Opinions please ladies

[Moulder86]

Ok I know we can all be rather bitter about our ex's considering the situations and well normally I am too but I would like your opinions on something.

Ok he's not going to be at the birth and probably won't have much if anything to do with us afterwards as he feels it isn't fair on bubs because he could only spare maybe once a week to see him. Personally I think it's just because he doesn't want to get attached and it spoil his new happy family.

Anyway he has agreed to be on there when I register the birth and be on the birth cert. I'd rather that than unknown and I don't think bubs would like to have unkown when he's older either, makes me sound like a bit of slapper.

Anyway his ex has also agreed that his son and ours should know each other and has agreed to arrange for us to meet and his parents are going to have some sort of involvement too.

Sorry for the long rant but my question is his last name will be mine now but I was thinking about using his dads as a middle name because it's Flynn so can be used as a main name as well as surname.

xx

 

[Starling]

I think your baby would like that. As much as you may recent your ex, it's your baby's father, the other half of them.

 

[nikky0907]

Thats a great idea!
I think your kid would appreciate it.
I double barreled my little girl's name.

 

[nikky0907]

Thats a great idea!
I think your kid would appreciate it.If he wants to be at the birth certificate and fill out that 'father' area then there should be som mention of it.Even if he ends up being a father just on that paper.
I double barreled my little girl's name.

 

[Moulder86]

I did think about double barreling bub's last name but for some reason thought maybe using it as a middle name. Someone did suggest using it as his first name but thought that was being too nice lol

xx

 

[nikky0907]

I did think about double barreling bub's last name but for some reason thought maybe using it as a middle name. Someone did suggest using it as his first name but thought that was being too nice lol

xx

Lol!

Don't go that far! So much he didn't deserve!

 

[Moulder86]

lol no exactly, so I have two middle names a surname but no first name. Jon Flynn Moulder but need something else for his first name.

xx

 

[~ Vicky ~]

I think it's a lovely idea! Like Amy i'm double barrelling my LO's surname. Someone has actually suggested to me that if I have a girl I could call her Summer (ex's surname is Summers) but I shot that idea down pretty swiftly lol.

 

[Younglutonmum]

I think that's a really nice idea hun

xxxx

 

[demonmadcat]

Lily's being double barrelled too..

Although ex OH wanted to double barrel her first name too...

told him that's probably not for the best... lol

 

[Wobbles]

I think Dad should be on the birth certificate but only if he can be bothered with his child?! Only being honest! I have strong opinion on Dads seeing their kids, Mums stopping them, people giving chances etc but I also have a bitter side to parents who simply don't give a shit because it does not suit!

A Dad is the man who loves his baby at every possible convenience if my babies daddy said that to me I'll be honest I would have to say I wouldn't add name to certificate or use his surname! What if you go on to have other children and this guy really doesn't change and he stays a stranger to your LO - you meet someone else and have children the surnames will clash but if you get married all your children can sart using your wedding name!

Do you see what I'm saying?

Sorry to put dark spot on x

 

[Younglutonmum]

I totally understand what you're saying Wobbles

Im not having my ex on my daughters birth certificate because he is a t**t & also as you said what if I go on to meet someone & have children with them?

xxx

 

[Wobbles]

Really depends on the Dad

See I changed my name by depoll to OHs & Caitlin has his surname too but I 'know' he will always be there for my baby girl nomatter if we part as a couple so if I moved on had other children got married or both although I will have a new surname and Caitlins will be different Caitlin has one of our surnames (her Daddys) who cares and loves her - I'd not do that if her Daddy wasn't going to be a BIG part of her life. Imagine having Dads and hes not even there for baby - even a doubt of it I couldn't/wouldn't & in my case would not have done what I did.

 

[Moulder86]

I'm having him on the birth cert because I don't want unkown, I just don't think it's right and someday bubs may want to go find him. He may even change his mind once bubs is here but that's just the way I want it.

I'm not using ex's surname as his surname he will be having my surname, I just thought it would be a nice gesture to his family more than anything to use the surname as a middle name. I already have the problem of someday explaining to LO why his brother has got a different surname to him (being their dads).

 

[Wobbles]

I wouldn't see the surname as a problem and a must but see your point about the birth cert. My Dad isn't on mine which I was about as a child to see that empty space.

You can add the name at any date to a birth certificate if left blank not nessisarily unknown

But thats just me what I'd do Moulder x

Btw thats pretty cool about his exs LO not many exs would lol

 

[brownhairedmom]

Here the father has to be present in order to put his name on the birth certificate. Adam has made it clear he wants no part, so therefore he will not be going on the birth certificate. I won't hide who he is from the baby, but for legal purposes I'm not putting him there.

I also am giving the baby my surname. Just for the fact that if I put Adam's last name there, and he keeps being a jerk, the only way I can get it out of his last name (say if I got married and the guy wanted to adopt my baby) is if Adam signs it over. I know very well that there is no way in hell he would give me that satisfaction. So legally, the baby is being completely cut off from his dad. If he later on wants to go find Adam, then I won't stop him as long as he is of an appropriate age.

I think using Flynn as a middle name is a good idea. Unfortunately, I am not as sympathetic as you or I would do the same thing. But then again, I am partial to Flynn, it is my last name!

 

[joannek]

Yeah thats a good idea.