PG with #2 and anxious about how DD will take it...

[La Bergere]

Hi Ladies,

Nice to meet you all!
My ticker is about 5 days behind after my scan last week, so I'm at 14+1 today! I'm so relieved to be in the second tri!! Number 1 took a while to arrive, but #2 took nearly 18 months and at 39 I though my time was running out, so I feel really blessed to have a second chance.

This is my second DC, I have a beautiful daughter who is 3 in mid-November. We're like best buddies and she is a dream, a really well behaved, content little lady. I'm really worried about making her feel pushed out when number 2 arrives. Does anyone else feel these anxieties? How did your child take to #2 coming along? Any advice?

 

[Fruitmash]

I have a four year old and was really worried since she's been an only child for so long. But she's so excited! I make sure to include her with as much as I can, she came to the scans, she picked out his dummies, we call him by name and she cuddles into my bump. I can't tell you how she'll be when he gets here, but we've explained to her that babies take a lot of patience and mummy and daddy won't always be able to do what she wants with her, but we still love her and we'll always love her just as much as the baby. I just think if you include them then they can't feel excluded. Maybe give her little tasks? Pick out the coming home outfit, ask if she likes this item better than this item etc

 

[La Bergere]

Thanks! Good advice! She doesn't really get me being pregnant yet, but I'm sure as I get bigger she will so I'll get her involved.

 

[Amygdala]

I'd get some books on new siblings to read with her, talk about how it's going to be a lot, tell her the important things a big sister has to do (sing to the baby, fetch nappies, show them toys, tell them about the world...). Just try to make it as much part of your day to day reality as you can, before baby even arrives. And try not to worry too much. You're not taking attention from her, you're giving her a friend for life!

 

[ElsMommy26]

I had the same fears. My daughter is four, and not only was she an only child, but it was just her and I for four years, as her Dad was never in the picture. We were the best of friends, traveled to many places together, and made wonderful memories. Then all of a sudden - poof! New step dad and new baby on the way. I felt horrid and awful for throwing everything at her so fast, but of the course the baby was not planned! But to my complete surprise, she is so ecstatic about her baby brother coming. I just told her that God put another baby in my tummy, that we can't always help that, and that God must also think she would make an incredible big sister. Now she rubs my tummy and sends messages to her baby brother, she helped us pick the name, and I told her best of all, she gets to teach him things. She seemed to like that one the best
Your daughter will be just fine - we moms worry all the time, but kids are much more resilient than we give them credit for!

 

[rose.]

I kept my son involved right from the beginning - he was one of the first people to know. We asked him if he could try and keep it a 'secret' which he really enjoyed. He is really excited about being a big brother, and I let him help me sort through clothes, buy things etc and talk about the baby on a daily basis. He has also been to the 20 week scan and seemed to enjoy seeing his baby sister. He talks about her lots. I hope he is still as keen once she arrives!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

My youngest will be nearly 4. She likes me all to herself but I have not over thought it. She will just have to adapt in time and try and still have 1:1 xx