Pain - ignorance is bliss?

[hshucksmith]

I'm a first time mummy to be (not my first pregnancy though). I am not being naive to the pain I am expecting during childbirth, but would far rather not be told how bad it's going to be. I really don't want to attend any birthing classes in regards to pain relief etc! In my heart and mind I would rather just deal with it when I have to deal with it, rather than hear "it's going to be the worst pain of your life" and "it's like all your bones breaking in your body all at once...!". I have an idea of what I'm going to be like with pain. If I can deal with it then I will, and if I can't then I'm open to whatever pain relief the hospital is prepared to medicate me with. I am aware of the medication choices, pros and cons etc through self research. Right now, ignorance just seems bliss in regards to pain. Does anyone else feel this way? Am I just being stupid?

 

[Toms Mummy]

Not stupid at all, like you say you have researched the pain relief so know what you have available so will be able to make an informed choice if needed.

I on the other hand have done no pain relief research as I am scared of needles and not beingin control of my body. Therefore I have been going to yoga birth classes in order to better prepare me for having a natural pain relief free birth x

 

[Amygdala]

I don't think you're being naive. But I would recommend looking into some pain management techniques. They'll be helpful whether you have pain relief or not. I'm talking things like breathing techniques, relaxation and hypnobirthing techniques. I'd highly recommend the natal hypnotherapy cd programme but any sort of positive preparation will help you have a much better experience.
I went in with a very positive attitude last time. Then I encountered some less-than-perfect circumstances (battle-axe midwife, continuous monitoring lying on my back...) and I just panicked at the pain. I'm convinced if I'd been prepared and managed to calm myself down in that situation, the rest of my labour would have been a lot easier.
So my take-home message would be don't expose yourself to scary stories but do equip yourself with some coping techniques, just in case things get intense.

 

[tristansmum]

Nope I was the same both times. I basically didn't think too much about it. I knew it was gonna hurt (esp the second time lol) but ffigured there is no point worrying. Baby has got to come out and there is no way out. Once you go into Labour you deal with it. Yes it hurts but there are pain relief options and you get through it. Afterwards you forget very quickly how it felt. 4 months after my second I've forgotten again what it actually feels like. X

 

[Larkspur]

I went in with the attitude that an unmedicated birth was normal (and it is!) and that while I didn't buy the hypnobirthing promises of a pain-free birth, whatever happened, I could handle it. I didn't really listen to the people who kept telling me, "You'll be begging for an epidural" (that wasn't an option for me at a birthing centre anyway, haha) and if someone started telling me a horror story, I politely declined for them to finish it.

A natural birth was definitely the toughest thing I've done physically AND there were times during it where I thought, "Have I done the right thing here?!" and joked about changing my mind and wanting an epidural but even if my midwife had said, "Sure, no trouble, we'll just pop over to the hospital now" instead of laughing at me, I wouldn't have taken one. It was really hard, but it was fine, IYKWIM. Like a PP said, you just deal with it. It does help to be mentally prepared to tough it out though.

 

[MindUtopia]

I'd really strongly suggest doing some preparation, learning about your options and preparing for other ways to cope than pharmaceutical pain relief if that's not what you want. Honestly, I had a completely natural home birth (first and only baby, so far) and it really wasn't bad at all. I found it very manageable. Uncomfortable and tiring at times (was doing lots of squatting), but I never felt like I needed any pain relief or like I couldn't cope. BUT I also did a lot of research on what I wanted and alternative ways to manage any pain (because having a home birth, I wouldn't have many pharmaceutical options available to me). I think preparing was really important. I learned strategies to cope and make things easier (did natal hypnotherapy, plus just did yoga and practiced relaxed breathing) and they worked! If I hadn't had those at my disposal, it would have been a lot more difficult. Also, if I had needed to go into hospital and needed a higher level of care, it was important to know enough about what was happening so I could make the best and safest decision for me and my daughter. All pain relief drugs (other than gas and air) do have side effects and are linked with birth complications. If you get to a point where you might need them, I think it's really important to know what you would be comfortable with so you don't have regrets later. In that sense, I don't think ignorance is bliss.

But you've read up on it and as long as you know how you feel and what you'd choose if it came down to it, then that's enough. If you need it, you'll probably be glad that you can make an informed choice at the time. If you don't (and you likely won't), then it won't matter that you took those classes or did that reading or whatever. I never took the hospital antenatal class (didn't plan to birth in a hospital and didn't plan to use pain relief) and I didn't feel like I missed anything. But the class I did take was really helpful, focused on how birth happens and managing pain naturally. I don't think you need the big scary this is what an epidural is kinda class to be prepared, as long as you are still preparing somehow. But really, birth is so very manageable if you make it manageable (no induction, stay upright and walking for as long as possible, don't lie on your back, stay at home as long as possible if you are planning a hospital birth, etc.). I had knee surgery and also severe pneumonia a few years ago, THOSE were painful. Birth wasn't bad at all. It wasn't close to the worst pain I've ever felt. And I'm planning another home birth for the next baby (when we have him/her) too.

 

[Pearls18]

Nothing wrong with that so long as you are well versed in the pros and cons of pain relief, I think it is also really important to learn about the stages of labour, by understanding things such as transition it will help you make more informed choices in the throws of it all. Tbh it doesn't matter how well informed you are on labour, it will never prepare you for whatever pain it is you experience, we all experience pain differently and it's impossible to imagine, even though I have given birth before I could barely describe the pain to you, so I think we all go into it ignorant to a degree, but I think in terms of knowledge it is really important to know what your body is going to go through, not in terms of the pain but the physical process.

 

[MrsClark24]

Ok, so this might sound strange, but I'll say it as I found it...

... I didn't think the pain was that bad! I was waiting for the point where I was wanting to die because the pain was so bad... But it never came. Don't get me wrong, it hurts of course it does, but everyone told me that there would be a point where I just couldn't take anymore and I would want anything to get out of pain... That never happened for me. I got to 10cm with 2 paracetamol and I only had gas and air for the pushing.

Yes it hurts, I'm not gonna lie. But it wasn't as horrific as I thought it was going to be. I could have gone longer.

I went in with no birthing lessons or anything like that, I didn't want to be scared either. I just went in with an open and calm mind, you know it's gonna hurt but you have to go through it. So I just... got my head around it and got on with it!

Good luck!

 

[MoldyVoldy]

i agree with people who said learn techniques to deal with the pain.

if you end up getting an epi, that's ok too.

i got an epi at 8 centimeters because i was an idiot and didn't learn pain techniques. it wasn't until i was GETTING my epi that i learned that humming apparently was my technique. now i know, huh?

 

[Emma&Freya]

Best thing you can do is not listen to anyone.

People told me labour was really painful and its the worst pain youll ever experience but I didnt find it as bad as what people made out to be. Dont get me wrong it hurts but not bones breaking.

I went into hospital at 6cm with Mia, my first I was in at 2cm. My Mum went into hospital at 8cm so it goes to show different pain thresholds.

Id definatly recommend looking into pain reliefs, I found myself much more relaxed knowing what I could get

 

[Amygdala]

I just want to add, it's important to keep in mind that every labour is different. It's great that some women don't find it too bad and have a really positive experience. I went into my first birth expecting this and with a very positive attitude. I won't go into details, but let's just say, my experience was different. Afterwards I felt like a complete failure for not having "enjoyed" my birth, like it was somehow my fault that I found it painful. That's why I think it's important to keep an open mind. Don't let anyone scare you, you might find it a breeze. But if you don't, you don't and that's fine as well. You can still do it naturally or you can opt for pain relief, if that's what you need/want at the time. Try not to expect too much (either positive or negative) from your birth experience or yourself, just take it as it comes!

 

[Shadowy Lady]

I think it's best to be as educated as you can about what happens during labour and what your options are. I don't agree that ignorance is EVER a good thing. But you should try and not listen to too many horror stories as labour, though painful, is a natural process and women go through it every day. If not, our specie would not survive.

I admit that labour was VERY painful for me but also I was ucky to have a short labour (about 4 hours from start to finish). I did manage naturally but I was tempted with epi just didn't end up getting it. There's nothing wrong with having pain relief I think especially if your labour is very long and/or you have back labour. The whole point is getting your baby here safe and sound.

Good luck!