Perinatal depression

[Rhio92]

Does anyone have any experience of this? I had it undiagnosed in my first pregnancy, but coped. This time it's severe. I have a community psychiatric nurse who visits fortnightly, and a number of people (inc mother and baby unit) to contact in an emergency.

On sunday night, things got so bad that I panicked because we only had 5 paracetomol in the house. I don't think I wanted to take them, I think I needed the reassurance that I had them there to overdose on if I needed to (which sounds so crazy, I know!). OH tried to call an ambulance, but called the mother and baby unit instead who talked him through looking after me, and said if it got bad again he was to call the police to take me to hospital. Luckily, it calmed down and I slept.

It's awful. I have intrusive thoughts, so I could be feeling fine, happily walking down the street, until something in my head tells me that I'm going to jump in front of a car, and I panic because I don't want to but I;m scared my body will make me do it.

I was prescribed an antidepressant recently. That was horrendous. I slept constantly, 18 hours out of 24. I wasn't able to feel anything except fear. My thoughts slowed down so much, I struggled to count to down. OH was getting upset and crying, and I was unable to feel any empathy, and my actions were robotic. Agreed now to not take them, but be under supervision.

Is anyone else going through the same? It would be great to find others x

 

[sammie13s]

I have this Its awful. And totally takes over my life. Im on prozac. Im continueing them throughout this pregnancy as they have been fine throughout my other pregnancies. I dont really have any advice for you Im battling myself at the moment. But wanted to offer you a hug and tell you, you are not alone hun. Im going through this with you

 

[Hb.x]

I had this terribly, and wasn't diagnosed until after LO was born. I don't have any advice, but just wanted to say hang in there, it will get better

 

[misspriss]

I'm worried I may have this as well.

At first I just thought it was harder to be "excited" with a second baby. But I feel quite hopeless a lot lately, cry for no reason, see no joy in life. I have intrusive thoughts as well, I know factually I'd never act on them, but they do make me scared that is where my mind goes.

I suffer from anxiety (but not depression) normally, and I can't take my anxiety medicine while pregnant. I have not brought it up to my doctor because honestly in the less than 5 minutes I get to see her I don't think about it, I'm thinking about my blood pressure, whether there is protein in my urine, etc.

I'm not comfortable with taking anti-depressants, I've been given them to try and treat my anxiety before, we went through several, and I was not myself on them at all. I am definitely not willing to take them while pregnant considering how they made me feel.

 

[Dawnyybus]

I had this through my pregnancy, at 21 weeks I was admitted to a psychiatric ward and stayed there unit baby was born at 36 weeks (4 months) it was horrible, I felt nothing for the baby, I didn't even feel pregnant. I was sad that I had those feelings but didn't feel anything anyway. I had no feelings and then didn't understand them when they started to come back and couldn't control them. My bad thoughts were uncontrollable and i self harmed and tried to take my life. I was prescribed a antidepressant which I still take and even though I'm home now and feeling abit better I still have my cpn visit weekly. I'm scared to admit that I'm starting to get low again because of the social services involvement because of how ill I was....
It's hard to explain to other people the feelings because we are supposed to be happy that we are having a baby, but it isn't something we have control over...

I'm sorry I don't have any advice but you aren't alone, I didn't realise perinatal depression was as common and felt so alone the whole time

Xxxxxx

 

[misspriss]

I have been feeling better in the past two weeks. I will talk to my doctor at next appointment.

 

[Rhio92]

(Copied from my post in GS)

Having concerns that I may be admitted to hospital due to it all.

I've had perinatal depression since the start of my pregnancy, but it's gradually getting worse. At first, it was niggling, but now I can barely function. I was assessed by the perinatal mental health team at 17 weeks and was diagnosed with moderate depression and anxiety, and was assigned a community psychiatric nurse. She comes every fortnight or so. To begin with, we just did anxiety management techniques and went through things to ease the depression such as getting out every day, etc.

Over Christmas, things got so much worse. I keep having 'episodes' (for want of a better word), I become very suicidal, anxiety goes through the roof, OH caught me crying because we only had 5 paracetomol in the house. Once, according to OH (I have no memory) I was walking around the house with no clothes on because I was hot (it was snowing outside!).

I worry people will hurt me. When I have 'bad episodes' I genuinely believe that OH, my CPN , etc are all teaming up to get LO and the baby taken off of me because they want them adopted out. I know it's irrational, but during those times, it makes complete sense, I can even rationalise it. The other day, I was certain that OH had made me a drink to make me ill because he believes that if I be sick, I'll get over my fear. Again, irrational, but made complete sense at the time. Sometimes things change colour whilst I watch them.

After a bad episode thursday night, my CPN said to OH on the phone that I may need to be admitted to the mother and baby unit, either for teh rest of my pregnacy, or immediately after being discharged after delivery. The CPN and OH both think I have episodes of psychosis.

I had an emergency appt with the psych doctor Friday afternoon, which was awful. I felt like I was being told off. They keep giving me medication to try, but think it's unreasonable that I worry when I read something like 'may cause muscle weakness in babies if taken in third tri' on the label. I'm supposed to just trust them. The medications also have horrible side effects. The one I'm on at the moment makes me so tired I can't function. All I can do is sleep. But they keep saying that I have to take the medication if I want to get better.

The doctor thinks I have severe depression and anxiety, but not psychosis.

They never let OH into the appt with me, so I struggle with them. I get all anxious and clam up, and let them be condescending to me.

Trying to research methods of getting better without all the drugs. I really hate the medication, but it's all they can offer me

 

[Dawnyybus]

I was in hospital for 4 months of my pregnancy, I was on a psychiatric ward as there isn't a mother and baby unit which would obviously be more specialised. Even though you don't want to take the meds they will only give you ones they know some things about and that are reasonably safe. My depression was so bad that we now have social services involved and I'm not allowed on my own with my baby or anything and if I stop taking my tablets I will be sectioned. Try and go with what they say or it will be worse. They should let your oh be involved in your appointments to get you the best help. My boyfriend came to nearly all my reviews and spoke for me and when he didn't come they were always bad... Sending you the few happy thoughts I have, send them back another day =] xxxxxxx