Overuse of ADHD diagnosis

[Nataliesmom]

Going back to the original question...

Yes, I agree. Even kids with ADHD, fetal alcohol syndrome, Tourettes, etc, need to be taught to hold themselves responsible for their actions. They need to learn about actions and consequences, and simply justifying their bad behaviour by saying, "oh, they can't help it, they have ADHD" is not doing them any favours. How are they going to be able to function later on in life if they don't know basic social rules?

I hope this doesn't come across as harsh, that's not my intention. I know it can be exhausting living day to day with kids with these disorders, and it takes a lot of work, and consistancy both at home and at school/daycare. I'm in no way taking away from the parents who are coping with this but it's those who ignore bad behaviour without addressing it that really bothers me.

I have a friend who's son has tourettes, and gets made fun of and beat up by a kid at his school who has ADHD, with zero consequences. Meanwhile, his tourettes leaves him with limited social coping skills which leads him to fight back, and HE gets suspended. The poor kid is only in grade 1.

Another friend of mine has a 12 year old with a neurological disorder which makes her somewhat delayed mentally, and gets picked on daily. Half the time she doesn't even know she's being made fun of, but when she does, and tells the teacher, the kid who picks on her gets away with it because of his ADHD. It makes me so angry!!

 

[JASMAK]

Well, alot of these kids have no intent to their behaviour...for example, in autism, kids may be 'rude' or 'oblivious' because their dissability limits the ability to be able to understand social situations. While in *some* circumstances, I think they should be held responsible, I would say that, for many instances, it's the so-called 'normal' people that need to be educated to be more understanding and knowledgeable of those with hidden dissabilites, and understand that just like someone in a wheelchair can't walk, dissabilities with behaviour-related disorders, limits these people with their behaviours. You can't just tell these people 'no' and expect them to understand and then behave in a way that a child with no behaviour-related disorder, just like you can't tell a person who has no mobility to get up and walk.

 

[Blah11]

Going back to the original question...

Yes, I agree. Even kids with ADHD, fetal alcohol syndrome, Tourettes, etc, need to be taught to hold themselves responsible for their actions. They need to learn about actions and consequences, and simply justifying their bad behaviour by saying, "oh, they can't help it, they have ADHD" is not doing them any favours. How are they going to be able to function later on in life if they don't know basic social rules?

I hope this doesn't come across as harsh, that's not my intention. I know it can be exhausting living day to day with kids with these disorders, and it takes a lot of work, and consistancy both at home and at school/daycare. I'm in no way taking away from the parents who are coping with this but it's those who ignore bad behaviour without addressing it that really bothers me.

I have a friend who's son has tourettes, and gets made fun of and beat up by a kid at his school who has ADHD, with zero consequences. Meanwhile, his tourettes leaves him with limited social coping skills which leads him to fight back, and HE gets suspended. The poor kid is only in grade 1.

Another friend of mine has a 12 year old with a neurological disorder which makes her somewhat delayed mentally, and gets picked on daily. Half the time she doesn't even know she's being made fun of, but when she does, and tells the teacher, the kid who picks on her gets away with it because of his ADHD. It makes me so angry!!

seems pretty convienent that both the bullies have adhd. Maybe more of a case of a parent going to a doctor because of bad behaviour and getting given some drugs and sent on their way than genuine children with ADHD. I know the docs in the US get paid a lot of money for prescriptions.

 

[JASMAK]

Going back to the original question...

Yes, I agree. Even kids with ADHD, fetal alcohol syndrome, Tourettes, etc, need to be taught to hold themselves responsible for their actions. They need to learn about actions and consequences, and simply justifying their bad behaviour by saying, "oh, they can't help it, they have ADHD" is not doing them any favours. How are they going to be able to function later on in life if they don't know basic social rules?

I hope this doesn't come across as harsh, that's not my intention. I know it can be exhausting living day to day with kids with these disorders, and it takes a lot of work, and consistancy both at home and at school/daycare. I'm in no way taking away from the parents who are coping with this but it's those who ignore bad behaviour without addressing it that really bothers me.

I have a friend who's son has tourettes, and gets made fun of and beat up by a kid at his school who has ADHD, with zero consequences. Meanwhile, his tourettes leaves him with limited social coping skills which leads him to fight back, and HE gets suspended. The poor kid is only in grade 1.

Another friend of mine has a 12 year old with a neurological disorder which makes her somewhat delayed mentally, and gets picked on daily. Half the time she doesn't even know she's being made fun of, but when she does, and tells the teacher, the kid who picks on her gets away with it because of his ADHD. It makes me so angry!!

seems pretty convienent that both the bullies have adhd. Maybe more of a case of a parent going to a doctor because of bad behaviour and getting given some drugs and sent on their way than genuine children with ADHD. I know the docs in the US get paid a lot of money for prescriptions.

She's not from the states, she's from canada...our health care doesn't work like that.

 

[Blah11]

oh, my bad!

 

[DanielleM]

Going back to the original question...

Yes, I agree. Even kids with ADHD, fetal alcohol syndrome, Tourettes, etc, need to be taught to hold themselves responsible for their actions. They need to learn about actions and consequences, and simply justifying their bad behaviour by saying, "oh, they can't help it, they have ADHD" is not doing them any favours. How are they going to be able to function later on in life if they don't know basic social rules?

I hope this doesn't come across as harsh, that's not my intention. I know it can be exhausting living day to day with kids with these disorders, and it takes a lot of work, and consistancy both at home and at school/daycare. I'm in no way taking away from the parents who are coping with this but it's those who ignore bad behaviour without addressing it that really bothers me.

I have a friend who's son has tourettes, and gets made fun of and beat up by a kid at his school who has ADHD, with zero consequences. Meanwhile, his tourettes leaves him with limited social coping skills which leads him to fight back, and HE gets suspended. The poor kid is only in grade 1.

Another friend of mine has a 12 year old with a neurological disorder which makes her somewhat delayed mentally, and gets picked on daily. Half the time she doesn't even know she's being made fun of, but when she does, and tells the teacher, the kid who picks on her gets away with it because of his ADHD. It makes me so angry!!

This bolded bit is totally absurd!!! A child with ADHD or Autism or Aspergers does not do things on purpose it is a disabilty. They don't sit there and think I am going to shout/hit this person but it doesn't matter because I have a condition I can blame it on. It is done on impulse and consequenses are not even factored in.

My son has Cerebral Palsy and is a wheelchair user so is obviously a visible disabilty. Would you come up to him and tell him to get up and walk because if he doesn't he won't be able to function later on in life? I think not. So why would it be acceptable to say this to a child who had a mental disability that you cannot see!?!

 

[Nataliesmom]

Well, alot of these kids have no intent to their behaviour...for example, in autism, kids may be 'rude' or 'oblivious' because their dissability limits the ability to be able to understand social situations. While in *some* circumstances, I think they should be held responsible, I would say that, for many instances, it's the so-called 'normal' people that need to be educated to be more understanding and knowledgeable of those with hidden dissabilites, and understand that just like someone in a wheelchair can't walk, dissabilities with behaviour-related disorders, limits these people with their behaviours. You can't just tell these people 'no' and expect them to understand and then behave in a way that a child with no behaviour-related disorder, just like you can't tell a person who has no mobility to get up and walk.

I agree with you, for sure. That's why it's so important that they have their parents, and teachers, etc to teach them about consequences because they can't come up with the concept on their own. Every incident is a learning opportunity for these kids. It's like they have to rewire their brain to be able to make the jump from action to consequences. Sweeping their behaviour under the rug using the sometimes mistaken label of ADHD is not the answer for any kid.

 

[JASMAK]

If only it was as easy as you have written it...to just rewire it. You have to take into consideration, that it probably just isn't one behavoiur, or skill they have to work on...it could be hundreds of things. It could be sitting in a chair for more than 1 minute. That could be the year long goal of this person...I know for my daughter, it was sitting 3 minutes without needing to get up. I am afraid you need to understand that it isn't as simple as you think.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Is this for real, I am sat here thinking how to reply...but seriously???

Yes, I agree. Even kids with ADHD, fetal alcohol syndrome, Tourettes, etc, need to be taught to hold themselves responsible for their actions. They need to learn about actions and consequences, and simply justifying their bad behaviour by saying, "oh, they can't help it, they have ADHD" is not doing them any favours. How are they going to be able to function later on in life if they don't know basic social rules?

I really dont know what to say apart from if you really had any experience you would realize how silly that sounds!

Also DLA is not just a form, its assessments etc I have no idea how people think you just turn up and claim!

 

[DanielleM]

Is this for real, I am sat here thinking how to reply...but seriously???

Yes, I agree. Even kids with ADHD, fetal alcohol syndrome, Tourettes, etc, need to be taught to hold themselves responsible for their actions. They need to learn about actions and consequences, and simply justifying their bad behaviour by saying, "oh, they can't help it, they have ADHD" is not doing them any favours. How are they going to be able to function later on in life if they don't know basic social rules?

I really dont know what to say apart from if you really had any experience you would realize how silly that sounds!

Also DLA is not just a form, its assessments etc I have no idea how people think you just turn up and claim!

I can only imagine the day to day difficulties you go through, even though we both have children with additional needs, those needs are different in other ways, mine being physically. You are a wonderful mum. xx

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Oh bless thank you hun. So are you xx

 

[Dragonfly]

I think a lot of things are misdiagnosed.

Going to agree with this there is a lot mixed up with attachment disorders and the likes.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

hmmm

 

[Nataliesmom]

Going back to the original question...

Yes, I agree. Even kids with ADHD, fetal alcohol syndrome, Tourettes, etc, need to be taught to hold themselves responsible for their actions. They need to learn about actions and consequences, and simply justifying their bad behaviour by saying, "oh, they can't help it, they have ADHD" is not doing them any favours. How are they going to be able to function later on in life if they don't know basic social rules?

I hope this doesn't come across as harsh, that's not my intention. I know it can be exhausting living day to day with kids with these disorders, and it takes a lot of work, and consistancy both at home and at school/daycare. I'm in no way taking away from the parents who are coping with this but it's those who ignore bad behaviour without addressing it that really bothers me.

I have a friend who's son has tourettes, and gets made fun of and beat up by a kid at his school who has ADHD, with zero consequences. Meanwhile, his tourettes leaves him with limited social coping skills which leads him to fight back, and HE gets suspended. The poor kid is only in grade 1.

Another friend of mine has a 12 year old with a neurological disorder which makes her somewhat delayed mentally, and gets picked on daily. Half the time she doesn't even know she's being made fun of, but when she does, and tells the teacher, the kid who picks on her gets away with it because of his ADHD. It makes me so angry!!

This bolded bit is totally absurd!!! A child with ADHD or Autism or Aspergers does not do things on purpose it is a disabilty. They don't sit there and think I am going to shout/hit this person but it doesn't matter because I have a condition I can blame it on. It is done on impulse and consequenses are not even factored in.

My son has Cerebral Palsy and is a wheelchair user so is obviously a visible disabilty. Would you come up to him and tell him to get up and walk because if he doesn't he won't be able to function later on in life? I think not. So why would it be acceptable to say this to a child who had a mental disability that you cannot see!?!

I understand that they don't do these things on purpose, which is why you have to take each opportunity to make them aware of what they did wrong. I'm not trying to oversimplify it, or say it's easy. My point was that if a parent is going to use the diagnosis of ADHD to sweep the behaviour under the rug it's not helping anyone. I know a little girl with fetal alcohol syndrome, and her adoptive mom takes classes to deal with just that - how to teach her daughter to make the connection between actions and consequences, and what she should do next time in the same situation. It's hard work, and never easy. I thought the OP's point was that people were using the sometimes overused diagnosis of ADHD to ignore and excuse bad behaviour.

I'm just saying that there are means to deal with these diagnoses, not to cure them. Are you saying that you shouldn't try to work with these kids to help them? Isn't that why there are so many programs for kids with these disorders?? Since they don't have regular impulse control, they need help to recognize triggers in themselves, and coping mechanisms.

 

[JASMAK]

personally, i don't discipline my children in front of other people. I think it's embarassing. Perhaps people may feel that I don't discipline my kids, but I am very strict. What I am trying to say, is just because YOU don't see it, doesn't mean it isn't happening. Sometimes I wonder what people want. There was this boy at my kid's school with autism, who hit another boy. I know both boys very well. I can tell you that the boy with autism is NOT to blame. He does not understand. The other boys mom was livid and just could not see past that. She kept talking to me for advice since my daughter has autism, I guess she thought I could advise her. I finally asked her...what do you want the school to do? Suspend him? He won't even know why. Detention? He has to be supervised anyways. HOnestly, in that case, if it was anyone's fault...it was probably the school for lack of supervision. Don't assume that the reaction YOU want isn't done, that nothing is being done. And if nothing isn't be done...that is just bad parenting, and nothing to do with any diagnosis. I have seen shit mother's from kids that don't have a diagnosis too...who will punch kids and get away with it...nothing to do with ADHD, autism, tourettes, or any other hidden dissability...unfortunately, this is a fine example of the discrimination I was talking about earlier in this thread.


also, yes...i think most do take classes...i actually don't know anyone whose child and/or parents aren't taking some sort of behavioural therapy....but i also don't go around telling people my daughter gets 4 hours of therapy a week...on top of what the school provides.

 

[feeble]

A number of my friends have been prescribed in the last year with schizophrenia, and put on the same medication... They are Actually just normal people, I think personally that the drug companies have a lot to do with diagnosis, it's whatever drug the doctors are taught to push at the time...

 

[Mindy_mini]

Ok I know I'm going to get utterly flamed for this but this is my honest opinion.

I think ADHD is a genuine condition BUT I would question the numbers of diagnosis made.

I really do beleive that SOME parents have little or no control and discipline over their children and will look for anything to excuse their poor parenting skills. The Internet offers a whole medical encyclopaedia (or 120,000,000) to them with just a few clicks and it's very easy to convince yourself you have a condition by reading things and finding symptoms then adding a bit to it (hell! The number of times I've convinced mysel I've got early onset PE or other pregnancy related illness)

I genuinely think that some people think of something, then read up a bit, link together two unrelated things and once they are armed with these facts, it's very easy To go to a GP and list the relevant symptoms and convince a GP - especially in the UK where (random fact i read years ago) GP spend on average 11 minutes on each condition during their training.

So this can lead to a GP giving a diagnosis which is correct for the symptoms listed but the symptoms themselves may have been exaggerated by the patient to find an answer.

Does that make sense?

 

[Nataliesmom]

Ok I know I'm going to get utterly flamed for this but this is my honest opinion.

I think ADHD is a genuine condition BUT I would question the numbers of diagnosis made.

I really do beleive that SOME parents have little or no control and discipline over their children and will look for anything to excuse their poor parenting skills. The Internet offers a whole medical encyclopaedia (or 120,000,000) to them with just a few clicks and it's very easy to convince yourself you have a condition by reading things and finding symptoms then adding a bit to it (hell! The number of times I've convinced mysel I've got early onset PE or other pregnancy related illness)

I genuinely think that some people think of something, then read up a bit, link together two unrelated things and once they are armed with these facts, it's very easy To go to a GP and list the relevant symptoms and convince a GP - especially in the UK where (random fact i read years ago) GP spend on average 11 minutes on each condition during their training.

So this can lead to a GP giving a diagnosis which is correct for the symptoms listed but the symptoms themselves may have been exaggerated by the patient to find an answer.

Does that make sense?

That is what I was trying to get at!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Do people know what ADHD is? It does NOT mean naughty!?

 

[feeble]

Isnt ADHD more about not being able to focus comfortably on tasks and needing help to retain focus?

I didnt realise it was 'behaving badly'