Parenting Shows on TV

[Lightworker]

What are your views on these.

I am not generally a fan of them, as most of the time the advice they give is at odds with my own parenting beliefs, but what do you think?

Some shows like Jo Frost one seem to take a "one size fits all" approach, and her methods fail to take into account the individual personality of the child.

What do you think? Have they helped you?

Also, what do you think about the rights of the children in the show? Do you think it is fair for them to be on TV without their consent (can children give consent?)

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

No I dislike them on a number of levels.

I don't like the way they turn everything into an extreme, which they of course have to make things entertaining / 'good' TV, but it really doesn't help anybody's cause. More gentle parents are usually ridiculed in the media and on the other hand some more traditional parents are probably shown in a bad light too. Just creates more divides in real life where they needn't exist.

Parenting shows usually focus only on the behavior seen and never the individual child or the particular relationship between the parent and child. I dislike the methods used by supernanny et al. The end goal always seem to be obedience, and controlling the child, which I am totally against anyway.

I don't believe it is right for the children to be featured on the show, I think it is totally wrong, so I guess I'm saying I don't think the shows should exist at all.

 

[Laura2919]

The thing I think we all seem to forget is children are children, when they go to the supermarket they always want something, when you tell them to be quiet they tend to be loud. We are slowly losing grip on children because of these shows. If your child has a tantrum in Asda you get people looking at you like you have done something wrong for raising a child that has tantrums, because of these shows.

I dont follow any of them, I dont mind Jo Frost but I dont religiously watch her tv program.

Children do misbehave, nobody can tell me their child is 100% good all the time. It just doesnt happen.

Now, when Chloe and Jaycee are naughty they will sit on the naughty step for 2 minutes, if they continue to be naughty they have to sit down and watch the other play and that works for us but I wouldnt say this would definitely work for everyone, we all parent differently, some smack, some dont, some use a naughty step, some dont, some are strict, some are laid back. Its not one rule for all

The only one I did record to watch was the show about children and sleep. One did CIO/CC and one went in every time they cried and tried to settle them. I liked that show.

 

[Lightworker]

Thanks ladies. I had the show on while I posted this and usually I don't watch it, but this time I left it on, and I just felt so uncomfortable.

The parents get a thumbs up for their child being "good and quiet" while they shop. They don't try to get to the bottom of the tantrum, the aim is to quash it.

I do like the supermarket example, because I think that is a time when your parenting is truly revealed, and this one time I saw this lady who had a 2 year old screaming, and everyone was watching, and she never lost her cool..she just kept talking to him, asking what the matter was, gave cuddles, and he eventually calmed down. I actually had to go up to her and told her I thought she handled it very well.

 

[summer rain]

I used to watch these shows quite regularly, but not any more. I find them quite simplistic and thus infuriating! xx

 

[xemmax]

I can't stand Jo Frost - I find her irritating and patronising and I don't have much faith in her. Many children will 'obey' orders from a stranger and yet not listen to their own parents, so it's never a surprise to me that while she is present in the house the behaviour of the children seems to have dramatically improved. It amuses me that by the end of every episode the child is 'fixed' - like it is a fool proof method (in reality there is no such thing when children are all so different), and I would be willing to put money on the fact that when the programme ends the children return to their previous behaviour as I really believe it is the presence of a stranger and the novelty of a new 'regime' which creates such changes.

 

[Nibblenic]

On one hand I like watching them for the 'OMG Im glad mines not like that factor'
However I dont think ive used any techniques from such shows.

 

[Lightworker]

I can't stand Jo Frost - I find her irritating and patronising and I don't have much faith in her. Many children will 'obey' orders from a stranger and yet not listen to their own parents, so it's never a surprise to me that while she is present in the house the behaviour of the children seems to have dramatically improved. It amuses me that by the end of every episode the child is 'fixed' - like it is a fool proof method (in reality there is no such thing when children are all so different), and I would be willing to put money on the fact that when the programme ends the children return to their previous behaviour as I really believe it is the presence of a stranger and the novelty of a new 'regime' which creates such changes.

Absolutely, its like she comes in, waves her magic wand and its all ok. There's no exploration of the behaviour- just Time Out, rinse and repeat. Its like Summerrain said, its all very simplistic.

 

[aragornlover8]

They're also very extreme cases, oftentimes where the parents have been afraid to discipline thus far. So I don't find them to be very helpful when it comes to your average kid who occasionally has fits and acts out (like all kids do). I also don't like the approach of "Do this or you will be punished." I know growing up that I hated hearing "because Mommy said so," as that never answered my question at all. And so many psychologists have found that calmly explaining to your child in addition to time outs and the like what they have done wrong is so much more beneficial.

 

[vaniilla]

its a tv show its aim is for entertaining people they're not there to try and deal with any issues which is why its simplistic, its supposed to be simple or it would defy the whole program, its a show which helps helps her peddle all of her books,dvds and whatever else she's selling. I don't see it anything for anyone to be upset about its just a over the top dramatic show which is supposed to make people watch and think "wow look at those extreme kids misbehaving and she fixes it just like that" its a quick fix thing that they can fit into a 30min-1hour slot and it should be seen as just that its no different to any other program on tv - its there for affect, its not always played in sequence and some of the scenes are created for the viewers so I wouldn't considering them a parenting show as such although they try to sell themselves as much, its like you wouldn't consider any of the gordon ramsay shows educational cooking programme, I hope that makes sense

 

[Lightworker]

its a tv show its aim is for entertaining people they're not there to try and deal with any issues which is why its simplistic, its supposed to be simple or it would defy the whole program, its a show which helps helps her peddle all of her books,dvds and whatever else she's selling. I don't see it anything for anyone to be upset about its just a over the top dramatic show which is supposed to make people watch and think "wow look at those extreme kids misbehaving and she fixes it just like that" its a quick fix thing that they can fit into a 30min-1hour slot and it should be seen as just that its no different to any other program on tv - its there for affect, its not always played in sequence and some of the scenes are created for the viewers so I wouldn't considering them a parenting show as such although they try to sell themselves as much, its like you wouldn't consider any of the gordon ramsay shows educational cooking programme, I hope that makes sense

I see what your saying, but I think for the more vulnerable parent, they can be easily swayed. One time, there was this 18 month old baby that was still BFing and co-sleeping. Jo Frost was absolutely shocked. I never watched this episode, it was my friend that did, and she thought of me, as my DD1 was co-sleeping and BFing. Jo's advice was to susbstitute the breast with the bottle, then get the child out of the bed.

My friend suggested this to me, and while the ultimate decision lay with me, the fact that it is on a Parenting show, I questioned the "rightness" of my decision to carry on co-sleeping and BFing.

I guess what I am trying to say is that there are many people out there that follow that advice wholeheartedly without questioning the true motive of the producers. I just think there needs to be some more accountability for what they do. x

 

[vaniilla]

its a tv show its aim is for entertaining people they're not there to try and deal with any issues which is why its simplistic, its supposed to be simple or it would defy the whole program, its a show which helps helps her peddle all of her books,dvds and whatever else she's selling. I don't see it anything for anyone to be upset about its just a over the top dramatic show which is supposed to make people watch and think "wow look at those extreme kids misbehaving and she fixes it just like that" its a quick fix thing that they can fit into a 30min-1hour slot and it should be seen as just that its no different to any other program on tv - its there for affect, its not always played in sequence and some of the scenes are created for the viewers so I wouldn't considering them a parenting show as such although they try to sell themselves as much, its like you wouldn't consider any of the gordon ramsay shows educational cooking programme, I hope that makes sense

I see what your saying, but I think for the more vulnerable parent, they can be easily swayed. One time, there was this 18 month old baby that was still BFing and co-sleeping. Jo Frost was absolutely shocked. I never watched this episode, it was my friend that did, and she thought of me, as my DD1 was co-sleeping and BFing. Jo's advice was to susbstitute the breast with the bottle, then get the child out of the bed.

My friend suggested this to me, and while the ultimate decision lay with me, the fact that it is on a Parenting show, I questioned the "rightness" of my decision to carry on co-sleeping and BFing.

I guess what I am trying to say is that there are many people out there that follow that advice wholeheartedly without questioning the true motive of the producers. I just think there needs to be some more accountability for what they do. x

thats really bad I hate it when tv shows try to pass themselves off as real advice they should have to put in big writing at the start that its not meant as parenting advice but for entertainment only but sadly I don't think Jo Frost would do it then as she makes a lot of money from, I hate that these shows label anything not the norm as extreme or radical it makes ideas seem unapproachable by parents by alienating them

 

[Twister]

Tbh I've seen jo frosts techniques work in real life and they do involve talking to the child and explaining to them what they've done wrong. I'm not a parent yet but when I do become one I may follow SOME of her techniques as I do think they do work if done correctly and under the right circumstances however that all depends on how I raise my future children and other factors.

I much prefere jo frost's extreme parenting as opposed to supernanny as there's more variety in terms of situations, it's not always the mega extreme situations especially when shes on the road talking to parents. The one programme I don't like is nanny911, that's much worse than all the other parenting shows imo, it's so cheesy.

 

[Miss Wright]

I've seen Jo Frost suggest some great techniques. For toddlers who are prone to tantrums in the supermarket, she suggests getting them involved inthe shopping so they don't get bored. (I.e can you find the bananas for Mummy? Etc) I also saw one with a little boy who always kicked off on the way home from school, so Jo Frost devised a game to play on the way home where they had a list of things to 'spot' on the way home like a duck pond, a post box and so on.
Another example was a family in which four siblings fought constantly, so she got them all to take part in a treasure hunt where they had to take in turns to be the leader and work as a team in order to find the treasure.
Seemed like good ideas to me?

 

[LittleBoo]

I love Supernanny I have to disagree on the one size fits all thing though, from what I've seen she gives advice to families depending on their individual situations, she zones in on what's causing the problem, usually lack of confidence or family problems causing the children to act out. I find it interesting to see, it shows there's no such thing as 'bad children', it's more down to the parenting. Children test boundries, so often on the show there are no boundries, or they vary so the child gets confused. I find her advice makes perfect sense, in fact it's all things I've thought before when seeing certain family situations. She just voices what's already in my head

 

[smelly07]

Personally i hate them and okay i may get my head bitten off here but the one thing that irritates me about super nanny is that she actually doesnt have any children of her own which imo makes a great difference when working in the childcare profession.

i have worked in childcare for 11 years before and after having my girls and i feel i was a hell of a lot better at my job after..... not saying people who dont have children who work with children are not good at their jobs but having your own children gives you a different perspective on things therefore you work and deal with children and parents so much better lots of my collegues feel the same way.

super nanny is text book through and through and i don't agree with a lot of her techniques such as the 'naughty step' and i think it is very unfair on the children to be subjected to these TV shows to x

 

[Lightworker]

Personally i hate them and okay i may get my head bitten off here but the one thing that irritates me about super nanny is that she actually doesnt have any children of her own which imo makes a great difference when working in the childcare profession.

i have worked in childcare for 11 years before and after having my girls and i feel i was a hell of a lot better at my job after..... not saying people who dont have children who work with children are not good at their jobs but having your own children gives you a different perspective on things therefore you work and deal with children and parents so much better lots of my collegues feel the same way.

super nanny is text book through and through and i don't agree with a lot of her techniques such as the 'naughty step' and i think it is very unfair on the children to be subjected to these TV shows to x

This is it. I totally believe you don't have to experience everything, eg like doctors haven't experienced every disease, but they are experts at them, but like you, if anyone asks me for any sort of advice, and not just parenting, I feel more comfortable if it is with regard to something I have experienced first hand.

There's a difference with knowing things theoretically, and knowing something as a result of first-hand experience.

 

[Lightworker]

I love Supernanny I have to disagree on the one size fits all thing though, from what I've seen she gives advice to families depending on their individual situations, she zones in on what's causing the problem, usually lack of confidence or family problems causing the children to act out. I find it interesting to see, it shows there's no such thing as 'bad children', it's more down to the parenting. Children test boundries, so often on the show there are no boundries, or they vary so the child gets confused. I find her advice makes perfect sense, in fact it's all things I've thought before when seeing certain family situations. She just voices what's already in my head

Maybe she has changed her approach. I do remember the initial series, and there was a huge uproar because of the use of the "naughty corner", precisely due to the use of the word "naughty".

The shows I did see, were all ..ok, time-out, problem sorted. Its good though to hear another side of the debate. x