overnight visits with FOB

[jocelynmarie]

FOB and I are slowly coming to terms about visitation and what not, but we've reached another road block. Overnight visits. I've told him that I will not allow them until Aidan is able to recognize him. While obviously, I don't want my son away from me over night, this isn't actually about what I want, but what is best for him.

FOB will only be visiting some where between 2-4 times a year, so every time he's going to be a stranger to my son. He's not going to recognize him or feel comfortable with him for quite some time.

Everything that I've read online supports me that overnight visits are not recommended for very young infants and toddlers.. everything says that short visits are best, but has anyone gone through anything like this with any kind of personal experience?

 

[WhiteGeisha]

Hey

My FOB lives in another country and is only back about 3 times a year. By time LO is 2 (and this is when FOB will be back living here) he will have been back about 5 times in total ranging from 1 - 3 weeks.

I saw a solicitor and she told me because of the circumstances FOB having LO overnight would be far too stressful and traumatic for LO to stay overnights and no court would allow him overnight visitation until LO is at least 3/4 and he has made the effort to bond with her.

Not sure what the law is where you are but seriously your LO is too young to be staying overnight with someone he doesn't know or understand who he is. It's not right IMO.
x

 

[jocelynmarie]

Thank you so much for your response, that is my situation too. I'm in the US and FOB is in the UK.

In some states here there is a law that no overnight visitations will be given until the age of 3 under normal circumstances, but not in my state. However, I can't imagine a judge agreeing to making a baby be taken away from their mother, the only parent they know for more than a couple of hours at a time let alone over night.

 

[WhiteGeisha]

Thank you so much for your response, that is my situation too. I'm in the US and FOB is in the UK.

In some states here there is a law that no overnight visitations will be given until the age of 3 under normal circumstances, but not in my state. However, I can't imagine a judge agreeing to making a baby be taken away from their mother, the only parent they know for more than a couple of hours at a time let alone over night.

Do you want me to go kidnap him so he never returns?

Well in that case hun I would say it was very unlikely he would get overnight then. Even if that law is not in your state, with the circumstances, him having not seen LO that much etc I very much doubt he would get a night stay before LO is at least 3.

I wouldn't give it any more thought. x

 

[jocelynmarie]

Thank you so much for your response, that is my situation too. I'm in the US and FOB is in the UK.

In some states here there is a law that no overnight visitations will be given until the age of 3 under normal circumstances, but not in my state. However, I can't imagine a judge agreeing to making a baby be taken away from their mother, the only parent they know for more than a couple of hours at a time let alone over night.

Do you want me to go kidnap him so he never returns?

Well in that case hun I would say it was very unlikely he would get overnight then. Even if that law is not in your state, with the circumstances, him having not seen LO that much etc I very much doubt he would get a night stay before LO is at least 3.

I wouldn't give it any more thought. x

Yes please!!!!

 

[mommy2lilmen]

I agree, dont allow over night. Your not withholding the FOB or baby, its whats best and at that age, having FOB have baby over night will be hard on him and on baby, not to mention the stress it will have on you wondering if everything is ok and what not. It took me a year for my FOB (my older 4 boys dad) to accept him to have them over night and even then, its been 5 years now I dont feel comfortable.
Laws or not, I think you have to do whats best for that baby. Not cus the courts say FOB has rights to his son/daughter. When the child gets older, 3/4/5 or so, then give the choice or if hes around more often, like more than half the year, then switch it.
Long story short, I agree with the above, dont allow over night, unless in your house but that wont work