Overnights

[xKARENxBABYx]

hey everyone got a letter in today from FOB lawyer saying basically that can FOB have aiden Friday 6pm sat and sunday to 6pm well ovb i don't want overnight as aidens only 4months! he wants that one week then the next sat 6pm to sunday 6pm! he's only had aiden 4hours on his own. and only see's him max 6hours a week! do you think courts will allow him overnights?


just shows you that know he paying CSA he wants aiden overnights so he dont have to pay £4! only have to pay £10 a week argh he can keep his money

im worried sick

 

[xKARENxBABYx]

ps aidens bath time is dead on six! what the hell? arghhhh!!!

 

[xSophieBx]

I have no advice cos I havent recieved a letter or dealt with lawyers YET(I know I will be very soon though) But I've been advised that no court will allow overnight stays so soon, and wen he goes 4 access it will usually have 2 start in a contact centre. Also was the letter signed for? If not u could just pretend u didn't get it if u want to delay the process xx

 

[sophiew]

I assume court would normally make him have some smaller visits first.. As spending four hours with his child isn't enough. You can also ask that he go to parenting classes if you feel he wouldn't be able to cope. I understand why he'd want overnights, and why you'd be worried about it. It's always better to come to some agreement between yourselves... but court will be fair and just in the end, they just take a long time. xx

 

[xKARENxBABYx]

yeah though the reason i don't want FOB having aiden overnights is because his granddad is a pedophile and what FOB said to me when i was pregnant "Doesn't Matter If You Have A Boy Hes Only Interested In Girls!!!" so i don't want to put my baby at risk.. the only reason he gets aiden on a sunday if he dont take him out of his house! and we had a verible (sp?) agreement no overnights until aiden is 2 at least my mum witnessed that (would that make a diff) going to my lawyer on friday! hopefully she tells me he wont get overnights! as they drink ect...

 

[KiansMummy]

Hey contact with FOB and my LO has gone through the solicitors and mediation. I suggest you go and see your own soliciotor, she will fight your corner. If it goes to court chances are he wont get overnight, LO is to young yet and they always go with whats best for LO and at this age he needs his mummy. Longest he would probably get is a couple of hours one day at the weekend, and maybe an hour or so in the evening, dont worry hun! I no when i got the letter from FOBS solicitor i was devastated , but they just do whats best for LO and will always go at his pace.. IF you need to talk inbox me, im not good at wording things lol! GOod luck xx

 

[xKARENxBABYx]

hey me too im crap at wording things too! yeah we went to meadation too (though when i was pregnant) didnt work out well he just wants aiden to hurt me he hasent seen him since thrusday and he expects me to be all happy ect about him having him overnight! argh ive been crying all day (so has my mum lol) poor aiden sense it and is up know crying (think its abit of teething too though!) i have you on facebook i can leave private messages so FOB can't see them (he has me on facebook) he makes out hes such a good father! yet only has started paying through CSA cause i phoned them? i am willing to give him friday 10-5 sat 10-5 sun 10-5 (and that's alot considering he don't see aiden 4hrs a week at the min!) though would only be 3 fridays as have to get LO weighted. sorry everyone for the rant im just heart broken that he could do this to aiden! xx

 

[xoxsarahxox]

hiya hun. i dont think any court would allow him overnights at that age. i have and still am in a similar situation. me and my ex have been going through court for a while to sort out contact and he was also asking for overnights. his grandad is also a peadophile but is not in prision just on the sex offenders register. my ex started with 2 hours a week supervised contact (supervised as i bought up the issue of him not being capable of taking care of him on his own) so it was supervised by his mum. that went on for 6 months. and then recently it has now changed to 5 hours a week unsupervised. then in another 6 months it will be reviewed again and they are hoping for overnight 1 night a week. if you end up going through the courts and you make them aware of his grandad being a peadophile then someone called a cafcass officer shall get involved and look into the situation then they make reccomendations to the courts about what they should order for contact and weather or not he poses a risk to your child. my current contact order states that my sons grandad is not allowed to be there during contact because my OH believes his dad is innocent therefore should my son come to any danger with his grandad then my OH may not protect him. to be honest though it means nothing. there have been several times when i have dropped my son off for contact and his grandad is there. and since he has been going for 5 hours a week he has been going to his grandads house with his dad. i have let the solicitors no and the courts no but for some reason nothing has been done about it. if you and your ex can get along then i would highly reccomend finding your local family mediation centre and you and your ex go and see a mediator. they can be really helpful and they will talk with you both in the same room about ways to organise your contact and ways to progress it and it also gives you chance to discuss your concerns and put ideas forward to each other on how to improve things. mediation never worked for me and my ex as the second he walked in the room he got violent towards me so was removed from the building....but if you do get along it is worth a shot. xxx

 

[sophiew]

Youre offering a lot of contact.. A lot. So stick by it, Court will more than agree with you. He'd get once a week - once a fortnight otherwise. x

 

[WhiteGeisha]

^^^WSS. I saw a solicitor on Tuesday and my FOB is not asking for overnight just a few hrs everyday at his parents and because I have said no to him taking her away and offering him daily access at mine my solicitor told me that the court will go with me as I am not denying access and I am offering him lots of contact. As he has not bonded with her and she is only a baby he will only get this until she is older and he can prove to the court that he has built up enough time with her (I have been told to write down every visit and for how long). Until such time he will only be given what I am offering. If he refuses he will probably get access at a contact centre but not as often as I am offering him contact so it will take him double the time to build up the time he sees her in order for him to be allowed unsupervised access at his parents.

I am surprised a solicitor even bothered to write this to you tbh as my solicitor told me she would not even waste my £ on writing him a letter in response to emails that have been going back and fourth between us both as the court will not meet his demands and she told me I should sit and wait now until he gets in contact, and when he does, keep offering the same terms I already have.

HTH x

 

[xxfluffyxx]

hiya hun!! i havnt read thru the other replies...my son is just 15weeks old. 2weeks ago i was in court for the access! dont be worried.my fob had only had my son kaylen for about 4hours per week.it just got highered a little bit so that he can bond with the baby.he now has him five hours mondays and 5hours wednesdays! i hate lettin him go but my lawyer told me that usually he wouldnt get overnights without my consent until the age of 2 or 3.also if he has issued a request for those hours ,you can issue a request for the same day for maintenance.I was like you saying"he can keep his money" but i knew it would hit him where it hurt and the court hsa made him pay 50per week and also give me 500 towards buggy etc!! add me if you want! i havnt been on in ages!! lotsa luck!! xx