Other children?

[special_kala]

Im planning on having a home birth and all going well the plan is for River to be with us all the time. Not necessarily in the same room all the time though as we will hopefully have a few people come over for a bit to entertain her in her room for a few hours.

Just wondered how involved she could be? She will be 21 months old so i know wont understand a whole lot but i'd like for her to be involved as much as she can.

If i have a birth pool would it be ok for her to come in with me for a bit or would that not be safe?

 

[Rumpie79]

Ideally, I'd have Marley present, she'll be three, and is well prepared for the realities of labour and birth, but I'm having my doubts now. I know I'll need to go deep inside myself and won't be able to talk during contractions. I also know that if it happens during the night and she wakes, she'll need me, she won't be happy to sit quietly in the corner of the room. I won't be able to give her the attention she needs, and I won't be able to listen to my husband trying to reason with her/distract her while I'm in full blown labour.

I think I'll be much more relaxed if I know she can be looked after. I have two close neighbours who will be on call. If labour kicks off before Marley is settled for the night, they will be happy for her to go and stay with them (she's never stayed the night away from me before, so they will just keep her up playing and if she falls asleep on their sofa, then so be it)

If labour begins during the night then I'm happy for her to go to them first thing in the morning. To be honest, early labour, and second/third stage aren't a problem, it's the transition part I'll need to cope through.

Yes, it would be wonderful for her to experience the miracle, in an ideal world she'd be stroking my back, mopping my brow and whispering words of encouragement, in reality, she'd have her Doctor's Kit and scary reflex hammer, and would be determined to ram her plastic thermometer down my throat

 

[KittenKat]

This is something I have been thinking about, have three to think about. If its night then not too much of a problem in theory but during the day my younger two would be hard to manage. The youngest will have no idea so no reasoning that she would have to be well behaved. Eldest daughter on the other hand would likely be trying to get in the pool, helping herself to any medical equipment around and asking me "what the matter is?". She was nosey enough everytime I have had bloods taken and even got herself around the curtain when MW did my sweep before I had Rosa

 

[PeanutBean]

I think we may have a thread on kids present a few weeks ago so might be worth looking down the board.

I'm having Byron home with me. I'm getting my mum up to look after him. I'm hoping he'd like to be around to see but I certainly won't force him and I've also read that many women simply don't birth until after the children have gone to bed! Though he might want to get in the pool with me I don't think I want him to as it'll be a distraction and I don't want to be holding him or anything.

We've bought a couple of books to try and help prepare him. This one's quite nice ab out pregnancy but entirely skips birth: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Theres-Hou...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1298657414&sr=8-1

We were introduced to this one at the birth choice meeting we went to. It's about homebirth (a rather romantic one, I think it's not UK!) and is generally very good with the exception of a bit about the MW tugging on the cord... https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hello-Baby...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1298657449&sr=1-1

Byron enjoys reading them both and I think it helps. The second one had a picture showing the baby's head out so kind of explicit though tasteful. I could imagine that potentially putting people off but I think it's great as it shows it the way it is.

 

[MummyMagoo]

My eldest was 21 months when DD2 arrived thankfully she was asleep and my labour was super fast so she just woke up to having a new sister lol
Personally i wouldn't have her in the pool as you don't know how your going to react,what noises you will make etc and could scare her.Id keep her in the same room but maybe keep her entertained and see how she is,let her decide if she wants to see whats going on?
Good luck!!!
xx

 

[sam#3]

when i had harry i had both of mine there, and anais chose to cut the cord, it was just perfect to me... all the family round just how it should be

 

[KandyKinz]

My son is 9 years old and my daughter is 5 years old.

Our plans are to have my sister come over to take care of the children while I labour eg, feed them and entertain them and stay with them should I require transport to hospital. They'll definilty be allowed to come see me if they please but for the most part the intentions are to keep them entertained in their room and if they are asleep we'll just let them sleep. Then once I start pushing they're more then welcome to come as that's the EXCITING part! However if my daughter is sleeping we'll just let her sleep. She's not very hung up in ensuring that she's there and if we were to wake her we'd have one big grumpy pants on our hands! But we will be waking my son as he really wants to be present and would be quite disappointed if he missed it.

 

[kiwimama]

My plan is to have my mum come over immediately to be there just for Ella. I am planning on hypnobirthing so having Ella dancing around may really not work for me when I am trying to relax within myself. Perhaps I'll be fine with it, I can't say until I'm in that position. So really I'm just playing it by ear. Ideally baby will start making his journey right after Ella goes to bed and arrives just before she wakes up!

 

[indigo_fairy]

I've decided to go with the flow I was going to have my daughter (who will be 4 1/2yrs) at my mums but have decided that she can stay with us. She is so wanting to be part of everything and we talk about how 'our' baby will be born quite alot and she seems to understand it better than I thought she might. I want to involve her as much as possible, but am also open to the option of her going to my mums if I think it's too much for her or we have to transfer to hospital.

As for the pool I'm open to her coming in with me as she absolutely loves being in the water! Might make a bit more mess though

Your daughter is quite a bit younger than mine, but I don't see why your plan won't work out perfectly, as you will have people around to entertain her but know she's close enough to be as involved as you and she would like.