Well, I am anxiously awaiting a BFP! I am a new member and still learning at navigating this forum. I read a lot here while going through my emotional roller coaster of a m/c. I apologize if this is the wrong thread for posting this. But, here is my story:
I have 2 boys, 6 and 11, from my ex-husband. He is a total dead beat. I was with him from age 18- 26, married at 20. I have currently been with my now fiance for 5 yrs at the end of this month. He treats my boys like his own, my 6yr old was barely one when we started dating. My son was calling him "daddy" by the time he was 1 1/2. The first time he said it, my fiance almost teared up he was so touched. However, he has desperately wanted a baby with me. I had been holding off, but went off my b/c pills in late may. Found out I was pregnant early August. A couple years ago we had 3 consecutive chemical pregnancies. My pregnancy with both boys was perfectly normal. Well, turns out I had un-diagnosed grave's disease (an auto immune disorder that attacks your thyroid and eye muscles). I was overtly hyper-thyroid, which is known to cause miscarriage. After a rough couple years, lots of tests and meds, I had a thyroidectomy and now take replacement thyroid hormone. My levels are now normal. So, when I became pregnant late july, I felt no reason to worry. Due to prior m/c and grave's, I was considered high risk. At FETAL age 3 1/2wks , my hcg was over 19,000! Signs of either molar pregnancy or twins. After an early u/s to date the pregnancy (had one weird period after I stopped bc), is when I found out I w as 5 1/2wks along, fetal age 3 1/2wks. By 6 wks, I already needed maternity pants. With my boys, I didn't show at ALL til around 16 wks+ ..... Well, in sept I found out my baby stopped growing at 6wk3days. I had VERY light spotting that I mentioned to my doc, so he ordered another blood test and repeat u/s - about 2 1/2wks after the first round... Hcg was only 35k....didn't even double in over 2wks. No hb. A f/u scan was done 3 days later to be sure. No growth, no hb
We were so devastated - worse, but that's the closest word for it. I was in shock and denial. I have always been in tune w/ my body, and just couldn't wrap my head around it. Went to ER next day to see if they had a different result (like I said - denial). No hb, and hcg dropped to 28k. Finally had to accept it. Should have been about 10 wks along, but I stayed at 6wks. Because the baby was small, the doc have me a week to m/c naturally. 5 days later I did - boy did I! Unbelievable pain, emotional and physical. I literally screamed, drenched in sweat for a few hours. I lost a LOT of blood...soaking pads every 30 min, lying on a towel that was also soaked, and when I went to the bathroom, o had so much blood coming out it looked like someone was murdered. (sorry tmi) as clot after clot passed, I was getting dizzu and light headed. I felt drained. The worst was when the tiny little fetus came out, attached I assume, to the sac. It was maybe a cm, but you could see the head and rounded rump, curved. I went back to the er the next morning. Still bleeding heavily. While there I passed the twin no one knew I had, despite my high hcg early on... This idiot nurse wanted a urine sample even though I explained how much bllod w was coming out...she actually said "well just do your best to only get the urine" ??!!? Well, I didn't do so well, because that's exactly when the twin came out, into the specimen cup, looking identical to what I passed at home.they were quite surprised, seeing how it was never seen in previous u
Scans. After my next scan, I was told my uterus was "empty" very fitting word, but again, a little cruel I thought. I was given iv fluids to help rebuild my blood supply. I had a class one hemorrhage, the lower kind. I had/have excellent iron, so I didn't need a transfusion, just fluids to help my body. I bled heavily for a total of 5 days, but spotted fir another week.
This is when the baby obsessed , pee on a stick addiction started. I now track my bbt, keep a journal, and even bought an OPK. I am now determined to have my baby. It took a few yrs for my other half to convince me to have a baby, yet now its all I can think of. Reading forums like this one had helped me tremendously. I'm happy I joined. I spent so much money after mc on pregnancy tests, hoping I'd be one of those people that got preggo right off. It was 7 wks before that unwelcome witch to start. I'm hoping my cycles are now going back to how they used to be - textbook 28 days. If so, I should ov around 15th-17th this month, fingers crossed and praying that on the 3oth, I will see a BFP for our 5th anniversary! That would be exciting! I still have 5 tests left over from last month, plus my opk, so I'm truly hoping this month stays on track! Thank you everyone for sharing stories on so many threads...i have been collecting all the baby dust and hoping it sticks! Also ntt prayers for all and a big sack filled with sticky baby dust for everyone! I would love to see a big november/december club! (making us a big august/september baby club!) Good luck, keep praying!
totally been there. I was ttc my 1st for years 
