PAL Winter Babies 2010/11 - ** Waiting impatiently for our remaining babies! **

[MissyMojo]

bet u cant wait to be a waddle monster

i know i love my bump

 

[Vinushka]

Hello... I don't know why I'm actually posting, because it makes me scared enough, but I guess I just felt guilty for lurking. I'm due on october 3rd after having a slightly traumatic loss of my last pregnancy at 12 weeks in september last year.

I've been told this time it is a perfect little boy, but I just don't trust anyone anymore. It's a long story and I have a lot of mental "problems". So I have been scared and depressed for the last few months. My 7 y/o daughter was also supposedly a perfect pregnancy and then at 3 months she lost an eye to retinoblastoma from a deletion in a gene which was missed. She also has autism. I don't know what happened to my second baby as they didn't even believe I had lost it for 2 weeks, I finally ended up in the hospital, hemorrhaging and was left to have my baby in the hospital toilets alone. (sorry if it's TMI)

Anyways, this little guy was unplanned, I didn't even notice till I was 12 weeks and at that point I just cried. I know all or a lot of you have been trying hard to get pregnant, and you're all braver than I am, I don't expect any kind of sympathy only to say that I almost expect my PPD and psychosis to come back with a vengeance, and I'm terrified I'll get as little help as last time, when I was actually bullied by my health visitor till I broke down and screamed her out of my house....

wow, sorry, I can't believe I wrote all this down.

 

[MissyMojo]

hey sweetheart,

well done for being brave and joining us,

so sorry for everything you've been thru so far, and i hope that your little man is born healthy and u receive the right kind of support x x x

 

[Vinushka]

Thank you, I seem to be at the bottom of a depression cycle right now, and plan to be suitably embarrased when I get over it.

I doubt I will get any help, my family are the type that will say suck it up and stop whining, I left my friends behind 6 years ago when I had to dedicate all my time to my daughter, and I already gave up on the health service around here many years ago.

But. I already love my little guy so much. I tried not to but I can't help it. Maybe this is hopeful for the future. I guess everyone wants to be hopeful in the end.

 

[hb1]

You are a very brave lady Vinushka, your journey has not been easy

It is good to feel excited about your baby boy - it is a positive emotion amongst very hard emotions that you must be experiencing.

hx

 

[hb1]

Fluffy - glad you had a lovely holiday good news on the bump

 

[wish2bmama]

Vinushka, I am sorry to hear about your loss and your troubles. You truely are brave! I agree with hb, it's a great possitive feeling to have and a strong one

Fluff, glad you had a good trip! And great news about the rounder bump!

As for me, 48 hours until the scan and I am scared. My cramps have been getting stronger and I has some spotting last night. I am just holding my fingers super duper crossed the little lovebug is strong and holding on tight xx

 

[MissyMojo]

wish2b xxxxx

 

[Vinushka]

I hope your little one is ok W2B

 

[fluffyblue]

well am feeling very sad, Ben has decided not to come home he is gonna live in Blackburn with his dad. Blames me for everything, the usual I hate the stepdad thing and blames me for marrying him and choosing Noel over him. I have been with Noel - 11 years. Blames me for him loosing his friends and his job, no matter how I have reminded him of the fact he didnt need to go out that day he chose (a) to lie and (b) to not come home. Think its all poor excuses to be honest.

Noel is so upset and extremely angry that I dont even think there is any going back now - I cant choose between them I mean I wouldnt want to, I have reassured Ben the door is open I will always be here but maybe now at 17 nearly 18 he needs a new start.

i also got the fact that I "wanted his room for a nursery" I mean how pathetic is that, its like I instrumented the whole bloody thing just for his room.

I feel so sad for both of them Ben because he is without his sister, friends, family, job and me - and Noel because he feels all he has done in the past 11 years has been thrown out the window

I just think I need to let this one ride the course over the next few weeks, reassure him I am here for him but allow him his chance to experience things

 

[MissyMojo]

aww sweetheart, im sorry bens decided to take this action xx i hope he comes to his senses and realises how much u and noel care n love him, xxx

 

[hb1]

W2B - good luck for Tuesday - keep resting, warm baths may ease the cramping. Am praying LO stays put

Fluffy - Ben's full of his own hormones right now it might even be good for him for a bit - I imagine he'll be back - at this age there is a natural urge to fly the nest and break out and it could be a lot worse if he'd gone off with friends etc etc at least he's with his dad - and he's only up the M6 so good for visits esp when the baby comes - he'll want to meet his fluffster. I would just keep letting him know you love and miss him and keep him up to date with everything going on in the family so he still feels included - even if it's just one sided emailing or letters.

hx

 

[debgreasby]

fluffy

 

[MissyMojo]

Morning Girls

How are we doing? x x

 

[fluffyblue]

Thanks girls well it developed into a full blown slanging match via email last night think a few bridges have been burned and a lot of lies told. Think its gonna be a long haul this one but I can wait - I know he is safe etc. I need to put myself first for a change I know that sounds selfish but I can hardly ignore the fact im 15 weeks pregnant !!

Ben is nearly 18 and working so I need to let him do this and whether it takes 1 or 12 months it will be fine im trying to keep positive. It does show me one thing I hate my ex -husband with a passion and have now fallen out with my ex-family (ie his mother and my ex-sis in law) all the things I told them in confidence over the years have been told to Ben. Now Noel is worrying that something will come out that he hasnt been told. As I told him I got no skeletons in my closet nor am I worried. Im 15 weeks pregnant for gods sake with his child, is he that worried !!

So new start today tinged with sadness but hey ill survive.

As for anything else got my booking in appointment on Thursday looking forward to that and got my triple test blood test on 11th !

Fluffster now in full charge mode on HI-Bebe doppler so Noel can hear it its so sweet.

two days holiday left then back to work boo hoo.....

 

[MadamRose]

Hi glad to hear they are looking after you w2b.
I had an awful nights sleep last night, had belly ache on and off since 11pm, along with loose movements sorry if tmi. And now back ache. Just heard from the doc and she thinks its the loose movement but if anything gets worse i have got to contact them again.
How is everyone else doing

 

[MissyMojo]

hope u feel better soon due

im hot n sticky - i dont think thats gonna change anytime soon , got an air con unit but it doesnt feel like its doing much ??

 

[MadamRose]

Hopefully, doc said i have to monitior babys movements while i still have the pain and if they get low then ring back, or it the loose bowels sort themselves out and still have the pain got to ring back. Hoping it will all be gone, but coming up to 12 hours of it. Im just glad its belly ache kinda pain rather than crampy pain or i would be really worried.

Yes i had the hot and sticky problem to i have a fan not air con, and half the time in sure its just pushing the hot air around.

 

[Vinushka]

My ears popped this morning and I'm half deaf :3

Feeling more normal in the head than yesterday.

 

[MissyMojo]

the fact it feels like belly pain not crampy pain is a gd sign - hope it eases up soon

i have the air con uniit on, with its hose pipe going up the chimney, a towel under it cos its got a drainage pipe which drips and right infront of it, it is cooler - but not by much x