Overnight/Extended Visitation for Infants

[LilBean2010]

Hello Ladies...

It's been a while since I was here...life has been a zoo!

So...the baby's father wanted nothing to do with him for his first two months or so...on again off again. Baby was in the hospital 3 days as he just quit breathing and Dad didn't even both to show up.

Dad decides around Christmas that he wants to be Dad now and files for 50/50 custody, with no child support, to start NOW.

He has hired an attorney, I have had to hire an attorney and the long and the short of it is he is likely to get at least 48-72 hours each WEEK starting within 6 months as that is the new climate of the courts.

I have never objected to the 48-72 hours per week, but wanted it to start around 12 months instead of NOW. What is one supposed to do about breastfeeding? Baby goes to Dads right now for (2) 8 hour visits each week and I can send milk for that time, even for one 24 hour period, but 72 hours? That would be roughly 90 ozs of milk? He is allergic to milk and soy formula...medically documented?

Please don't get me wrong...I don't mind Dad spending time with the baby...I do think it is great he has a Dad who wants to be there instead of just walking away but I think the lack of consideration within the courts is unbelievable.

From what my attorney said, they have taken "equitable distribution" and applied it to children with little regard for the age, needs or relationship of parent and child.

Oh well...a year from now what will it matter...I guess? Having had the Bean in my body for 9 months and with me for 4 months I can't quite imagine 72 hours without him but it will just be an adjustment I suppose and we will all come out on the other side with the "new normal?"

 

[midwestbelle]

My FOB and I were haing this conversation last night. I could not imagine courts taking a baby away from a mother for more than a day. Especially a breast fed one. That would be almost like forcing you to switch to formula? But I honestly don't know anything for sure, those are just my thoughts.

 

[LilBean2010]

My FOB and I were haing this conversation last night. I could not imagine courts taking a baby away from a mother for more than a day. Especially a breast fed one. That would be almost like forcing you to switch to formula? But I honestly don't know anything for sure, those are just my thoughts.

I know! I guess some states have set guidelines and they usually stick to those but for the states that have the "best interest of the child standard" it is anyone's guess as to what could happen. They said Mom can't "lose" custody unless she is unfit or a danger to the child, but "sharing custody" is not "losing" custody. Shared custody is becoming the new norm.

The attorneys have said it would be best if we could reach an agreement on our own...but Dad is not being reasonable so I am likely wasting hundreds of dollars on an attorney trying to reach a settlement with a brick wall~

Are you and FOB together? What kind of visitation are you doing if not?

 

[midwestbelle]

no we are not. on our own, this is what we came up with. he can stop by after work when I am home (and dont mind him being there and some weekends) but as of right now he doesn't get to see him unless I am there. he is too little and FOB is too... idk. irrisponsible? thats not the right word. but something lol

 

[billy2mm]

i cant see them taking lo away from you when you are feeding for that long! esp if lo is allergic to formula! can you not put that down as a defence as to why lo shouldnt go for that long and let him have maybe 2 afternoons and one over night till you have weaned from bf?

 

[LilBean2010]

i cant see them taking lo away from you when you are feeding for that long! esp if lo is allergic to formula! can you not put that down as a defence as to why lo shouldnt go for that long and let him have maybe 2 afternoons and one over night till you have weaned from bf?

MY attorney is going to give it her best, but the judge in our case just ordered a 5 month old baby be split between his parents 4/3/4/3 every two weeks. Another judge in our County gave the parents 7 on, 7 off with a 4 month old. It is just sickening to me that all this is done with such young infants and no regard for their needs at that time.

At this point, I am trying to get Dad to work with me before we get to court, but I doubt it will happen. Either way, per the attorneys advice, LO will go to Dad's next Friday from 4 pm Fri to 9 am Sat. She said if that is the "status quo" when we get to court, she "may" leave it alone at least for now. Time will tell...