PAL - August 2012 Rainbow babies!

[powerxpuff]

I keep having dreams that this baby is another boy and I wake up crying. It's like a feeling of deja vu or something, and I just can't handle it. It makes me feel terrible to think that I feel that way about my baby! It's not this baby's fault that I had such a traumatic experience with my first son...

 

[jd83]

Power, it must be extremely difficult going through all this given the circumstances of your previous m/c and loss of baby. Just know that we are here to support you, and will be there for you through this. You have been truly blessed to be given another chance at motherhood, and this baby is NOT a replacement of your son, even if it does turn out to be a boy. This baby needs you to be strong, sweetie, so please try to take care of yourself as best you can. I know its got to be very hard, emotionally and physically, but your baby will be better for it if you can be as healthy as you can. Obviously I cannot relate on the same level, as my losses were both first trimester, but I know that I am getting emotional jsut thinking about what you have been through so I can just imagine how hard this is for you. But I do truly believe that this baby is such a blessing for you, a chance to start over. Not to forget what you have been through, but to have that experience mold you into an even better mother with so much love because you know how precious life is.

 

[bizzy27]

I have to agree with JD.

I am not saying that women who have never expeirenced the loss of a child are not good mothers. That is a far cry from the truth.

However I do feel that women such as us who have lossed .. some just one.. others like myself 3.. have a different view. I believe we tend to be more cautious, more alert, definitely more aware of everything that is going on in our bodies and or lives. And try as we might.. we can't help but have our past somewhat dictate our mental state. And the thoughts that cross our minds are not out of spite for the babies we carry, but out of fear of what MAY come.

I believe that I have been robbed of my innocence when it comes to the joys of childbearing. Many of my friends who are preggo now who have not lost any tell me all the time that I am over-reacting and that things like "that" are so rare. I think to myself how nice it must be to live blissfully ignorant. I wish I didn't know that these thing do happen .. and they happen much more often than we know.. (until we are one of them)

What I have learned however, is that yes, we have expeirenced the worst kind of loss that any woman should have to endure. But it is not for us to know why we lost.. I believe that GOD has his reasons for what he does. But we have to learn to have faith in what we do have.

I spent the first trimester (read my journal if you like) fretting over EVERYTHING.. I was so neurotic that I actually made 2 trips to the ER for sonograms in between my regular visits to my OB just to make sure my baby was ok.
The stress I think did more harm to myself than the baby. Dont get me wrong I still worry.. about everything.. lol.. just not so much to the extreme.

I know that the loss is difficult for you ... and that every step of the pregnancy and each milestone will pose its own struggles.. but try to keep in mind that your baby inside of you depends on you .. needs you .. and even thought can't express it yet.. LOVES YOU.
Your son.. as my 3 children.. I believe are up in heaven smiling down on us.. and they are not sad that we are having more children.. they are watching over their siblings... personal little angels if you will.

We are all here for you .. just try to keep a positive frame of mind.. and know that this little booger... will bring you smiles and joy too. This baby is not a replacement.. just an addition.

 

[NewbieLisette]

Thank you girls, I'm over the moon happy this morning! My 12week scan was just perfect Risks are wwwaaaayyyy down now and got to see fingers and toes and STUBBORNESS the Dr said! HAHAHA! Baby WOULD NOT MOVE for NOTHING!! Took over a half hour and a whole lotta poking and prodding to get a good look No gender guesses either which makes me think Girl! Stubborn and a fast hb of 156bpm! Pic attacthed....any guesses? What are your hunches for yourselves? I can't believe you guys are starting to feel flutters already! OMG I can not wait!!!!!!

Power welcome...I am sooo very sorry for your loss...I can not even begin to imagine the type of pain you are going through. Please know we are all here for you and you can talk to us anytime. Take good care of yourself...I will keep you and the baby in my prayers hun

 

[chisox35]

I didn't know what rainbow babies meant until reading this!

I'm new to the site.

Here is what I put in the "Introduce yourself" section, figure I wanted to include it here too.


Hello everybody!

I'm 34 years old & my wife is 32. We live just outside of Chicago. She is now 16 weeks pregnant. Due date is Aug. 4th. We are both very nervous & excited! Last year we had a MC in her 7th week. So this is our 2nd try.

Hoping for the best!

Thanks

 

[KozmikKitten]

Welcome Chisox! Happy to have you (and your wife) here with us. We have similar stories. My husband and I are on our 2nd pregnancy and had a loss in the 7th week last year. GL to you and again, welcome!

Oh, and I live in MN so not too far from you.

 

[jd83]

Welcome chisox! Good to have you

Lisette, such great news about your scan, yay!

 

[bizzy27]

Welcome Chisox..

It's a nice change to have a father on thread. Will definitely give us a different perspective on PAL.

Oh and CONGRATS on the pregnancy!!

 

[NewbieLisette]

Welcome Chisox

How's everyone feeling today? It feels sooo real for me now that people at the office know and I can stop trying to "suck it in"! LOL

 

[jd83]

I had my first belly touch moment today, that's always awkward when people just come up and touch the bump! My boss came up and touched my belly, said it was def starting to stick out there. I was like, yep, it is. You can remove your hand now. Lol.

 

[bizzy27]

I know exactly how you feel... The guys at work poke it with a finger and the women rub on it as if I am Buddah.. anyways... thats just a part of it I guess

 

[jd83]

Yep, I'm sure it will only get worse, too! lol. No one can help but touch a pregnant belly, apparently. I have always wanted to say, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat, and see what kind of reaction that gets. But I'd have to use that on someone who didn't know me and touched my belly (which I did have strangers touching my belly with my first, so I know its coming).

 

[bizzy27]

OMG if a stranger touched my belly I would go ballistic!! I am kind of a germaphobe (sp?) to begin with... I think I would have to B-slap them .. Like .. HELLO PERSONAL SPACE AND I DONT KNOW YOU...

AFM:

So no U/S today

They said that for the second half of my sequential screening they only needed to draw my blood. I guess I misunderstood.

It's okay though.. I still got to hear my baby's heartbeat. 142 .. seems like it is getting lower and lower each time I go, but the nurse looked pleased at this number so I REFUSE to look into it.

Now for the bad news...

I had protein come back in my urine. Apparently this is not a good thing. That and my blood pressure was high. Dr. also said that I am gaining too much weight (a whole 5 pounds) Who would have thought that was a lot. I guess when you are already big .. 5 pounds is a lot.
This could lead to PreClamsia .. which apparently is very bad for me and baby and I would be put on bed rest.. or worse hospitalized.. and if that doesnt help... they would be forced to deliver the baby earlier than full term.

Now the good part (I guess) is that there are things I can do to try to minimize this and keep it from being a problem.

MUST DRINK NOTHING BUT WATER!!!
EAT LOADS OF FRUITS/VEGETABLES!!!
ONLY LEAN MEATS (FISH/CHICKEN)
NO WHITE BREAD, POTATOES... BASICALLY NO BAD CARBS AT ALL.
NO SODA (which I havent been drinking anyways)
WALK EVERYDAY!!!
CONTINUE TO TAKE MY PRE-NATALS..

AND LOTS OF PRAYING....

I am worried.. most definitely.. but I am learning a lesson really fast..
MY LIFE IS NO LONGER MY OWN. EVERYTHING I DO NOW IS FOR MY BABY. PERIOD..

 

[jd83]

Wow 5 pounds is not a lot! Some docs are so upright about any weight gain. Was it the rate you put it on, maybe, not so much the amount? That happened to me with my son. When I had all my baby showers I was eating tons from the showers and gained like 6 pounds in two weeks and they totally freaked out that I had gained that much in such a short time.

 

[bizzy27]

Wow 5 pounds is not a lot! Some docs are so upright about any weight gain. Was it the rate you put it on, maybe, not so much the amount? That happened to me with my son. When I had all my baby showers I was eating tons from the showers and gained like 6 pounds in two weeks and they totally freaked out that I had gained that much in such a short time.

I am not sure. I know that when I started of I was 210 lbs.. then about 3 weeks later he weighed me I was down to 207 and he said that was fine.
Then a few weeks after that i was back to 210. Again he said I was fine. Then a month later I was up to 215. I wonder if he is looking at the rate of gain from the 207 - 215 .. maybe.. IDK

 

[jd83]

Probably, I think they look at how fast it goes on, not so much the overall number, but if it goes on quickly. I will say just be careful, and take their advice on the foods to eat or avoid. I gained like 60 pounds with my son and it took 18 months to lose it! I'm really trying to do better this time, but I am already sooo hungry! Don't know how I'm gonna manage not to get huge again. Gonna really try to say no to cupcakes! Lol.

 

[KozmikKitten]

Had my appt today! Booked 20 wk scan for March 16! So excited to find out what team we'll be on!

 

[jd83]

Yay! That's exciting to have date set to find out! My next appt is next week, so then I will get to schedule mine too. Cant wait to hear what we are all having!

 

[bizzy27]

My 20 week is set for March 20th...cant wait.


So first day of diet went great!! Actually was able to drink an entire gallon of water as instructed... I might as well be posting this from the potty..

 

[justwaiting]

Power - were you given councelling after the loss of your son? if not maybe you need to seek some now. WE can offer support but only to a certain extent you have been through something truly devastating and given the circumstances it's understandable how you feel but I don't think it's healthy for you or the baby.

I have had a few belly toughers so far, I've always had a bit of a tummy, so I don't like the touching as it's still mostly me and onl a little baby. Some people have been kind enough to ask first and I tell them they can touch but don't rub or I will rub back!!! The others I have gone rigid. I don't like people interffering with my personal space so the next few months could be interesting.
I have felt movement too, I wasn't sure until I got my doppler and felt the movement along with the sound. It's feels amazing