PAL - August 2012 Rainbow babies!

[Neversaynever]

Keep cooking your rainbow Nicola I know it's hard to think about what is going to ahppen after you've had this little girlie...we would prefer to make the decision oursleves huh?

Lot's of

XxX

 

[jd83]

Just woke up to a fantastic morning! Its my V-day, and i woke up to a text from my sister that she is having her baby today yay!

 

[bizzy27]

JD you your lil bump is growing so well. Mine has taken a standstill. Makes me worry a bit..but Dr says baby is growing just fine.. so maybe I am a "Late Popper"

CONGRATS ON VDAY

Puff - How are things going?

Nicola - I am thinking about you and hope all is well.

 

[puppycat]

Hello ladies.
Hope everyone is well.
Powerpuff, i should've read here first just replied to you in gestational complications. Are you still on bed rest? Keeping everything crossed that your little one keeps growing bigger and stronger inside you for as long as poss. Neonatal units are amazing and do wonderful things. The lady on bedrest opposite me delivered at exactly 26 weeks last sunday and baby is doing brilliantly, teeny babies are such little fighters so stay strong and keep positive. xx

As for me, have still been bleeding on and off and have contractions every few days but not dilating yet and babycake is still cooking so thats a positive. On the downside, mri confirmed (as much as it can) that i have placenta previa and accreta which means it's grown into the muscle/scar tissue from previous c-sections. Consultant seemed quite certain i'll have to have a hysterectomy when they do this section to stop me bleeding uncontrolably. He also says its close to the bladder but in his words 'we can lop big lumps of that off and it heals relatively quickly, you'll just need a catheter for a couple of weeks....' hmmmm.
Soooo, not sure how i feel about that yet. I don't think i've really taken it in tbh. Although this will be our last baby anyway, kinda makes me sad to know i actually can't have any more. Just gotta hope and pray we get to keep this little one.

Girls I hope Nicola won't mind me letting you know but her little angel baby was born via emergency c section 2 days ago but has lost the battle for life today

I can't believe life can be so unfair to someone so lovely

 

[bizzy27]

Oh NO!!

Nicola - I am certain you wont be online anytime soon to read this..but my heart goes out to you. I am SOO SORRY for your loss. I know that God has your lil angel in his arms and is taking great care of him.
I know this does little to ease your broken heart...

Just know that my thoughts are with you and I pray that you find comfort that your baby is safe in his kingdom.

 

[jd83]

Oh no, Nicola I am soooo soooo sorry. I don't even have words right now, I'm an emotional mess just from reading this. I cant imagine what you are going through right now, but def got lots of prayers going up for you sweetie.

 

[powerxpuff]

Nicola I'm so sorry.. You and your sweet baby are in my heart today.

 

[MrsMoo72]

Oh my god i can't believe this. Poor Nicola - Puppy can you let her know we are all thinking about her and sending lots of and love xxx

 

[NewbieLisette]

OMG my heart is just breaking right now I can't even reckon how cruel this life can be...please puppy tell her how much we're praying & feeling with her these days!

 

[KozmikKitten]

nicola I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. Our hearts are breaking with yours and we are all sending prayers your way.

 

[BabyBumpLove]

Wow that is just horrible! I am so sad for you. I just bust into tears when I read the news. I just can't imagin what you are going through. I am do sorry for your loss!

 

[Neversaynever]

Life can be so sodding evil...Nicola words can't say how sorry I am..truly devastating

XxX

 

[sarasparra]

Am so so sorry for you Nicola. Don't know what else to say but take care hun and sending you hugs

 

[nicola ttc]

Thank you all.
Emily May was born by emergency c-section at 8.45 on monday night. I had been having contractions all day which they had been unable to control with drugs. I'd had an mri previously which confirmed placenta previa and accreta - they suspected the placenta had attached to the bladder. The decision was made to deliver as i'd started to bleed and at this point there was no other option. It was save me and hope for a miracle with our baby or potentially lose us both. I had a classical section from above the belly button to below the bikini line under general anaesthetic so they could get baby out as quickly as possibe.
The surgery went relatively well, they managed to remove the placenta without a hysterectomy and the accreta hadn't progressed to the point they thought so had not damaged the bladder yet. There was a hole in the uterus so had begun to rupture, the section had been the best decision we could make at that point...
Emily was 1lb 8oz.They managed to ventilate her and took her to the nicu.
After doing well for the first 38 hours, she had a pneumothorax in her right lung. The fragile tissue had torn and air escaped into the chest crushing the left lung so she was struggling to breathe. The medical team - of 14 - put in a chest drain...then a second....then a third...then tried to bypass the right lung...then tried a few other things we hoped and prayed might work.
They worked on her for 4 1/2 hours and couldn't have tried harder to save her.
At around 2.30 on wednesday afternoon, Emily decided she'd had enough and let go. Her heart stopped beating and they extubated her from the ventilator while we held her at 3.05. It was the first time we got to hold our daughter.
I just feel broken and empty and have no idea how i go on from here.
When we lost Edward my whole focus was getting pregnant again and being pregnant again made me feel whole. Because of the uterine rupture and classical scar (as well as 3 previous sections and complications with the placenta) things are a lot less straight forward.
I feel so guilty that Emily had to be born too soon, even though i know we had no other choice, the dr's had made the decision and we agreed with that. I just can't help thinking 'what if..' 'if only..'.
I just want my baby back.

I doubt i'll be back on here for a while but really hope everything goes well for each and every one of you, you've been lovely.
Maybe one day we'll get our rainbow too.
Love, Nicola. xx

 

[puppycat]

I just don't know what to say Nicola

I am so sorry

 

[BabyBumpLove]

Take care of yourself be with loved ones. I'm so sorry once again. I just can't imagin what you are going through.

 

[Neversaynever]

Devastating is not the word...I will be thinking of you, Emily and your family

So sorry

XxX

 

[jd83]

Nicola, I am just so sorry. This is so unfair after all you have been through. Prayers for your family and lots of love.

 

[bizzy27]

Nicola -

I am so sorry. There are NO words to say that could bring you any peace. Just try to know that your baby is safe with God now and smiling down on you. I know you miss her very much and this will be a difficult time for you. Just remember that we are ALL here for you no matter what.

Even if you feel the need to just come online and rant and rave and scream it out.. We will listen.

Love always,

Bizzy

 

[struth]

Oh my goodness - I haven't been on here for a few days and so have only just caught up with what has happened. Nicola - I'm so sorry for your loss and can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling right now. What a terrible thing to happen. Please don't feel guilty though honey - there is nothing that you could have done to change things. It is not your fault.

My thoughts are with you