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Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by Wobbles, Oct 31, 2009.
I got banned for a week when I announced mine in here in June 2009!
I only wanted to thank the ladies for their support... Especially as they supported me after my loss at 14 weeks, then they were there on my ttc journey which took me another 6 months to concieve.
So be careful what you say ladies!!
I STILL dont think bfp announcements should be on TTC-Admin are absolutely right in banning this, i was ttc 2yrs and last thing id want to hear if people were ttc 2 months or 2yrs was then got bfp.\Cos i admit it really hurt not cos they were pregnant it was becos i wasnt.TTC is such a painful journey i know.If u want post bfp create a journal or stick it in ur sig TBH even signitures bombarded with tickers usedto fustrate me thats why i just go lickle one
Whist this thread was refreshed (due to new sections added to BabyandBump) there has always been a sticky at the top of the TTC section about posting BFPs here.
Please DO NOT Post BFP Announcements In This Section
You had been around long enough to know that you could post in your journal (where your support was) but NOT in the TTC section for any reason. Your account was a temporary warning to read and pay note to these guidelines that are set for reasons.
I understand that, but I felt like I was being made an example of because before I posted my thanks, there were LOADS of people who posted their BFP's in here and never got temporarily banned
The difference was, they didn't call the title of their BFP thread "Hi Girls...Know im not meant to, but..."
There are a percentage of members that legitimately get it wrong. You didn't.
I agree fully with Admin here and not allowing these kinds of posts in the general TTC forums - there's a seperate BFP section where all can post and this is the place people should go if that want hope/inspiration etc.
However, I'd like to ask Admin if they might consider making this thread a sticky on TTC #1 forum too, as we've had lots of BFP posts in there lately and it's upsetting a few of the ladies there?
OMG...I really am in shock about this. Good grief. My husband and I have been TTC for over 5 years and have suffered two losses and under went 2 IUI's and going to attempt our third as soon as I am done the loss of my blighted Ovum. I can tell you, 100% that I would NEVER be upset or angry for someone announcing their BFP no matter how I was feeling that day. Man if thats all it takes to upset someome....Maybe we shouldn't be allowed to go places where pregnant women will be because we might be jelous of their bumps? Come on......
I totally disagree,id been trying for 2yrs to concieve and then people would announce oh it was an accident or we did it in 1st month and u cant tell me u feel fine about that. x
I do feel fine about it and would expect the same from others if I posted my good news no matter how it happened! I refuse to envy no one. I would much rather enjoy good news! Just because its not happening for me, doesnt mean someone should feel guilty about their pregnancy. I think that sends the wrong message.
Thats great you feel like that.Im amazed how uv never felt jealousy.I have on here a few times but id never have a go at someone or make them feel bad cos theyve concieved.
I think u can be happy for someone but be sad for yourself.
Im sure if u asks the majority of women on here ttc they would rather not see a bfp rubbed in someones face.
Ok so sorry if I am slow, I am in the TWW and am tracking sx ect so let say I do end up with a BFP (heres to hopint) I cant do an update. For me trying the last 6 mos and with 2 mcs it helps to see the tww sx and the end result but that is just me, it gives me hope
I agree misfit76, I admit I get upset when I hear others are preggers but then have to get out of myself and realize that its not all about me I have a ton of friends who are preggers and just went to my friends daughters first bday, the only one there without a baby but that is life and my opportunity will be amazing doesnt mean I cant be happy for others. I love hearing that people who have tried a long time got their bfp it makes me have hope
Exactly. My best friend just had twins last Monday and we both go pregnant at the same time. I lost my pregnancy and never avoided her or anything. I was so happy for her. And I dont think when people post BFP its because they want to rub it in anyones face. They are happy and they want the world to know!!! Sure it makes me SAD sometimes when I see pregnan women, but I am not jealous of them. It will happen for me. Being upset about someone elses pregnancy isnt going to help me get pregnant. I just think that we should all be able to post BFP anywhere in the forum we want. I mean anywhere. Lets put on our big girl panties here and realize that its not all about us!!!! SOmeone else matters and lets share in their joy.
The point of this rule is that the situation is different for everyone. Some people may be upset by BFP announcements in the TTC section, some may just revel in the good news and it can give them hope. The rule is in place to cover everyone, to save the feelings of those who find it hard to be strong all the time, for several individual reasons. It gets us all down at one point or another, which is perfectly normal. TTC affects everyone in different ways, and there are so many different circumstances. The BFP Announcements section is only a click away if you want to be inspired by the stories of other women. But for those of us who find it too hard to bear in a place that they come to, to seek comfort, this is why the rule is in place.
@Misfit76 - It's great that you have such a positive outlook on life - I take my hat off to you! However, you haven't been on this forum very long. I've been hanging around here for a few years now and have many friends on here who have been trying since 2008 and still no kids, and I can tell you that your average women DOES have ups and downs and days when they really don't want to hear about someone else's BFP. I think you are an exception.
Telling people to put their big girls knickers on isn't very helpful tho imo, it's a bit condescending. When someone is down, the best way to comfort them is to show sympathy and support, not tell them to get over it.
There is no problem posting BFP announcements on BnB in the right place. If you are in the frame of mind where you want inspiration and good news stories, head on over to the BFP section and get your fill. Let those who are feeling the pressure of TTC and who need to talk and share but do NOT want to see any more BFP's right now thank you very much still use the TTC forum.
I wish you lots of in getting your BFP.
it means the bfp announcement on ttc forum atall not just this one
I've only been on this site a couple of days (hi! ), I have been TTC for 15months and I have been getting quite into reading the lengthy posts within the TTC section. The stories where women experience BFN after BFN and then suddenly crop up with a BFP is immensely reassuring to me.
Most often I have noted that it gets mentioned once (obviously with the ensuing congrats from others) then the woman offers her advice, symptoms to others so we know what to look out for/expect.
The idea that we can all support each other through BFN emotional highs and lows and then suddenly drop off the radar into phase 2 just because a woman has a BFP is somewhat odd to me.
Surely someone advising on a BFP would give the rest of hope that we will get our turn?? I'm extremely happy for those who do as I know how hard it can be and can literally feel their relief through their words!
On the flip side I do understand women who find it hard to read about BFPs in the TTC section, especially after suffering losses of their own or those who have had a particularly long wait with no results. Wouldn't these same women want to express their own joy with their circle of friends within a particular thread on falling pregnant instead of personal messaging each and every one or just dropping them completely to move into the pg forums?
I don't think a BFP should be the main topic of a post in the TTC section but I do think it should be allowed a mention when it does occur.
LilLeafLea - I went through a MMC in December and let me tell you, it destroys your emotions. Many women who go through pregnancy losses find it extremely hard to cope with seeing/hearing/knowing others are pregnant - it's an immense jealousy and grief you feel when someone else is lucky enough to have what you've so cruelly lost.
I couldn't cope for several months with seeing pregnant women, I even missed the last trimester of a good friend's pregnancy as I was so very jealous, bitter and sad.
For women who want to see some good news, there's the BFP announcement part of the forum, a great place to read about women who've been struggling and finally get their BFP. But to have it shoved in your face when you're dealing with a loss, or with conception problems...it can be absolutely heartbreaking. I ended up having to take a break from the forums as I couldn't handle it, which is sad...
I think it's also important to note that if you're looking for success stories and likely symptoms from others who have recently conceived, you can go to the BFP Announcement forum or the Pregnancy forums; the ladies there are extremely helpful and will most likely answer any questions you have.
I have issues with a lot of people arguing with the rule on the basis that "I like to see BFPs because they give people hope." They give SOME people hope, as many other posters have stated. For others, it makes them really upset; some of them get upset enough to not want to participate in the forum for a while (I've seen some posts to this effect after a lot of people have posted BFP announcements in the section, disregarding this rule). The TTC forums are really helpful, and I think that women should be able to participate in the forum and get all of the help that they need during what can be a really difficult, stressful, disheartening process. If posting BFP announcements hinders them from getting the help and support they need, then it should be avoided. Plain and simple. That's my opinion, anyhow... *Steps off her soap box*