Picky eating OH-Behavioral therapy for food?

[bky]

I don't even know where to put this. Basically my OH was psychologically abused as a child with food and now getting him to eat things like vegetables is a real struggle. They make him feel anxious and physically ill. However, I try to get him to eat healthy, but a lot of the time he either picks my meals apart (physically) or just doesn't eat it. I've gone years with making separate meals for us so there aren't too many or the wrong types of vegetables in his but it's a lot of extra effort. Now with the baby I need to sometimes make three separate meals when I cook and it's really frustrating. In the interests of time and sanity either I end up not eating healthy (cooking for him), or I put too many, or not cut up right or the wrong kind of vegetables in something and he won't eat it (cooking for me). So I either cook separate meals for everyone, or feel crappy when he won't eat what I've made for him.
He wishes he liked them, but as mentioned they either make him feel anxious or ill. So please don't tell me I should make him 'grow up' or similar.

Has anyone ever done any behavioral cognitive therapy on food or have any advice on that?

Any other suggestions? He offers to cook his own food, but frankly he ruins the pans and I have to clean up. I try to keep on top of making the separate meals, but I just wish we could all eat the same thing.

 

[BradysMum]

I didn't want to read and run. I have seen TV shows about people going through therapy as adults to do with food issues. It seemed to genuinely help them with their issues with food. Sorry I can't be of more help!

 

[calm]

Basically he would need to confront his fears, bit by bit. He is now doing experiential avoidance, which is making it worse. As its quite specific his best bet would be to start with a therapist, but there has to be books out there. However, he has to really want to do this, if not, there is nothing you can do. I personally think he should get involved with the cooking, but I could be wrong. Hope you sort it out XXX

 

[kiasuten]

I'm not sure to what extent his problems with food exist, but I've had the "picky eating disorder" since I was a toddler. It was due to psychological issues as well.

I didn't start eating better (and I still don't eat WELL, only better) until I got pregnant. I realized that I had to force-feed myself things that would before make me cry, gag, vomit, etc. just to make sure my baby would be healthy.

I think if it weren't for the pregnancy, I wouldn't have done those things. I have been discussing this issue in therapy for the last 4 years, and I have become much more comfortable with the issues, and so more comfortable considering trying things, just because I was becoming more aware of why I ate the way that I did.

It will be a very time consuming thing, him going to therapy to deal with this issue, and it might require that you and he go together, and possibly the baby when she gets older. An issue I have been concerned about (besides the inconvenience of my OH cooking for himself, me cooking for myself, and then the added mouth of our baby) is being able to set a good example of eating habits for our child. I'm not comfortable eating french fries and junk food while telling my son that he needs to eat his green veggies.

Look into psychotherapists who deal with disordered eating patterns (make sure they understand that he does not have anorexia or bulimia before making an appointment) and anxiety.

Good luck

 

[bky]

Thanks all. While he can eat vegetables even knowingly, and has no issues with flavour, it's the texture that upsets him. I'm pandering a bit right now by mixing in pureed vegetables to our food and he's happy to eat it knowing there are vegetables in there. As long as he doesn't have to deal with the sensation of biting them I guess ...?
But am looking into therapy options. xx