PAL after Recurrent Losses - come join us!

[Embo78]

Happy 18 weeks pups

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

Somebody has invaded my bed and is snoring! how rude!!

 

[bumpyplease]

Happy 18 weeks pups!
Congrats on moving up a box Jenny! Exciting!
Sorry for the ladies feeling unwell today, Davies toothache is one of the worst pains I hope the paracetamol eases things xx

 

[Embo78]

Davies I'm in complete sympathy. I got an infection in my wisdom tooth a few weeks ago! On a Saturday!!! I was literally up all night writhing about in agony
Had to go to the emergency dentist (through Nhs direct) and he put me on amoxicillin.
Hope it's eased up for you x

 

[Embo78]

Whoops double post :/

 

[jenny25]

Aww Davies if you have whiskey put a small amount on a cotton wool bud and put it on your tooth works like a anaesthetic and it will numb the pain xxx km feel much better wasn't sick this morning so no hatrick lol xxx


Wooo I'm excited hahaha all giddy today xxx

 

[daviess3]

Ah thanks ladies will leave it until tonight fab idea! X

 

[3xscharmer]

Just got in a huge fight with DH, I am shaking right now I'm so mad!! I got my computer in January and bought it wtih my money and got on DH's user name and found out he'd been looking at porn sites...so I told him to stop that BS so it wouldn't pop up and watch the damn videos we have (I'm okay with the videos we used to watch them together when we were teens) so DD cracked my computer screen last night and this morning she locked me out of my username and I couldn't get in, so I pull up DH's with Olivia sitting in my lap and I get online to get back on here to talk to you guys and don't you know that nasty porn popped up and THANK GOD DD was looking at the tv instead of the computer! I just called him and told him not to come home, I checked his history just to make sure it wasn't something for a month ago and nope, just last week....Thing is I don't know when he's looking at it b/c we go to bed at the same time and when he has to take care of himself he goes to the bedroom and I'm in the living room on the computer and we only have one computer, which means he has to be looking at it sometime when I'm around! I am pissed off to say the least, I mean I know he's a guy, but he's a fucking dad now too and he has to grow the hell up and make some damn sacrafices!! I just want to pack my stuff and leave and I know some of it is really to protect DD, but some of it is hurt feelings too, I mean I've been BD'ing once a week and helping him out a little too...WTF!! SOrry to lay this on yall, but I don't have anyone else to talk to and I might even call his mommy since he's such a mommies boy!! I've had enough, I think when I take this computer back I am going to have them lock that crap I mean I don't look at it so I don't care if they lock the entire damn computer so that no-one can access it ever!

Hope everyone else is having a good day!

 

[jenny25]

Hub that's hard and I understand he needs to stop bein selfish and respect your feelings xxxx Paul and I have no had it since December and he ain't sorted himself as far as I'm aware xxx

 

[3xscharmer]

So he just called me back and I asked him when he looked at it and he said sometime when I went to bed early last week and I told him that I didn't go to bed early last week and he swears up and down he did but I am 100% sure that I didnt as a matter of fact I specifically remember being tired because I was staying up with him! So he just said he's a grown damn man and I reminded him he's also a dad and he needs to grow up and he said fine that he just won't do anything anymore and I told him bought time he got the damn hint! I am so pissed still, I have yelled and screamed at him and am trying not to freaking cry and I know it's not good for the baby but what the hell am I supposed to do? I'm trying to calm down but I just want to pack my stuff and leave!! I am so upset!

 

[3xscharmer]

Thanks, I fine with him DIY but he doesn't have the computer then, I usually do and that means that he's looking at it when he's just hanging out doing nothing...why??

 

[daviess3]

Oh 3 x it's an awkward situation hun, if he has a high sex drive is he doing it do not to stress u out with him wanting it all the time? I no its not about that it's the porn side but is there a time he's up early etc? I can imagine u feel hurt but I would take a big lot of fresh air calm down count to 10 or maybe 30! Lol an breathe we r from Venus men r from mars!! Hugs to u xx

 

[3xscharmer]

Thanks, I'm the one with the high sex drive and when not pg I get turned down by him half the time! He gets up at 7:30, leaves at 7:45 and is at work at 8 so no time there! The thing is when that crap popped up a month ago, I told him to stop looking at that crap and he said he wouldn't do it anymore...he LIED! I hate being lied to! He is staying elsewhere tonight because it was either that or I leave and he asked me what I wanted and I told him not to come home. Thing is I calmed down abit and am still feeling this way and like I told him, if DD had been looking at the screen that would've been it for me, I'd be going and getting a divorce b/c I asked him to stop looking for that very reason, DD likes to push buttons on the computer and you'd be surprised what she pulls up, she's pulled up B&B before when the computer wasn't even online! It just sucks that he lied to me and now I feel like I'm not enough... and if I'm not enough for him, that's fine, I'll be enough for someone else! Had to say that to make myself feel better lol! ANd I can promise you that if I was doing something he didn't like and I told him I'd quit and lied to him and did it anyway, there would be hell to pay! I mean this is supposed to be a partnership, I have enough trouble trusting ppl because the ppl I trusted who were supposed to love and take care of me (family) were the ones who hurt me and I was finally to the point that I trusted DH 100%, which is more than I have trusted anyone in these past couple of years and for him to do that has completely destroyed that!

 

[hopeful23456]

3x- i have no advice but sorry you are so upset! I've never been in that situation before. It's nothing against you though that he is doing it. Would suck to get the pop ups though, one of our guy friends got drunk years ago and was all over those site on my computer so dh reformatted it to get rid of the pop ups. It will probably change when you get older too...As he will be too tired
But the lying about it is unacceptable and immature

Davies- hope the tooth gets better!

Puppy- happy 18 weeks!

Jen- congrats on moving up another block!

Tracie- is diva snoring again? I bet the snores are cute

 

[3xscharmer]

THanks hopeful, I think I'm more upset that he lied! I mean we've been together 8 years and it took 6 of those to finally be able to trust him...not that he ever did anything for me to not trust him but I just have a hard time trusting ppl (I was abused as a child) and last week (which was when he was looking at it according to his history) we were having problems with the tv, so he gave me the computer so I could get online and see what was wrong...well I was on his screen name, and if I had checked it then I would've seen what he was doing...BUT I DIDN'T because when he told me he would stop, I trusted him and now I just feel stupid for allowing myself to finally trust somebody and for letting them hurt me because of that stupid trust and now I'm not sure how long it will take for me to regain that, actually he's the first person in my life that I have ever truly trusted and now I don't even have that! Life sucks lol!! HOpe yall are having a better time than me! I have a feeling I'm going to be hurt for a long time.

 

[petitpas]

3x I am sorry to read about your heartache. I think for me, the lying would be worse than porn. Maybe it is because it is porn and your DH feels ashamed that he lied? Could you maybe talk to him, find out what it is that motivated him to access the sites and figure out a way around it? For example, maybe he is not getting enough from you but does not want to put any pressure on you. That's why he accesses the websites. But he is ashamed and he does not want to pressurise you.
So you could say ok, check out the porn, but do it when you are alone and in a way that is kept private from both you and your daughter.

Sorry, I know you are very worked up about this and he needs to make it up to you but I hope that when you think about it and find out the details it won't be the big deal breaker. You have a good husband there. He made a mistake but you can work through it.

 

[3xscharmer]

Thanks Pet, I hope we will be able to work through it...but a couple of years ago DH (when he was just my bf) stayed over at his cousin adn cousin's girlfriends house and apparently he accidentally walked in on her after the shower...he didn't tell me and one night his phone pocket dialed me and I could hear DH and his buddy talking (sometimes when DH calls me he can't talk immediatley and I just stay on the line and after a minute he's able to talk to me) so I stayed on the phone and got to hear all the sexist things they were saying about his cousins girlfriend (who is a friend of mine) and I confronted him about it and he told me that he walked in on her but didn't tell me because he thought I'd over-react...but apparently he told every freaking body else and was having a good time talking about her rack and how nice it was and it took several months to get over that and now I just feel like its the same thing again, he's looking at other women and not telling me about it and lieing about it and how's that supposed to make me feel? I imagine he talks to his buddies about it too!

 

[3xscharmer]

Okay, first I just felt angry (b/c I almost accidentally exposed dd to porn) and then betrayed because he lied...and slightly insecure as to why I'm suddenly not good enough (I mentioned we had videos but it's been like 3 years since we've watched one and to my knowledge he hasn't been looking online as we havent had a computer in about a year!) Now I am really confused, DH and I have fought plenty of times and it always comes down to me having to leave as DH reminds me that this is his house (I didn't want this stupid house and refused to sign my name on anything to do with it) or he insists that I sleep on the couch b/c that's HIS bed...well, he came home and I told him to pack and he got enough stuff for Tuesday...Now I'm confused b/c
1. HE has NEVER not argued with me before, he always has to have the last word and has WON EVERY single argument we've ever had and
2. He actually left the house, I mean he won't even be the one to sleep on the couch when we're fighting but to freely give up the house is just NOT HIS caracter at all!

So now of course insecurity is in full swing and I'm wondering if it's just the guilt of the porn or is it more? I don't want to talk to him right now though so I guess there's no way to know! On the other hand How bad is it that he left and I haven't even shed a tear? I am actually glad he's out the house right now because if he were here I wouldn't be able to be in the same room anyway!

 

[heart tree]

Hey all, sorry I wasn't around today. I had to attend a workshop that my agency was putting on. I basically just sat around as the presenters talked. But I had a few strangers congratulate me on my pregnancy. I guess I don't look chubby anymore. I officially look pregnant!

Charmer, I'm sorry you are feeling like this. I don't have much advice for you. You feel how you feel. When I was in my late teens/early 20's I had similar issues around porn and boyfriends who would sneak around to look at it. It took me a while to realize that it was my own insecurities. And it was those insecurities that drove them to hide it from me and lie about it. Over time I've come to realize that men are visual creatures and I'm not going to be able to change that. I don't know when I changed, but now I just don't care. In the grand scheme, it is such a minor thing. And when it isn't a big deal in a relationship, it removes the need for lying about it, which in turn takes the sting out of it.

I'm not sure I can convince you to just let it go right now, but that would be my advice. I've felt how you feel and it sucks. But in the long run, it's simply not worth it to get mad over.

I'm not sure what's going on in your relationship otherwise. Is there something else going on with you two? I have no idea. I hope you both are able to cool off and can sit down and talk about it tomorrow or the next day.

It's been a long day and I don't know if anything I wrote just made sense.

Off to bed now.

 

[daviess3]

Hi heart hope ur not to tired! X
3x hope it's all settled down now my lovely, Horrible when u argue I hate that feeling xx

How's everyone Jen pup embo never hopeful pip Lou tracie? X
An everyone?

Lou any twinges? X
X