Out before I started!

Discussion in 'TTC After A Loss' started by blueeyedgirl1, Jan 24, 2011.

  1. blueeyedgirl1

    blueeyedgirl1 PALTTTCAL!

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    Well, it's CD3 and I'm out of TTC this month before I even started. :(

    Provided my cycle is roughly the same as before the MMC, I will be ovulating in the middle of the weekend when I'm out of the country. I leave on the Saturday morning, expect to be ovulating on Sunday and will come back late Monday night.

    :hissy:

    Of course I'll be jumping OH just before I leave and as soon as I get back, but I've got to reconcile myself that it's a no-go this cycle. It's really depressing me, I'm all too aware of all the research which says I'm more fertile right now and should be BDing for England. *grrr*

    Part of me wishes I'd started straight away without waiting for AF like hospital told me to. I probably wasn't 100% physically healed yet by the time I ovulated, so I know deep-down that it was the right decision, but it's eating me up that I'm going to lose another month. :(
     
  2. xSamanthax

    xSamanthax DD1, DS1 and 1 Angel

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    If my cycle is roughly the same as before my MC i would be ovulating anywhere from tomorrow til Saturday... but i don't want to TTC until i've had a negative test result and got my :af: i'm so impatient though i just want it to hurry up!

    You will get your :bfp: again soon!!! :hugs:
     
  3. charby

    charby Well-Known Member

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    So sorry for your loss and feeling your pain on the impatient front. I believe sperm can live for up to 7 days in the right environment so as long as you dtd before you go you could still be in with a shout. I've read research that says the day before o/v is the best day.

    If it's any consolation I think you did the right thing waiting. Me and OH started trying again straight away but it turned out I wasn't as mentally ready as I thought I was. I kept breaking down out of nowhere and I when I got my BFN this month I was crushed. I still haven't had my AF 42 days after my m/c and I don't know if that's becuase of all the pressure I put myself under to conceive straight away, maybe my body's way of telling me I'm not ready.

    Good luck to you, hope to see you announcing your bfp really soon.
     
  4. blueeyedgirl1

    blueeyedgirl1 PALTTTCAL!

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    Thanks guys. To be honest, I wasn't ready yet, emotionally, until after I dealt with AF. I've been super emotional since AF started, I guess it's another step towards closure on the whole thing. Without going through this step I think it may have lingered in the back of my mind and caused guilt and other emotions to surface sooner or later. If I would have gotten pregnant again, I think I may have felt guilty to our first baby that we'd "replaced" him/her so quickly with the subsequent pregnancy.

    I'm saying the last of my goodbye to him/her now, and can start trying to say hello to our forever baby...whenever that may be. If it's not this month, hopefully it'll be next month.
     
  5. deshka

    deshka Mother of 1 and 1 angel

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  6. blueeyedgirl1

    blueeyedgirl1 PALTTTCAL!

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    ? sorry, don't know what you mean?

    I hope I've not offended anyone with my last post. I should make it clear these are MY thoughts inside MY head - not how I think people should feel! I'm a very pessimistic person, and have problems with anxiety. I usually "overthink" things but that's how I am. I was not saying that anyone else should be feeling the way I do.
     
  7. beth30

    beth30 2 Rainbow Boys and Preggo

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    I would totally get it on before leaving! LoL! I couldn't hurt right?
     
  8. babysimpson

    babysimpson Trying to conceive #1

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    Sperm can live in the right conditions for 5-7 days afterwards so you are still in with a chance of catching. I do believe you have to be ready emotionally as well as physically and give yourself as much time as you need to grieve for your loss. You will get your BFP xxx
     
  9. blueeyedgirl1

    blueeyedgirl1 PALTTTCAL!

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    Haha I've already warned OH I'll be accosting him veeeery early Sat morning before I leave, and then saying an enthusiastic hello when I arrive back on Monday. I'm really not even sure when I'll ovulate as it's my first "normal" cycle after the MC so I could even be late or early ovulating. I'll just keep jumping him. ;)
     
  10. Rebaby

    Rebaby Mama to 2 boys

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    :hugs: that must be really frustrating but i feel the same, in terms of, i know for sure that it wasn't right for us to start trying again before AF but i still feel a little sad in a way as now we've only got a couple of cycles before our hopes of having a 2011 baby at all are over (iyswim) and although we've always caught quickly in the past (usually 1st/2nd cycle) who's to say how my body might have reacted to the events of the past few months and the intervention of the ERPC etc etc...:shrug:

    So i do feel it's a bit unfair as at one stage we were expecting twins in July and now we might not have another one at all this year but then i am trying to stay positive and thinking if we get pregnant this cycle we'll have a new baby brother or sister for Toby in time for his 2nd birthday and i'm not in the slightest bit religious but definitely believe that things tend to work out in the end, so just have to hold on to thoughts like that.

    I will keep everything crossed for you anyway :thumbup:
     
  11. blueeyedgirl1

    blueeyedgirl1 PALTTTCAL!

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    I totally understand what you mean. I was using the due data calculator for my hypothetical next period and it placed us into December when we'd be expecting a baby conceived next cycle. But I guess I've got to get past what year baby will be born in, and just focus on that baby will be very happily conceived and spend a happy & healthy nine months inside me.

    *sigh*

    Not easy, though...
     

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