PAL after Recurrent Losses - come join us!

[Mrs Reineke]

heart tree, I have anxiety anyways, so now that I'm pregnant and after having 2 losses and no children I'm terrified of losing this one. Especially because we've seen it wiggling around in there and it's had a strong heartbeat the whole time. Between 160-170. My doppler calms me down when I'm feeling anxious. It reminds me that baby still has a good heartbeat and is doing well. All my appointments have gone well and baby has looked good, so I technically shouldn't be worrying, but hearing so many awful stories of poor women who lose babys later scares me to death. My husband and I are so attached to this little one now. I couldn't even imagine losing it all.

 

[floridamomma]

Mrs r. That's normal to be anxious. One thing I noticed about us PARL moms is we deal with a anxiety about our pregnancies up until the day our babies are placed in our arms. And that's okay we've earned the right to be a little weary. we just have to try not to let it overtake us.
As for me I just want to say thank you to everybody this is the earliest we've seen a heartbeat going take that as a good sign that the medication and things are I love this baby to thrive. The specialist said that if I get through the next X2 weeks he'll feel that the pregnancy will go full-term because that's when my losses happen. Either way I'm choosing to trust that God is going to sustain this pregnancy and I took advice from Tasha and I'm choosing to enjoy this pregnancy.

 

[loeylo]

Lee - sorry about your loss but I understand your relief that it isn't ectopic!

Florida - congrats on heartbeat so early!

Dsemcho - congrats on your baby boy! Lol @ big penis comment!

Mrs R - try to relax and enjoy it, it is natural to worry. I can't even imagine the worries as I move out of first tri, but there is no reason to expect something bad will happen to you.

Afm - got an emergency scan in an hour and a half due to pretty severe cramps for last 24h. Will update you all later

 

[floridamomma]

Loeylo praying for you. Keep us updated

 

[petitpas]

Fingers crossed, loeylo that it's just a big cloud of gas or something equally benign that is causing your cramps

Lee, so so sorry! It isn't fair! I hope you enjoyed your wine and some good quality snuggling with M. Sending you love!

D, little boys are fabulous! You are going to have so much fun with Cole! Congratulations!
As for the placenta, wookie is right, not just most but a whopping 90% of placentas noted as lying low at the 20 week scan move up and out of the way. Imagine your womb as a balloon. Blow it up half way and draw a line on it close to the opening. If you now fully blow up your balloon the line will move up.
The dangerous version is when the placenta fully covers your cervix although the doctor probably would have said. In that case you need to take more precautions and may be put on bedrest etc. You'd know if you had that, though.

 

[wookie130]

Mrs. R- I was an emotional wreck during my first rainbow pregnancy with Hannah, after having 2 early losses. I couldn't even begin enjoying the pregnancy until well after my 20 week scan. At the actual gender scan, when I saw that baby on the screen that actually looked like a baby, and the tech told me it was a girl, I literally broke down sobbing hysterically. I'm sure the tech thought I was some type of basketcase, seriously. And, to be truthful, even after I had had one successful pregnancy, PARL was still pretty tough the next time too, even with a rainbow baby under my belt. I think I was actually more anxious at times with Oscar, as I had a lot of scary bleeding during the first tri with him, and I had taken the MaterniT21 test with him at 11 weeks, and found out then and there that I was having a boy. I just wanted him so much, that the fear of losing him was pretty strong, I suppose.

But, to reiterate what I said earlier, 2 losses can devastate you. I know it devastated me, to the point where I needed professional help to deal with the grief. I can say in all honesty that the birth of my daughter healed my heart from my miscarriages. I will always wonder about what could have been with those two pregnancies, and I hope to meet those 2 angels one day, but the birth of my daughter patched the hole in my heart that miscarriage left. And Oscar has completed me, and restored my faith in myself, my body, and he has taught me that miracles DO happen. I know that without my rainbows, I'd still be in a very dark and desperate place right now. I hope that once they place this LO in your arms, it heals you like it healed me. That's my hope for all of the ladies on here...to have that healing experience after loss.

As far as the doppler goes, I used mine a ton with both babies, sometimes more than once a day. I did use it every night when I laid down in bed...it was like a ritual for me, and I couldn't sleep unless I heard Hannah or Oscar's heartbeat at bedtime. It is safe to use daily. I did slow down on using it once I started feeling regular movements, and feeling strong kicks throughout the day...but I never hesitated to use it if I was having a moment of anxiety, or needed that extra reassurance.

 

[blueblue]

Loeylo - I hope everything goes well with your scan, hopefully it's just gas

Mrs R - I get anxious too, it's natural after any number of losses. Two losses is very hard to deal with. I also worry that I'll never have a child. PARL is very difficult. This pregnancy I'm using meditation to calm me down and it's really working, I've downloaded lots of guided ones and listen to them a couple of times a day. Although I still worry, I'm more relaxed than the last couple of pregnancies, even though I'm still bleeding. I passed a small red clot last night, but it's calmed down now.

I was reminded about how hard it is to deal with a loss when I had my scan the other day in emergency gynaecology, there was a lady in the waiting room and she looked so scared and shellshocked.

wookie/heartree - thank you for your wise words

 

[blueblue]

Florida - I'm really glad you are feeling positive about this pregnancy, it does help with the anxiety.

 

[loeylo]

Home from scan now, baby measuring 7+4 with heartbeat. I'm 7w exactly by lmp and I was measuring one day ahead on Monday (6+3 when I should have been 6+2) so I am nearly a week further on in the space of 5 days. No cysts or anything seen either. Got some good pics so will post one later

 

[floridamomma]

Yay loeylo!!!

 

[DSemcho]

Hello ladies,

First off, thank you for making me feel so welcome here. I was just worried that I didn't belong because some of you have had to go through such horrible things and I have only had 2 early mcs.

Tasha, I promise it had nothing to do with what you said at all. Just reading all the stories of what you all have been through made me question why I was here.

heart tree, your message almost made me cry. Thank you for being so kind.

LeeC, first off I can't even imagine what you are going through. I am so sorry you are having another loss, but so thankful it's not ectopic. Know we're here if you need to talk.

blueblue, I'm so glad your bleeding has slowed down. Hoping it stops for you.

floridamomma, congrats on there being a baby in there!!! How fun you got to see the HB, that's a great sign!!

DSemcho, I could tell right away it was a boy!! Seems he's quite the stud too according to the doctor. Hahahahaha!!! Love the name!!

AFM: 12 weeks 4 days today for me. I can't believe I'll be 13 weeks on Monday. I still worry every day that I'll lose this little one. My doppler is reassuring, but I try not to use it too often. Baby looked great in my scan on the 19th. Wiggling around and it's hb has been between 160-170. I thank God every day I'm still pregnant. I haven't shared too much on this thread because I was feeling my pregnancy journey didn't quite fit, but I'll share more now. Of you ladies that have dopplers, how often do you use them? I worry I will hurt the baby some how if I over do it?

Lee - sorry about your loss but I understand your relief that it isn't ectopic!

Florida - congrats on heartbeat so early!

Dsemcho - congrats on your baby boy! Lol @ big penis comment!

Mrs R - try to relax and enjoy it, it is natural to worry. I can't even imagine the worries as I move out of first tri, but there is no reason to expect something bad will happen to you.

Afm - got an emergency scan in an hour and a half due to pretty severe cramps for last 24h. Will update you all later

I have to admit, I've never been so proud of a penis. even when the doctor just scanned by it real quick I saw it and I got excited lol.

Also I'm going to read everyone else's stuff when I can - I've been busy today cleaning!!

Thanks for the info in the low placenta too ladies!

 

[Squig34]

Ah what a relief Loeylo

Congratulations on a little boy, D!

Blue, hope the bleeding stops soon to give you peace of mind.

 

[blueblue]

Loeylo - that's great news

Thanks Squig

 

[loeylo]

Thanks ladies! Now I am worrying again because the nurse said that my baby was "just more stretched out" and I remember when I went for the scan that I had no heartbeat on preg 2 the baby was all stretched out. I've got another 8 days until next scan

 

[Ummi2boyz]

Lee: I'm sorry for your loss. , but like the others, I'm glad it's not ectopic and your health is not at risk.

Loeylo: yay for a good scan. The nurse probable did not mean anything by it. I hope everything will be ok at your next scan.

Hope: that's crazy about weekly scans being dangerous! I hope you manage to get yourself heard and well cared for.

MrsR: glad you're staying! Your place is here hun.

Afm: trying to get everything ready now. Feels like I have a zillion things to do, but tbh I'm glad it's almost over.
Got a scan on the 11th to check on baby's kidneys at 34 weeks and then cons appt at 36 weeks.
And... Still haven't found a name yet! Argh!

 

[mowat]

Are we next Ummi? Totally not ready mentally. Last night I tried to sit for awhile and just enjoy the feeling of being pregnant. As uncomfortable as I am I'm just not ready to have these babies out of my belly.

 

[Ummi2boyz]

Me neither, and I'm having just one! I can't imagine how it must be like for you. I'm not ready mentally, as I said earlier, I still have loads to do and feels the time is going so fast. At the same time I wish my sickness would go away so I could at least enjoy the last bits of this pregnancy.
I never in a million times imagined that I would reach this point, so very grateful for that.

 

[dancareoi]

Hi Lee

No scan for me this week, they might harm the baby pfft

I settled for waiting 10 days x

Hope, when I was pregnant 2 years ago, I was under a specialist RMC clinic at Birmingham Heartlands Hospital, under Professor Quenby. (Although googling it, it now says they can be found at Solihull hospital)

I saw her a couple of times, but mainly it was a her recurrent miscarraiage midwife, Rachel Small. Rachel said the would scan me whenever I wanted, weekly, fortnightly, monthly, it was up to us, so we chose weekly.

I therefore had scans as follows - 7 weeks, 8 weeks, 9 weeks, 11 weeks, 12 weeks, 13 weeks and 14 weeks. The result of this was a beautiful, healthy rainbow baby girl, who will be 18 months old on Tuesday.

Maybe your hospital are using it as an excuse to save money.

 

[Hope39]

Hi danceroi

I know they using it as an excuse, the hospital are pretty good at lying to me , I can see straight through them

I even had horrible dreams last nights that involved the obstetrician that delivered isaac, subconsciously a lot must be playing on mind . I'm not having the same obs and I'm unsure of the response of my new obs when I meet her in a few weeks.

Wish I could swap hospitals

Xx

 

[wookie130]

Awww, Hope39. I can't even imagine...what a shame.