One Stressed Out Mama

[MamaDragon]

Hi! I am new to this forum. I thought I would start with an actual question instead of an introduction. We have not been trying long, just since May, but I am already super stressed. We are TTC #3, and honestly I am more stressed out this go around than the first time. I am 35 and have been waiting to starting trying for our 3rd for 4 yrs. My first 2 were conceived relatively easily. This time I feel it is a struggle. I feel half the struggle comes, not from conceiving not coming easily, but from having wanted a 3rd so bad for so long that I am impatient. Stress that AF has come once again. And feeling like I am a bad person for wanting another baby. On top of that I have no one I feel I can talk to about this. Ladies, I am so stressed out that I want to cry. The biggest part to me about TTC is the intimate bonding that you do with your partner.

Do you ladies I have suggestions that I can use to relax or distress beside running and drinking lavender tea?

 

[jellybeanxx]

It’s very difficult when you want something that badly. I know the feeling.
The best thing I can suggest is keep talking about it with your partner and on here if that helps. I find posting here a huge help because it makes me feel like I’m doing something along the way. So much of TTC is waiting around, that it’s nice to have people to wait with and pass the time.

Also, and this is a bit trickier, have faith in your body. It’s done it twice now and as you say, it wasn’t difficult for you to conceive. So that gives you pretty good odds of it happening again.

Hang on in there, chances are very good that it’ll happen!

 

[Hickory]

I'm sorry you are feeling impatient and stressed! It happens to most of us, so please keep posting and sharing. This has helped me tremendously!

I have wanted a child of my own for many years (happy stepmom of a super 7yr old boy who spends part of his time with us) and married an amazing man who sadly (for me) did not want any more children. I carried a very heavy emotional burden knowing that I would not have any of my own, but was otherwise extremely happy with my life. Just in March, my husband and I had finally talked the subject to death and he agreed to start trying. The years of waiting, sudden reversal of my fate, and change in the meaning/purpose of sex with my husband caused a flood of overwhelming feelings! The first few months of TTC drove me nuts and caused times of tension in my marriage. I wanted to be pregnant yesterday!

Finally, going into cycle 4, I feel much more relaxed and accepting of the process. I am obsessing less and feel more comfortable with the tracking and scheduling. Unsuccessful or non-attempt of BD the day before O used to send me into a meltdown. Now, I'm okay with doing our best and focusing on the rest of day to day life.

All I can say if have faith. If it doesn't happen quickly, you will settle into a groove and stress less while you wait. Trust in your body and even if your timing isn't perfect each cycle, trust that one day it will be and a headstrong swimmer will get the job done.

Fingers crossed and baby dust to you!!

 

[LovingLimes]

Mama-I know just how you feel! Jelly had some good advice, coming on here really helps pass time and bounce ideas of other women who are experiencing similar things.

I'm 34 and have also waited a while to try to have #2 with my husband. I had a tough time the first time, emotionally, and ended up with pretty bad PPD. I waited for a lot of "things" to fall into place before we started trying again. First I had to get over my PPD, then I had to wait until my husband got on board. He was not very supportive and kind of selfish when I was pregnant the first time. He was working nights and we were still naive; since then we have really grown as a couple and we both were pretty confident in our relationship, so we decided to really start trying.

Like you, I waited a long time, and the baby fever built up and up, and now I find it extremely hard to be patient and not to be all about baby.

And of course, once we started trying, my husband is starting to show those signs again. It really makes me nervous. I wish I were one of those mature independent women who doesn't need anyone's support or excitement, but I'm not. I also feel like I need someone to talk to/have support and this board really does help. My family is also not great to talk to.

I wonder if I am putting the nail in the coffin wanting to have a second baby. My husband is generally a pretty good guy, but something about me being pregnant makes him change for the worse. He does not really want to talk about having a second kid or anything about TTC (mind you I waited for him to be ready to start trying, this literally all happened once we really started trying and I was tracking my temps, etc). I definitely don't feel the bond you are referring to and also want that with my husband, but I've kind of given up on him. It helps me not get so upset about it!

Anyway, I could go on, but I'm not trying to vent so much in your thread lol! My point is I know exactly how you feel and if you need any support, I'm here!

 

[GodsNotDead23]

What I've done recently is make an amazon baby registry. It gave me something fun to do, thats baby related, but not "body" related.

Also I obsess over other peoples cycles so I can relax a bit about my own.

I think posting here and getting involved in the community will help you a lot!

 

[MamaDragon]

Thank you, jellybean!! I admit that it is nice to have somewhere to come. DH wants to keep it a bit of a secret that we are trying so I really cannot tell anyone. Even the little venting I have done here has really helped. You are right I need to have faith in my body......and a little bit of baby dust!
Thank you!!

 

[MamaDragon]

Finally, going into cycle 4, I feel much more relaxed and accepting of the process. I am obsessing less and feel more comfortable with the tracking and scheduling....

Fingers crossed and baby dust to you!!

Thank you for this. It is good to know that this "gotta get it done NOW!" feeling can both be tempered and go away. Thank you, Hickory!!