Hi Kerri,
I hope everything is going well with you! I gave birth to a little boy on March 22nd this year at just 17+2. Everything was going well until 16+5 then I started to feel like something was wrong.
When I got a positive a few months after the loss I was surprised to find out my EDD is March 22nd. Sort of similar to your rainbow. I am trying to take it as a good sign.
I'm just coming up on 16 weeks, so I am getting right into the thick of it, so to speak. I'm really scared, but I am high risk and I'm being monitored weekly by MFM doctors. I haven't connected with this pregnancy yet, not like I did with my first two, because I know now that there is a real possibility that I still won't have a baby at the end of this. I flip flop between wanting to look at names, wanting to find out the gender, wanting to buy stuff and not wanting any of those things. We have only told a very select few about this pregnancy and don't plan on telling anyone else until after 20 weeks. We are aware it still might go awry after that point but I don't think it would be possible to hide it anymore and we don't want to keep DS from his extended family through the holidays.
Our high risk clinic offers counselling for people in our situation, maybe you could check with your clinic and find out if they do the same. Talking to someone about the added stress and getting validation of all your feelings is nice. Most people don't understand and don't know what to say.
Taking everything one day at a time has really help me. I have a calendar that I found on Just Mommies and I read it 1 day at a time. And telling myself over and over that each pregnancy is different. I have also started to buy little things for the baby after each good appointment. If, God forbid, I did lose this baby too I will keep those things to remember him/her by.
I'm truly sorry for you loss, it is heart breaking. I wish you strength and good health for you and your rainbow.
