One of my twin toddlers not wanting me to console him

[calm]

I wondered if anyone had experienced anything like this with their toddlers and could give me some insight.

My fraternal twins are very different in character. One is very mummys boy, and loves fuss and hugs, and if hurts himself he comes running to me. The other one has always been more independent emotionally, and doesn't want to hold my hand or cuddle to go to sleep (though he does want me near by). But he would come running to me when he bumped his head or hurt himself, but lately, he goes and runs into a hidey hole and wants to be alone in these moments too When it happened today, I waited til he had calmed down, and then spent a bit of time giving him fuss and attention, but that was all I could do for him. Could this be a phase, or it is just his character? I feel like I'm failing him in these moments.

 

[SarahBear]

You're not failing him by giving him space when he needs it. There's no need to fuss over him. I'd just ask him if he's OK and maybe offer a hug but not push it. Since it's a new behavior, it may be a phase or it may just be his personality.

 

[_Meep_]

It's probably a phase. Mine seems to be going through it too. She gets very angry and upset if she hurts herself or falls over, almost as if she is embarrassed. She will run away and hide her face, crying, and tell anyone who tries to comfort her to stop it and go away lol.

All we do now is just leave her to it and wait until she finally calms down - then she will come over for sympathy. In all other respects, she is an affectionate child, and she hasn't always been like this when she hurts herself, which is why I am assuming it's just a phase relating to self-consciousness.

 

[calm]

Thank you everyone. He actually had yet another fall an hour ago, and I scooped him up before he could run to find a den to cry in, and I hugged him. He ended up hugging me back and saying muuuummmmyyyy as he cried poor thing. DH kept saying "put him down, your back!" (I suffer a lot with my back/hip and the twins weigh over 40 pounds each) but I couldn't put him down, I was just so happy to hold him when he was upset. When he falls again (most probably tomorrow at some point) I'll let him choose if wants to hide on his own when upset

 

[calm]

The thing is, his twin demands a lot of attention and fuss, and even though he doesn't demand the same attention, I don't want him to feel left out, or that somehow he is at a different level or not worthy Silly I know, but I still remember my own strange pattern of thoughts as a child. But indeed if he really does want to be on his own and not to be consoled I need to let him do that.