Playing out front with neighbours

[red_head]

Why can't you have her friends over? I grew up in a country lane, a town away from where I went to school so no one nearby (although actually around age 10 a school friend moved in about half mile up the road who I used to play with). I used to have friends round practically daily in the holidays, saw cousins on weekends, we spent hours in the woods building dens and round the house playing whatever. I did have a sibling too though so her friends were round as well. Just because you don't know the parents doesn't mean you can't introduce yourself or something? But I also have always really been okay with my own company and being on my own when we couldn't have people round (e.g. If we were snowed in or something). We joined lots of groups too - dancing, riding, gymnastics, theatre group and met people that way too - and that was from a really young age (like 2 or 3 yrs).

 

[jessmke]

Why can't you invite her friends over without knowing their parents? You can meet them when they drop their kid off, or even come in for a visit if you want to get to know them.

 

[pompeyvix]

Thanks for all your replies. Does anyone have any suggestions other than moving house to an area that may have children she could play out with.

Organising play dates is a bit of a nightmare, parents work and don't really want to spend the weekend or evenings at our house. Some of my daughters friends at school we don't even know what the parents look like so would be hard to ask those friends over.

The past three days she has only had adults as company, we have not seen one child. We have taken her swimming, played games, watched films and taken the dogs for a walk. I feel really sorry for her that she never has any children to play with.

She does swimming class and gymnastics but they are structured classes so doesn't really play or speak to the other kids.

Advice and suggestions neeeded please.

Do you know for sure that the parents work and don't want to spend evenings/weekends having play dates or are you just assuming that? You say you don't know what the parents look like so I can only think you are making assumptions.

My daughter has just started reception and I've made a good network of mum friends already. Facebook initially was my friend as there is a page set up for reception starters and in the summer before she started, we arranged play dates at the park so the kids could get to know one another. Now relationships have formed, it is easier to arrange stuff. Of course people have plans sometimes and can't make things but more often than not I find there is always someone around who can come to the park. With Halloween next week I posted on our group if anyone fancied trick or treating and about 6 mum's replied saying they are keen.

So first of all, I would see if there is a facebook group set up and join it. If there isn't, there I would set one up myself and spread the word. Once one or two people know about it and join, word soon spreads. From there you can arrange to see if anyone is around for play dates/attending events together etc.

The second thing I would do is find out who your Daughter's friends are at school and if it is allowed, I would write out a note to the parents explaining
that your Daughter would love to invite X round for tea sometime and leave your number. Give it to the teacher to put in that child's bag and hopefully you will then be contacted by the parent.

If you are picking up at the end of the day ask your Daughter who her friends are and then go up to the mum/dad/grandparent and introduce yourself. They will probably say "Oh, so your X's mum! My daughter talks a lot about your Daughter" etc and you can then strike up a conversation that way. When Anabella started school, she kept talking about a girl called Amelia and after a couple of weeks I saw Amelia go to her mum and we made polite conversation initially and that has now progressed to park and play dates.

I find some parents aren't that bothered about socialising/hanging out and making friends and that's fine. But I've found a lot are more open to it than you may think.

 

[pompeyvix]

Too add; If you genuinely don't feel the parents and their kids want to come over and spend time at your house on an evening or weekend, what about going somewhere like a soft play? I am not sure the area you live it, but we have loads of soft play centre where we are. Only on Friday I arranged to meet a friend and her two children at one and it cost £6.50 entry including an evening meal which I thought was good value. When the weather is good, perhaps meeting at a local park.

 

[SarahBear]

Our house is set back from the street a bit. You can only go to the road by going down our gravel driveway which has a bit of woods on either side. There is plenty of space to play and run without going toward the road. My almost 5 year old is allowed outside without an adult, but she is not allowed to go to the street without an adult. I don't think she'll be allowed to the street alone until she can show me she understands basic traffic safety.

 

[Jessica60]

Thanks for all your advice.

My daughter only plays with a select few in her class. She is fussy who she plays with. There is a Facebook group but the ones in that that meet up are the girls that are bullies so don't want to meet up with those ones, and the moms I'm not too keen on too, all seem very bitchy and I know there have been fights between them. Pomeyvix I am very envious of your school Facebook, sounds like a lovely lot.

Will see who she mentions she plays with further into the year and then get the confidence to seek out the parent and arrange a play date. It would still be handy to have someone next door or out the front she can just play with as and when.

 

[twobecome3]

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