People can be really damn insensitive!

[BrandiCanucks]

I'm in a due date group on Facebook. I was originally going to remain Team Yellow, but as time goes on, the more I think about the doctor pulling out a girl, the more upset I become. I cannot bring myself to be happy about or excited about having a girl, and my instinct and everything else (Ramzi, skull, dreams, instinct, pattern) all point towards a girl.

The thought of having another girl makes me seriously depressed. So much so that I feel like if the doctor announces it's a girl, I will want nothing more than to walk out of the hospital without her.

I already HATE that I feel this way and would give anything in the WORLD to be excited about a girl. I WANT to be, I just can't be.

I've never suffered from postpartum depression before, but have suffered from severe depression in the past (pre-kids) to the point that I nearly took my own life several times. I know for a FACT if I wait to find out and the doctor tells me it's a girl, I'm going to spiral immediately. So I said I'm going to find out for the sake of my own mental health.

Comments I received in return when I reached out for support were:

Get over it.
Move on.
You can't say you'll become depressed. You'll probably change all that when you see her.
Stop being repetitive.
You're being ridiculous.
Your baby can't choose their sex, and you're going to reject her over it?

And my least favourite:

Just be excited that you're having a baby at all. There are some people who would give anything to have one, boy or girl.

Like I don't know that? Like I'm CHOOSING to feel this way? Like I WANT to feel like I'd reject my own daughter? Like this is MY fault?

If I could change this, I absolutely would. I HATE feeling this way.

Sorry, just had to get it out.

 

[Misscalais]

Oh hun. Im so sorry you're feeling this way. I chose to find out with my 3rd (boy) because i wanted a girl soooo badly. I cried in the bathroom at the scan when i had to get up and empty my bladder. I cried for weeks about it, but i did get over it and feel so guilty for feeling so terrible about it. When DS3 was born i still had a moment when i looked between the legs in hopes his bits had magically turned into a vagina lol it was only a split second of disappointment again. Hes 15 months now and such a cute, funny, lovely little boy. But now I'm finding all those old feelings coming back up because im unexpectedly pregnant with our 4th. I have so many emotions over it begging god to please let this one be our daughter.
I hope that if you are having another girl you'll feel ok about it once she arrives. Just give yourself time

 

[donnarobinson]

Hope ur ok Hun I recently found out I'm having my third boy and I cried my eyes out . I was heartbroken I feel better now and I'm glad he's a boy love him Alredi but stil sad I'm not having a girl x

 

[DannaD]

I'm sorry you're feeling like that
I think in your particular case people are finding it hard to relate because you already have 2 girls and 2 boys. Some believe GD is only for those who only have children of one gender or something.
Personnaly I'd stop looking for support with this Facebook forum and join an active GD forum like InGender where you'll get plenty of it.

 

[MyFavSurprise]

I'm really sorry that you're going through this and getting such an awful response. It is not your fault that you feel this way, as anyone who has battled with depression knows. I am having my second boy and I was having crying episodes earlier in the pregnancy. I feel better about it now but when my fiance suggests that maybe this should be the last one I just about want to pop him in the face. I completely understand what you are feeling about just walking away, I felt that way before I found out we were definitely having a boy and before I had time to cope. Does your insurance offer any type of counseling? I am needing to do that this time around and hopeful that it will help.