Partner not coping...

[Tweetz]

so I’m in a bit of a mess at the moment and need some advice from some fellow mums or mums to be.

Me and my partner have an 8 year old already he came as a huge shock to us at the tender early 20s... we didn’t have the best relationship through it but once he was here we got on track and ended up in a really healthy financial and mental place ... we were happy... another baby was never on the books then we find out I was pregnant 3 months in fact it went unoticed I only sore the doctor due to feeling so run down (still bled etc) he appeared to be more supportive then the first time round in the sense that “don’t worry we will get it sorted” but after my last scan and the fact he has to come to terms with this is permanent he has become so distant. One minute he is fine with me the next he’s so one answered and off ... it is making me feel miserable after all we are in this together and I feel like he’s jumped boat and left me here to sink alone ... I don’t feel he is going to accept this is happening, I am 21 weeks and haven’t told anyone not even our son, I don’t feel I can until he is more stable but it is getting me so down!

Sorry for the long winded message but not sure who else to speak to.

 

[noon_child]

You've got to tell him how you are feeling and make him tell you how he is feeling. Don't judge each other - we all get feelings we can't control - just let each other be honest about all the ugly thoughts and worries. Mental Health problems such as anxiety and depression are soooooooooooo common in the antenatal and postnatal period, for dads as well as mums, so see if you can find any websites, support groups, information about dads and depression so he feels less alone in it all. I don't know where you live but the medical professionals who are looking after your health and health of baby should be interested in the health (including mental) of the whole family and might be able to signpost him to proper support. Good luck.