People always asking if I'm pregnant. (Rant)

[Laroawan]

So DH and I got married this August and are now 3 months into marriage. For the past month people at my work have been constantly asking if I'm pregnant. I probably get asked 5-10 times a week.

It makes me worried that I look pregnant (I've gained a couple lbs) and has me second guessing my wardrobe choices even though I think it is just that I am newly married and people want me to be pregnant. I find myself becoming self conciouse about wearing certain clothes or making movements that people seem to interpret as pregnancy signs (rubbing my stomach).

It's getting a bit frustrating also because I'd love to be pregnant but we're not quite ready to TTC yet. When I tell people I'm not pregnant they ask why not, try to tell me how much I would enjoy being a mom and then ask when we will have kids. It's not helping my baby fever at all but also making me a bit sad that we aren't trying yet.

Well... thanks for reading. I just needed somewhere to rant a bit. Anyone else having similar issues?

 

[BB1982]

I think it's just that people expect newly married couples to try for a baby, but I think after only a few months they are being a bit quick off the mark! You've barely unpacked from honeymoon!! It must be hard when you want to try, but really just try to enjoy being newly weds and not let insensitive people make you upset! I've been with my other half almost three years, and I guess because he has kids already and I don't, and I'm in my 30's, even though we are not married I get asked all the time when we are having kids. It's hugely annoying as I'd love to have one now, and he's the one wanting to wait, yet I'm the one who gets asked all the time. I recon I get asked at least once a week!! So your not alone, most people on WTT and TTC pages will be in the same boat. Xx

 

[RoseArcana]

This also happens when you tell people you are TTC! I'm going to keep quiet next time! x

 

[skycastles]

Laroawan, I experienced the exact same things as you did shortly after my wedding a few years back. Worse, some nosy distant relatives would ask if I was pregnant because I look 'fuller' in my facebook photos!!
It died down after a few months, but a few years on, it's coming back full force, especially from relatives rather than colleagues. It made me sad as well, because I want to TTC, but we had discussed and decided it wasn't an ideal time to start.
Even now I'm not telling anyone we're TTC-ing except for a couple of close friends I wouldn't mind chatting about it with.

 

[sweetysangel8]

Oh yes I know how that goes all too well. DH and I got married in May and I am asked during every get together if I'm pregnant yet. We are planning on trying in May but we aren't telling anyone that is what our plan is. But yes I know how it makes baby fever worse! You are definitely not alone. If only people realized how damaging of a question is it.

 

[kksy9b]

We were asked pretty consistently for 2 years when we were having kids. Not "are you pregnant?" which is incredibly rude, but when. I always said "in a few years" and eventually people stopped asking. Only told my best friend when we started trying because I didn't want the bombardment to start again. I would come up with a standard response and keep telling people that when they ask. Ie- in a few years, we want to enhoy just each other for awhile, down the toad once we can do some teaveling etc. Eventually it will die down hun

 

[pacificlove]

At my work they literally made bets on when i'd be "knocked up". Oh well, I just say back "eh, way more fun to practise at the moment"

Stupid question, stupid answer is my motto. Bold question, bold answer. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.. I am having a lot of fun with it.
I do admin work in a heavy duty shop, so the atmosphere is probably quite different then in some tall office buildings...

 

[MindUtopia]

I wouldn't take it too personally. It's just what people do after you get married. It's a bit awkward and inappropriate to ask someone if they are pregnant though, as opposed to if they are trying to get pregnant soon. Because obviously, if you were and you hadn't told them already, it's probably because you still didn't want anyone to know. So that's a little bit just rude and invasive, but I think generally people mean well and are just trying to be excited for you. We actually didn't get it at all after we got married, I think because people assumed we were too busy with work and travel and I was/am doing a PhD and my family at least still thought I was too young (I was 32?!). But I get it a lot more now that we have our daughter (who is coming up to 3). People are just curious. I definitely do look pregnant now, because once you've had one, you often sorta always look a little bit pregnant, but people who know me know that I'm not skinny! So they don't really assume I'm pregnant, but they do ask if we're going to try again soon. It's not because I'm fat (though I am a bit), it's just because it's what people do.

I did have a woman get up and give me her seat on the tube a few months ago though! I thought she was just being nice because she was getting off at the next stop and wanted to offer me her seat. So I said, thank you, and sat down. Then she stood next to me in my seat for the rest of the ride and got off at the same stop I did! I was confused until I realised she must have thought I looked pregnant! Then I was like, do I really look that pregnant?!?

 

[Laroawan]

Thanks for the perspective ladies. I think one of the big differences with my job is that I work with seniors so it is often like having 60 grandparents who all are hoping you get pregnant asap. Sweet, but they are definitely not afraid to say what is on their mind.

 

[tverb84]

If this were happening to me, I would tell them to mind their own business.