Other people's input

[Pne1985]

So I just need to vent. Something that I don't understand but it's not something I lose sleep over. Just wanted to know if anyone can relate.

Our first child is a boy and are having a girl this time around. You wouldn't believe how many people say comments like "oh, one of each, that's perfect. You'll be done having kids now won't you?" And if I respond with a "well, I'm not sure, we will see how it goes with this child." They always seem to think I'm nuts and make comments like "2 kids are enough now a days."

Okay, I think it's up to us to decide how many children we want, and why do people automatically jump the gun about talking about having more kids when you're still pregnant. It baffles the hell out of me! Haha ok, I'm done! Thanks for listening ladies!

 

[cleckner04]

Agree! I don't ask for help with taking care of my kids. I don't ask anyone to babysit or anything. So I am causing zero "burden" on anyone for having kids. But they still act like 'omg what are you thinking'.

But it's like anything really. I cosleep and OHs sets of parents/step parents complain and argue about why. And it's not like they are in my bed at night, what do they care?!

You have as many kids as you want. Have 6 more just to piss everyone off.

 

[Pne1985]

Yea, like bringing children into this world is such a bad thing. And the funny part is, the people that make comments, have no part in our lives, maybe once or twice a year.
Haha you should ask them next time if they are jealous that they don't get to sleep in your bed. Haha

Well I don't think my husband would be up for that and I'm not sure if I could do it. My husband said we are done after this one and he just won't touch me. But we will see how that goes!

 

[03babysquish]

I have no idea, but I swear everyone does that. It's not as if they really care either. It's very very irritating. I completely agree that it is totally up to you as a family unit. It has nothing to do with anyone else

 

[SleepyBaby]

Get used to it, learn to prefect the "nod and smile" while pretending to listen and pretending there opinion matters

People like to give imput, bump size, bump shape, due dates, over due, new born, breastfeeding, bottle feeling the list goes on forever! Smile and nod, agree and move on, you dont need to justify your actions to anyone but telling them that is sometimes like talking to a rock, or they take offense, or they decide its better to debate your choices with you until they can make you see things there way, people are nuts, just agree and move on for an easier life lol

 

[x__amour]

Literally my entire life in a nut shell. "Don't need anymore." "Ruining my perfect family." My
mother was SO upset when I told her we were pregnant again. I've been doing this long enough to perfect the smile and nod but it's still so annoying.

 

[Pne1985]

Oh ladies, I just had to vent because I knew you would understand! I am a pretty easy going person and I don't get offended easily. I just think it's crazy how some people just automatically have negative comments. So that tells me that they are generally miserable people. And I feel sorry for them because I couldn't imagine feeling that way everyday! Like I said, I don't lose sleep and I agree even if I don't just to end the conversation quicker.

 

[Pne1985]

Literally my entire life in a nut shell. "Don't need anymore." "Ruining my perfect family." My
mother was SO upset when I told her we were pregnant again. I've been doing this long enough to perfect the smile and nod but it's still so annoying.

Oh man, I'm sorry. I do think that would bother me if my mom said this to me. We have a very close relationship though. I'm not sure if I would even know what to say.

 

[tcinks]

I come from a family of 6 and my parents each from 8, so I've always loved the idea of having a large family. I know lots of people who have more than 2 kids and would never think to ask them if they are finally done! I also know people who have 1 or 2 and did decide they were finishined. And that's fine, too! Everyone will have their opinions, like previous posters have said. Feel free to vent away!

 

[tryingforthrd]

Some people seriously don't think before they speak. I'm having the opposite comments...I'm pregnant with girl #3. I'm sure you can imagine the ridiculous things people have to say about that! I love that we'll have 3 girls to raise, less than 4 years apart. I have 2 sisters and a brother and have always wanted a larger family. I'd keep having babies if we could afford it lol

 

[cleckner04]

I do agree some people just have a hard time being positive about things. I used to be really bad about being negative myself but I try hard to be better about this. I am now genuinely happy for others happiness. But in the days that I wasn't happy(like while I was with my ex), it was easy to be negative. Now I am happy so it makes it easier to be happy for others if that makes sense.

 

[HappyAnjeL]

Ive been having the opposite.. we have a girl and are pregnant with a boy.. I keep getting comments about how we will be all set for number three since we kept my daughter's stuff.. and when I tell people this is the last one they tell me I'll change my mind or ask a million why questions.. I come from a large family so it's mostly people from my side who don't seem to understand.. but I don't owe them an explanation I just say that is what me and [DH] decided.

 

[x__amour]

Literally my entire life in a nut shell. "Don't need anymore." "Ruining my perfect family." My
mother was SO upset when I told her we were pregnant again. I've been doing this long enough to perfect the smile and nod but it's still so annoying.

Oh man, I'm sorry. I do think that would bother me if my mom said this to me. We have a very close relationship though. I'm not sure if I would even know what to say.

It's alright! We do not have a close relationship really. She had 6 children so she never wanted me to have "too many". I guess 3 was "too many."

 

[Rymel12]

I only want to have two kids and I have a girl and am
having a boy and the general consensus seems to be "oh great, one of each. You're done."which works out nicely for me.
But I feel for those with other situations. The only people who have questioned me if we will have another is those who have three+ kids themselves. Really, like you all are saying, it's no ones business how many kids you have but your own. People get so caught up in their opinions that they seem to think others should feel the same. But yeah, best to keep your opinions to yourself on this one.

 

[2have4kids]

Um I always see people who only think 2 kids = the perfect family as a bit square. It's your choice and I've made myself very clear to friends and family that 4 kids is my idea of a perfect family. Mind you, I also believe strongly that you have to be in the position financially, emotionally and have a strong relationship to care for 4 kids but I always look at those who think 2 is best a bit sideways. My ex bf and bm was always going on about how her first was such a handful and that 2 is her max and she always said I'd feel differently after 1 and I'd likely conform to just being happy with 2, I told her if 1 is so much work she should reconsider having 2! When I was 19 I was a nanny to 2 kids, 9 months and 2 years old. If I can handle 2 at 19 I'm sure at 40 I can handle (now 3) or more thanks. She was a fairly shallow lady and it got worse as she got older so I ended our friendship (she was also an anti-vaxxer and had other really whacko views). It's been a lovely non-judgy life without her and we're over the moon to meet our soon-to-arrive twins. Push back when people say dumb things, it shows more about their intelligence level than anything on you my dear!

 

[pooch]

People are stunned when I say we are having our third and someone even asked if it was planned!

 

[sewing_mama]

I have a girl and am expecting a boy, I've had 'one of each, perfect' comments too. I feel lucky to experience both genders but in truth would have loved 2 girls! I guess it's just one of those things people say, and don't realise is a bit ill judged.