, but no one can sit outside the ward for security purposes so they will need to be called once I have given birth.

 

[ChuggaBump]

We're not telling our's until the baby has arrived - OH's parents will be an absolute nightmare calling and texting for updates, and will probably turn up at the hospital and wait outside, so we're just gonna tell them when it arrives to save OH the stress of having to fend them off whilst dealing with me in labour!!

 

[Miss_Bump]

We're not telling our's until the baby has arrived - OH's parents will be an absolute nightmare calling and texting for updates, and will probably turn up at the hospital and wait outside, so we're just gonna tell them when it arrives to save OH the stress of having to fend them off whilst dealing with me in labour!!

We will probably do that now thinking about it. I know everyone has good intentions but i think all the parents will be texting and phoning for updates etc which poor BF wont need.

Now i just have to wait until she is ready to come out (not just yet i hope)
xx

 

[2bananas]

Just give your maternity unit a call and ask them what the visiting hours are, you can then decide what you would be happy with - although until you are in the situation of just having had the baby you wont know entirely.

For example. Our visiting hours at the hospital i am going to are 2-4pm and then 7-8pm. And thats it.

Last time i had people turn up whenever they felt like it, no notice they were coming, people waiting in the waiting room as it was only 2 visitors to a bed at one time and as soon as i got rid of 2 visitors another 2 would come - it was a damn circus and I felt totally out of control - but thats because I was 21 and a new mum and thought it was the norm - but its not, it depends on the family!!!!!

This time I am being totally in control of visitors and if people turn up unexpected I will ask for them to be sent away - its not about them, its about you!!!!! You need your time in hospital to recoup, not to entertain people with your birth story immediately after birth and have a 24 hour old baby passed round about 20 different people!!

Visitors are lovely - but only when you are ready for them, be very strict and do not let people dictate to you. (Can you tell how bad a time I had with visitors lol)

The midwives are only too happy to tell people you dont want visitors and send people away, you dont even have to talk to them. You can say that you are exhausted and not feeling well and the midwife will pass that on and they wont be allowed through - nobody can be crappy with you about not feeling up to visitors. Obviously mums and dads are going to want to see the baby - but friends and extended family can wait until YOU are ready for them!! xx