Other people's news make me cry

[TwilightAgain]

Does anyone else find it really hard to respond positively when they find out someone near them is going to have a baby?

I'm 23 and OH's 29 but I feel so much pressure to start having kids because he's older but it's so frustrating that we're so far away from that day being our day. We still have to establish our business, save a deposit, but a house, get engaged and married and then finally be in a position to start trying. We currently have £0 saved for a house it's so depressing.

The person in question I can't stand but her OH is my OH's best friend and even he came to tell me the news looking a bit deflated. I'm embarrassed to say that I shed a few tears.

Does anyone else feel like this? It's so hard when you're waiting to try indefinitely

 

[callmedan]

Yes I feel your pain even though I have a TTC date I still dread other people announcing they are expecting
I feel awful being so jealous but I can't help it, I have cried at a few announcements so you are not alone

 

[xstitcher87]

Totally with you there! Even though I have a TTC date, I still get upset at people announcing their pregnancies, although I have noticed it depends on who it is. My friend from work is having her second baby and I was super happy for her and just felt excited, but someone on my facebook (who I knew from school) announced hers and I was really upset and had a bit of a cry.

You'll get there, we all will, one day or another. Sucks when you're waiting though. Good luck on the saving for a house! My DH and I started with a piggy bank on our coffee table where we chucked coins etc. Then when it was full we counted it up and put it in a bank account....ended up being about $300!!

Also, when we got married, when people asked what they could buy us, we either told them, nothing, we don't need anything, BUT if you insist on doing something, then a little donation to our property savings would be nice. We've kept a record of anyone who has given us money towards it and I'm going to do a photo collage or something to hang in the property to commemorate all the people who helped!

 

[annio84]

I felt just like this when we were WTT our first. Everyone seemed to be getting pregnant and it was so heartbreaking. The final straw came when my younger sister fell pregnant unplanned and couldn't stop telling me how much she didn't want to be pregnant. I cried on and off for days.

I'm now waiting again for number 2 and while I know it's not the same as waiting for your first, having a plan to get to where we need to be to try and making sure that there's stuff going on in our lives so I'm not just waiting is what is getting me through. I wish I had done this last time. You will get there and when you have your baby you'll feel better about the waiting but it does suck until you get there.

 

[sherwood]

...

 

[EmmySocks]

i feel this all the time! i feel horrible about it but it's worse if i feel like the person isn't as ready as we are. I was really upset last year when friend from school decided that she wanted a baby, she lived at home, had an on and off boyfriend and didn't have a long term job and she just went and got pregnant... I secretly felt really angry about this... which is silly because she's a lovely person and i know she'll make it work. I think i'm most upset about the circumstances because she planned it like that...

I can't help but compare to our circumstances: we've been married for 3 years, rent a lovely house (looking to buy) both have stable jobs and enough savings... and we're still not 'ready'.

 

[MollyMalone]

Waiting for your first can be a daunting task, but I promise you time WILL fly. I remember being in a similar position not that long ago and now DS is about to turn 2 and I'm WTT for a second baby. I don't know where time went!!

Don't feel pressured about your OH's age, he is very young and has plenty of time to come a dad. DH and I met when I was 19 and he was 30. He was 35 by the time our son was born.

It is tough watching other people having babies when you want to so bad but just can't for the time being. Try to keep your mind occupied with other things if it really upsets you.

 

[TwilightAgain]

Aw thank you all for your lovely words

I always say to OH that our time will come and we do have so much to pack into the next 3 years (OH said he wants to have our first by the time he's 33 at the latest which is only 3 years away) so that makes it easier knowing

I agree that sensible sucks

 

[Kiki1993]

I have, my best friend told me she is pregnant, I am chuffed to bits for her but it makes me ant a baby so bad, we are in exactly the same part of life she just bit the bullet and tried, whereas i don't think i can, i want to, so badly. But I am in college and only work 10-16 hours a week, we get by on our income and we would be okay if we had a baby now but we are hopefully moving to a nicer area, just trying to find somewhere in our budget that we can afford, and phoning council to see if they can move us, if not we will need to go private. (we don't really fancy buying anytime soon, maybe never because when we retire we want to just travel anyway).. but the main reason we aren't trying now is the wedding, don't want a baby at our wedding
I did have a wee cry, only because when we were younger we would play dolls and daydream about when we had kids together and now i've ruined that
I am so happy for her, it just makes me sad and it will sound silly but because we were waiting together it makes me feel a bit sad that she is where i wana be ... ill settle for being an auntie lol .. i just kinda wish we had tried, me andOH were considering trying at xmas, we were almost ready to do it when we decided to book te wedding and do that first.. so we didnt try which i regret, and turns out my friend and her guy had the same convo, at the same time, and decided to try and now they're having a baby and it does make me a little envious imma bad person.

 

[TwilightAgain]

I have, my best friend told me she is pregnant, I am chuffed to bits for her but it makes me ant a baby so bad, we are in exactly the same part of life she just bit the bullet and tried, whereas i don't think i can, i want to, so badly. But I am in college and only work 10-16 hours a week, we get by on our income and we would be okay if we had a baby now but we are hopefully moving to a nicer area, just trying to find somewhere in our budget that we can afford, and phoning council to see if they can move us, if not we will need to go private. (we don't really fancy buying anytime soon, maybe never because when we retire we want to just travel anyway).. but the main reason we aren't trying now is the wedding, don't want a baby at our wedding
I did have a wee cry, only because when we were younger we would play dolls and daydream about when we had kids together and now i've ruined that
I am so happy for her, it just makes me sad and it will sound silly but because we were waiting together it makes me feel a bit sad that she is where i wana be ... ill settle for being an auntie lol .. i just kinda wish we had tried, me andOH were considering trying at xmas, we were almost ready to do it when we decided to book te wedding and do that first.. so we didnt try which i regret, and turns out my friend and her guy had the same convo, at the same time, and decided to try and now they're having a baby and it does make me a little envious imma bad person.

You're not a bad person it's normal to feel envious, especially with something so precious. I've always wanted a daughter and my old best friend (I moved away a few years ago and we lost touch) never wanted children and if she did have any, she wanted a son. Turns out she fell pregnant unexpectedly and was blessed with two girls, life had a totally different plan for her At the time I felt insanely jealous because I knew she never wanted kids and I didn't even have a OH at the time, now i've been with mine for 3.5 years and i'm excited for what the future has to bring. I guess we all have to keep plodding onwards and see what will be will be. Everything happens for a reason

 

[LadyAnne]

Don't feel embarrassed, I'm sure many of us have been there. Sometimes I find myself wishing away the months until we start trying for our beaner, but really you'll never have this time again, wishing it away is just silly.
H and I were talking about this last night. As much as we want a family, we want stability to decrease stress, and also how important it is to just appreciate our 'alone' time before we add another member.
I find thinking about that helps.

 

[skycastles]

H and I were talking about this last night. As much as we want a family, we want stability to decrease stress, and also how important it is to just appreciate our 'alone' time before we add another member.

I definitely agree with this and about how hard it is to be 'sensible'. When I read about some ladies' reasons for waiting here, it makes me question why we are still waiting, because we have fulfilled most of the commonly mentioned criteria.
It helps when I remind myself of our current goals as a couple. One baby step at a time towards a baby!

 

[skycastles]

Does anyone else feel like this? It's so hard when you're waiting to try indefinitely

I was going to TTC this year, but after much discussion, we put it on hold indefinitely as well. It was disheartening but we know it's for a better standard of living for ourselves and our future children, so it's something that ought to be done. Good luck to all of us here.. Hope we get to do all the fulfilling and meaningful things we want while we wait!

 

[Kiwiberry]