PAL after Recurrent Losses - come join us!

[hopeful23456]

Hi Croy! I thought about that too with the highchair... I guess it depends on how tall your chair is and if you are sitting or standing? I'm going to ask my friend about that.
I am not going to share a bed with the babies so don't have a review for the bed on your link.

 

[heart tree]

WOW!!! Thanks Hopeful! I'll definitely get the book. I think I've been in such denial about the fact that I'm actually getting a baby at the end of this, that I've avoided doing any type of research on what I need to buy. I have a fair amount of knowledge just from being a preschool teacher and nanny. But it's been a few years and I haven't had to think about it. The curtains I plan to make will be blackout. That much I know. And a white noise machine is essential. I was thinking of having baby in the room with us for the first 3-6 months, but not in our bed. And I've also read the Pack and Play is a must have.

I'm going to put a list together with all of your recommendations and start looking more closely at them. But that book is something I'll try and pick up tomorrow.

I have to make my friend's baby blanket tomorrow. I just want to power through it so I can start focusing on making things for my baby. The faster I can get hers done, the sooner I can start the projects I really want to do! I can't wait!

 

[Pretty Please]

Morning girlies,

Hows everyone?

A few recommendations.....

On your lists I would strongly recommend you buy a pacifier / soother. I was definite I didnt like them but when you feel a dead zombie completely desperate when you baby is screaming the house down, wont sleep being rocked, put down, walked having a dummy (£3) is defo worth it. I said I defo wouldnt use them as I think they are ugly but Elliott needed it and it was a god send. It was worth a million dollars. Worth just buying one to put at the back of the cupboard might not need to use it.

Also, a baby monitor - one thing I messed up on is having the other side where you can listen to your baby - I would defo get a battery powered one. I got an electrical one and a bit of a pain as you cant take it out into the garden always needs to be pluged into the wall.

Mobile - defo battery powered one - I got fisher price which is remote control so you can literally pop your hand throught the door and press the gadget without baby seeing (i dont know if you have those in the states) it runs for 15 mins music and lights.

I would also get in some meds for baby and when you need it you wont have it.

Make sure you have a good ear thermometre to check for temps. I got caught out this week having a naff thermometre and had to run to boots as El has had a fever 4 days now chest infection......

Chair - dont know what you call them - think bouncer chair when you can put them in it and you arent tired to them.

Play gym - where they can look at toys when they are on the floor.

Sling? dont think you are so limited in the states by needing to carry your baby .....

 

[petitpas]

Morning!
Happy 15 weeks, NSN, happy 18 weeks to the crowd

Heart, I am pretty sure that the reason your father left was not you. He will have had deep-rooted issues with your mother. It shouldn't have any effect on his relationship with your daughter and you might find that he really warms to being a grandfather!

Croy, have you looked at co-sleepers like the Troll or Bed Nest? They attach to the side of the bed leaving you more space and also eliminating the barrier between you and baby.

As for the highchair, I don't think you'll find one that is easier to clean and cheaper than the Ikea one (especially, if you have two babies to feed ). I have one in the garage that my mum bought for my nephew when he visits. I always wanted the chic Bloom high chair but seeing what mess my nephew made in seconds and how easy this chair was to clean made me rethink my decision

My biggest shopping discovery this week is that you can get custom stickers for Ikea furniture to snazz them up!
There are several websites that do them and they come for wardrobes, shelves, chest of drawers etc. This should give you an idea:

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Decorative-VENEE...&otn=3&po=LVI&ps=63&clkid=6736938562134180786

Fili, I'm not sure it'll be such a disaster if af comes today. I mean, it all depends on when you get your next af and it's not sure your cycle will be a certain number of days, right? So you might still be fine!

 

[3xscharmer]

They do make adjustable highchairs - Olivia's is adjustable so it can be tall enough to stand and feed, but short enough to sit in a chair and feed her too!! Not sure what kind it is, but I'll bet it's not the only one!

*edit* just checked, it's a graco!

 

[heart tree]

This is a great conversation. So very helpful. I feel like we'll all be so prepared when our babies arrive. You ladies are the BEST!

Pip, thanks for the bit about my father. I honestly do think some of it had to do with me. Not me as a person, but me as an idea if that makes sense. His father was awful. He didn't abuse my father, but more the opposite. He ignored my father. He wasn't warm and loving. My father swore he would never be a father like that. He wasn't ready to have children when my mother got pregnant. My mother was shocked when she went to visit him at work when she was 7 months pregnant with me and none of his work mates knew she was pregnant. He didn't tell anyone. He wasn't excited. He's a super athlete and I think if he had to have a kid, a boy might have also been a sports fanatic like him. My parents were together for 12 years before I was born. He left 6 months after I was born. He wasn't in my life for the first 2 years. He never fought for partial custody of me. All that being said, I know he loves me and I have grown to love him in a different way than I love my mother or my step-father. My father is a good man. He did try to make an effort with me after I was 2. He just wasn't ready to be a father. He has never said one bad word about my mother. He really respects her. Truthfully, I'm glad they divorced when they did. They are completely different people (she's extremely political and liberal, whereas he is fairly conservative and not political at all). It's funny to me that they were ever together. Because they divorced when I was so young, I never knew them together. I never had to mourn their divorce. And the best part is, I got two amazing step-parents out of the deal. And my step-father came with 2 of his children who I adore and who are a full brother and sister to me as far as we're all concerned. And then my mother and step-father had a son. Another bonus for me. Another sibling. I'm ok with all of this. I've done a lot of introspection about this and have talked to both of them about it. Parents are humans too and aren't perfect. Still, I've never seen my father hold a baby. He's still awkward around little kids. It will be funny to see him with his grand daughter. I hope it will help him turn a new leaf.

Whew, that was long. Sorry about that!

 

[filipenko32]

Heart I agree with pip, also men change as they get older. I reckon he will be a completely different grandfather. Also it's different being a grandfather as there's no 'responsibility' as such. Some people really don't even want children just as much as we do want them. My ex boyfriend of 6 years never did or want to get married in fact and that was a deal breaker for me. Luckily I was 23 at the time and not 40! x x

 

[croydongirl]

Hopeful - Most of the highchairs I was looking at are adjustable so they can go down to table height, or be extended higher and its really easy to do it.

Pep - I have looked into some of those options and I would love to find something like that which would work but our bed frame goes around the edge of our mattress and sicks out quite a few inches so most of the things that are made to connect to the edge wouldn't fit, there would be a gap. They were the things I was looking at first, but I might have to go and see more in person how they can connect. Also our bed is pretty high up so we need something that has leg extensions too. Thanks for the suggestions though, I was hoping to find something that didn't have the barrier. I just know that if I have to actually get out of bed to put them back to sleep somewhere else I will end up with them sleeping on or next to me more often than not! If I have something right there I will put them down! ha ha Hubs suggested we try that little in the bed bassinet thing one night just to see if we could sleep with it there. Its probably a good idea to find that out before there is a baby in it! ha ha

Heart - Its so true about men changing as they get older. My dad and I never had a very close relationship. We are both very stubborn and like to be right and so we clashed a lot. I think he was a bit resentful of the attention I got from my mum too that he used to get - I was a first child after that had been married over 9 years so I think it was a shock to the system. Now he volunteers in the nursery at my parents church an is super mushy over babies, I wold never have thought I would be excited to see him as a Grandad but I totally am. I am already feeling bit guilty that I love so far away from them so they won't get to see the babe that often. Thanks goodness for Skype at least.

I also had another thought. When I nannied most recently the family had a video monitor. It was not a fancy one, but had a little screen on the hand held part and a camera mounted on the wall in the nursery pointed at the crib. At first I thought it was a bit excessive but I grew to love it. I could see if the little one started moving so I knew if she pooped and I could get up there change her and put her back to sleep before she ever woke up. If I missed it and she woke up dirty that was it, nap over. Also I could see if the noises she made were "I am awake come and get me", or if they were, "I am just working though something in my sleep" It meant I didn't disturb her before she was ready to get up. So my initial judgement is coming back to bite me because I have one on my list now!

My friend also lent me a fantastic book called, The eco-nomical baby guide (Down-to-earth ways for parents to save money and the planet) Its great and has a huge range of options for every category. I would consider myself middle of the road when it comes to green issues but this has ways for everyone, with no time or tons of time to save money (and the planet). There is a while section on diaper options, food and tons of other things, Its the first book I am reading that is really getting me excited about whats about to happen!!

 

[Mrs Miggins]

My dad was a CRAP dad to me when I was a child. He didn't come into my life until I was 5 (not his fault, my mum left him when I was a baby) but when she went back to him he spent the whole time in the pub, in strip clubs, at football and rugby matches, probably with other women, anywhere but home with me and mum. We left when I was 8, he eventually had my two sisters when I was 20 and 22. He was the model bloody father to them, they got family holidays, all the stuff I never had. But when I was born he was 19 and just not ready. I love him to bits and he is a fantastic Grandad to my daughter, he dotes on her. For him it was just too much too soon. I've only read this last page so forgive me for sticking my two pennoth in, I just wanted to tell you that in my experience crap dads can make good grandads.x

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

Ladies after today i beg you always wash your teeth properly and use mouth wash

I was warned your teeth are prone to going bad in pregnancy, before pregnancy mines werent to bad, i went dentist today and my wisdom tooth has totally rotted and it was started rottig the tooth next to it. I have to have the one next to it filled and the widom tooth has to be pulled because its not fully through and they cant clamp it to fill it.

Im terrified :'(

 

[Pretty Please]

The baby sucks calcium from your teeth - loads of woman need lots of work after pregnancy. Remember u get the work done for free on Nhs . Hope it doesn't hurt and it's over quickly

 

[heart tree]

Thanks for your dad stories. It helps to read. Oddly I moved far away from my mother when I moved to California and now only live an hour away from my father. I didn't move here for him, but he just happened to live close to San Francisco where I always dreamed of living. DH and I are going to my father and step-mom's tomorrow for lunch. The last time I saw them was on Thanksgiving. The same day I found out I was pregnant. They are very happy for us. We'll tell them it's a girl tomorrow. I'm looking forward to his reaction. My stepmother told me today that they want to help buy the baby furniture! I'm so excited!

Tracy sorry about your teeth. I've heard that teeth take a beating in pregnancy. I take very good care of mine but do need to make a dentist appointment. This is a good reminder.

Hopeful I bought the Baby Bargains book! Can't wait to look at it. And Croy I might go get the one you mentioned. I like to think of myself as fairly Eco-groovy. I'm not a fanatic but try to be as responsible as possible.

I just bought the cutest fabric to make another blanket. It's very girly! I'll post pics once I've made it. Trying to get my friend's baby blanket done today though.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Heart are you having a girl???

 

[heart tree]

Yes I am! I found out on Wednesday. I really wanted a girl. I'm on

 

[Mrs Miggins]

God...I'm welling up too, I know how much you were hoping for a girl. I'm sooooo thrilled for you. I adore having a daughter, I didn't find out what I was having but when I had her it was the dream come true with icing on top! Oh I'm so so happy for you.

 

[heart tree]

Thanks honey. You're making me well up! I hope you join us here very soon. I've been reading the RMC thread and am saddened by all the new women. I hold a special place in my heart for those of you who have been there a while and root for you guys every day.

 

[daviess3]

Hi ladies, how r we I haven't read everything I just skimmed over!! Lol

I haven't spoken to my dad in 9 years don't miss him he walked out when I was 3! Never contributed towards us in fact my mum used to pay for us to fly an go an see him! He moved to Scotland! He used to call me once a month an moan that I never called him!

When my sister had Harry my nephew when I was 21 an he made the effort 9 months later to come down an see him! My sister was away on a trip so I met my dad for the first time in 4 years we sat an had a cup of tea he asked me if I took sugar in my tea! An it settled in my head I don't no this guy! He walked around holding my nephew calling himself grandad! I wanted to laugh my step dad has looked after my nephew always been there fed him changed him. Looked after him an has done for all 3 of my nephews ever since they were newborn!

An so I changed my number that was that!! Don't miss him at all! Sorry if u sound bitter but that's just me! I don't feel anything! I have a handful of good memories with my dad as a child an that's it! X

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Thank you. I haven't been stalking here lately, I took the last AF really hard. But I love it when you girls swing by to say hello. I hope to be joining you soon, along with the others.

 

[heart tree]

Davies, it just goes to show you that blood doesn't make you family. I was always so much closer to my stepfather than my real dad.

You don't sound bitter at all. You sound like a daughter who didn't get the love and attention she deserved from her father. There are so many of us with father stories! I'm so glad my husband is going to be an adoring father. He already is and he hasn't even met the baby yet.

Mrs. M, I haven't been posting on the RMC thread because there are so many new women who don't know me. I don't want to come over and post all my good news when I know how much the lovely ladies there are struggling. But I promise to pop over to say hello.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

That's understandable, although I'm sure they would all be happy to meet a graduate of RMC who is a success story. How are you feeling now? Does it seem real?